To think my 22 year old daughter should let me know if she is not coming home?

[Pollywollydolly]

It's 2.30 am. I have work in the morning and I should be in bed. Instead I am phoning and texting my 22 year old daughter as I have no idea where she is. I should add it's not unusual for her not to tell me she's staying out, but she has recently split from her long-term boyfriend and her best friend is asleep upstairs.

Last thing I heard from her was a drunken phone conversation about four hours ago when she told me that her best friend was going to pick her up soon. I'm pretty sure she hasn't been out. I offered to pick her up but she didn't want me to.

I have a busy job and I'm going to be shattered in the morning. Every time she does this I wonder if this will be the time she doesn't turn up tomorrow. I've just broken my own rule and left her a furious answer phone message.

I've explained to her time after time that I just need to know she's safe. Am I being unreasonable?

She was tired and flustered and made a mistake. Give her a break. Hardly going to get worst mum of the year award!

I dont think anyone said when was worst mun of the year.

But assuming your daughter isnt home and not bother checking her room or the person who was picking her and instead leaving furious messages, isnt normal and does sound like controlling behaviour.
The assumption that dd must be in the wrong and contacting her to have a go, before even looking to see if she was, isnt ok.

The whole situation could have been avoided if the OP didn't expect her dd to let her know if she wasn't coming home.

Our 23 year old DS lives with us. We don't expect him.to tell us if he intends to stay out all night if he doesn't know on advance. He went out with his mates last night, I haven't got out of bed yet so have no idea if he is home or if he stayed at a friends etc. He's quite often out until 2 or 3 on a Friday evening and I go to bed way before then so wouldn't have a clue even if he did text me at 2am to say he was staying out.

Much easier this way. He may be in his bedroom, at a mates or maybe with a random stranger he hooked up with last night. None of my business.