...to start being a little miffed at how friends' weight affects my decoration choices?

[AlmostChristmas2019]

That really. We have a couple of friends who weigh 21+ stones and it affects what furniture we can feasible get.

We just moved and this is the second time this is really starting to bug me.

A few examples:
...I have chucked out my top 5 choices of dinning chairs, because they either couldn't take that weight and/or had armrest that would literally dig into their bodies.
...changed my choice of sofa so it can support multiple obese people.
...did not get a shoe bench because their weight crashed the last one after a couple of uses (yes, that was the issue)
...tried to get an airbed that would support the weight of two obese people safely for occasional overnight stays (e.g. New Years) - found one that was tested to a high weight but apparently, even then they are likely to pop. American Amazon was a scary eye-opener.
...holding off on new Garden chairs, as the ones that they can sit on are pricier than the ones I'd usually get (shared, very social garden, so not looking for anything fancy) - which means we barely used the garden since moving.
....all of the options suitable for heavy people are way pricier

I do want my guests to feel welcome, I really do. I am just so over having to check the maximum weight every time I look at furniture that is meant to support human bodies in some way.

It doesn't help that most of them are friends DH kind of brought into the relationship and which I have neither a paricularly good nor bad friendship. They were all friends at uni and we are the people who live where it is easiest to meet for everyone. That is fine, I usually love a full house, but I feel so limited by someone else's choices right now*

DH does arrange to meet up out of our house with them more often now but that doesn't change the fact that our furniture needs to be able to support a good deal of weight relatively frequently. And I would feel hypocritical to say "no, you never get to bring your friends here" because I would have no issue with it if we didn't need specialised furniture.

Bottom-line: Am I being unreasonable for wanting to choose my furniture without having to think about the weight of people who do not live here?

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• Not to go into too much detail here, because it is not relevant to my question, but as it is sure to be mentioned: I know obesity can have lots of underlying causes. Besides two of the people in question here, the cause is poor food choices + no exercise. They're quite open about it.

Each couple is 21 stone, or each person in the couple?

21 stone for a couple is surely fairly standard?

I have a very obese friend. Once she was visiting and broke a chair. I had no idea previous to this about weight limits.

For her visits thereafter she has chosen to only sit on my very sturdy dining chairs. I have offered her to sit on the sofa and other furniture, but she declines. She asks for the dining chair to be brought into the other room (I now always put one of these in the front room so she doesn’t need to ask). I realise by friends knows more about what can or cannot hold her weight and chooses accordingly.

Recently, DH has purchased a sports car. I offered friend a day out to someplace special for her birthday and said I’d come in this lovely new car - friend said no, she wouldn’t feel comfortable in the car. DH later told me there are weight restrictions on some cars and to consider her size. I’m now more aware and notice when out with friend she’s careful where she sits.

One would think your DH friends would also be aware and take care. Your home would not be the only place where they would have these issues.

YANBU to consider their needs but you shouldn’t have to base furnishing your home with them in mind. Perhaps two occasional chairs specifically with them in mind and steer them towards these chairs.

The lightest person of the six is around 21 to 22 stone. The rest of them is definitely heavier but I don't know how heavy.

@GenuineQuestions size 26 here. We know. I will often change a chair in a restaurant or office. We know and are reminded every day.

It would be nice if they took responsibility for their weight and asked which items could take it and perhaps bring their own chairs.

How could they bring their own chairs?

Hire a van? Strap the chairs to the roof of the car?

Op I don't know why your getting a hard time and I also have hormone imbalance pcos where body hugs calories and struggles to process carbs.

Perhaps op was hoping someone would come up with working solution to her issues? This is what mn is perfect for, asking solutions to difficult situations...

Worra, they can't drive I was thinking more of sturdy fold away chairs like camping style.

@AdoreTheBeach I honestly do not think they realise weight limits are a thing or that they exceed the limit of some furniture. Maybe it is something they do not want to deal with or are not ready to deal with, I honestly do not know. Their own sofas are completely wrecked, i.e. including a distinct bend of the seat that should decidedly not be there, and they do not seem to notice.

I am a similar weight to your friends and even I don't out this much thought and effort into what furniture we buy! I have to say ivr never had an issue with sofas or beds. Yes blow up mattresses are as issue - we have two singles for camping, one is strong for me and DH has a normal one.

Garden chairs are tricky as they often are weak / i did break one years ago and always cautious when i visit friends. Personally would buy whatever set you like and bring out stronger dining chairs for them.

For me, the better quality you buy the stronger so you are not particularly buying 'fat' chairs but buying quality.

Fatty Arbuckle here and I have never looked to see if furniture I want has a weight limit. Never broken a chair or sofa in my life and I'm definitely capable of sitting gently, despite being the size of a house. What a crock of shit designed to create a froth fest.

@Collision DH thinks we should accommodate their weight, which I agree with, tbf. As I mentioned, he meets them in a pub after work more often now, to avoid the issue to a point, but that is not really a permanent solution.

I have a friend who is heavier than 21st. She has visited me, sat on my dining chairs,armchairs, sofa. None have them have broken under her weight. All of them were charity shop or hand me downs from relatives. What is this furniture you buy that is so delicate?

What is the difference between one 20 stone person in a bed and 2 ten stone people?

The spread of the weight, quite obviously. Look at mattresses, sofas or anything else and you will see the restrictions.
If I step on both of your feet at the same time there will be less damage than if I step on one with all my weight.

@ Collision
I think all the people taking umbrage at this thread are fatties themselves!

Really? How can you tell?
Maybe we're fat
Maybe we just object to sneering dressed up as a question about furniture.
This wasn't a, 'hey, can you tell me where to buy strengthened furniture to make my guests feel welcome' kind of question.
This was a 'why to I have to put up with fat people in my home, when they could just eat salad and exercise more' kind of question.
I object to people making thinly veiled jibes at another group of people based on prejudice and little else.
That's the sort of person I am

My husband was at one point 21 stone (also 6ft 2) and I must admit I never even considered damaged furniture! We have never checked the weight limit - maybe we should! I think its more that your friends are being rude - my hubby would never have sat somewhere like your shoe bench if that he thought he would break it - and he would certainly get off and replaced it if he heard a crack!
I think buy what you want and if you really want to - get two extra weight appropriate chairs for when they visit.

Your dh has 6 friends that visit and the lightest is 21 stone. Did his Uni have a sumo wrestling team?

And I agree it's goady shit.

I don't think going for the you-broke-it-you-pay-for-it principle is likely to work. Has anyone ever been paid? As others have said, it's unusual for furniture to be destroyed completely. What usually happens is that it's damaged but is still kind of usable. And as it's all a bit embarrassing nothing much gets said. It's happened to us with a "click-clack" sofa bed which is now very hard to use because part of the mechanism got bent, a dining chair (cheap as hell, didn't really care) and a cast-iron grate in the floor which broke under someone's weight, which was really difficult (and expensive) to replace.

I think all the people taking umbrage at this thread are fatties themselves!

Where's the eye roll emoji when you need it. Stupid comment. I'm normal weight, as I'm sure others are who have questioned the OP. I just think she's being ridiculous and her entire post is designed to ridicule her fat friends. I wonder what her DH would think if he realised she was humiliating his best mates on a public forum?

I think you're trying to be kind here OP but I think saying to people 'dont worry, ive bought fat-person friendly furniture' is borderline offensive.

Id buy the furniture I liked. They'll be aware that theres some furniture they cant sit on.

@AJPTaylor Not to my knowledge. He has lighter friends, too, and some of his obese friends were skinny when they met. This is just the way things developed, I guess stressful jobs can do that.

To add to @SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated response, the issue is more that two or more 21+ stone people sit on the (corner-) sofa, which is beyond the weight limit of some sofas. one 21 stone person is not too different from two 10.5 stone people but two 10.5stone people is a hell of a lot different to two people who combined weigh over 35stone.

Id like to add - im a size 12, 5ft 6inch woman. For those that think that tgose questioning OP are bigger.

Id buy the furniture I liked. They'll be aware that theres some furniture they cant sit on.

They are clearly not and I don't feel it is my place to confront them with their weight.

Is this a joke thread?