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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not go? Re birthday party

128 replies

Raisingwildanimals · 10/11/2019 08:04

DD has been invited to her first ever school friend birthday party. It’s this afternoon and I had planned to go to the shops to pick up a card and small gift on the way to the party. It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve barely had time to wee let alone nip to the shops. Problem being, I’ve just double checked my bank and I’ve got 37p so not enough to buy anything (pay day is tomorrow so not an issue in regards to anything else) I don’t want to seem rude by not getting a gift for this girl so I’d rather not go. DD isn’t that bothered and swears she doesn’t know the girl anyway as it’s a big class. Wibu to go to the party with no gift or card or wib even more u to not go to the party?

OP posts:
churchandstate · 10/11/2019 08:06

Is there nobody who could lend you a fiver until tomorrow?

BitOfFun · 10/11/2019 08:06

I'd just sack it off, I think.

Pinkyyy · 10/11/2019 08:07

Can't you get your DD to make a nice card? I'm sure you've probably got something that could be re-gifted. It would be a shame for her to miss out.

Doyoumind · 10/11/2019 08:08

I've known people give a gift afterwards.

Taleasoldastime90 · 10/11/2019 08:08

It would be really rude not to turn up, depending on the party, they will have payed for a place for her and food, not to mention her friend may be upset she didn't show.
Can you not use a credit card or just go into your over draft for one day?

Starrynights86 · 10/11/2019 08:08

I would make a card with your daughter and still take her. I wouldn’t care if you didn’t bring a present but I would be pissed if you cancelled last minute.

RiddleyW · 10/11/2019 08:08

How old? Id have tonight you could make a card? And regift something?

Cantchooseaname · 10/11/2019 08:09

Just say you forgot to pick it up- it’s on worktop, you will send into school next week.

Chocolatecake12 · 10/11/2019 08:09

Does your dd have £5 in her piggy bank? Get her to make a card and put the £5 inside or but a gift with it and pay her back tomorrow.

Pixilicious · 10/11/2019 08:09

Go. Pretend you forgot the card and present and give it tomorrow at school pick up.

CAG12 · 10/11/2019 08:10

I like the idea of your DD making a card!

Id go with the handmade card and say you'll get the gift to them tomorrow

ktjerl · 10/11/2019 08:10

Just tell the parent you forgot to bring the present and give it to them the next time you see them. Unless your daughter knows that the reason of course.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 10/11/2019 08:10

I would either Turn up and apologise saying I’d left the gift at home, I’ll bring it to school tomorrow at pick up, or find something my child hasn’t played with or read to wrap up

SunshineAngel · 10/11/2019 08:11

Is there nothing in the house you can give? If you're anything like me you'll have plenty of things from Christmas or birthdays that have never been played with!

hidinginthenightgarden · 10/11/2019 08:13

I would either regift an unused toy or go saying you forgot the gift and will drop it off at school.
I have genuinely forgotton to take gifts before

Booboostwo · 10/11/2019 08:13

If your have RSVPed then it’s quite rude not to go. Get your DD to make a card and say you forgot the present at home, buy something tomorrow and take it into school.

Daneel · 10/11/2019 08:14

I think it'd be ruder not to go. And most people would be happy with a card your daughter made herself and wouldn't notice no gift. Or if you're bothered, do you have any old craft sets she could make something like a bracelet out of?

User24689 · 10/11/2019 08:14

I also think you should go and apologise and say you forgot to pick it up on your way out the door. Then pick something up next week.

Someone did this for my son's birthday a few weeks ago and the gift never materialised. I suspect they couldn't afford one and were saving face in front of the children. I'm not in the slightest bit bothered! My son was really happy to have their child attend.

Jengnr · 10/11/2019 08:16

Go to the party. ‘Forget’ the present. Apologise, say it’s on the side. Give it to your daughter to take to school tomorrow.

BuntyBonus · 10/11/2019 08:19

I’m shocked that someone is suggesting using a credit card for a child’s party! If the OP only had 37p in her bank account the day before pay day (I’m always in a similar position) then it is obvious that she is not flush with money. Putting a gift on a CC and inviting interest and fees is ludicrous. And I’m pretty sore if the OP had all these gifts around the house waiting to be be re-gifted she would have thought of that herself. OP I would just go. Say that you left the gift on the worktop and will bring it to school next week. I have genuinely done this before and had already arrived at the party so was too late to go back.

Greyhound22 · 10/11/2019 08:23

The thing is although they may be in a better position than you - you will cost the other parent money by not going - what sort of party is it? I think unless there's a horrid sudden illness it's really rude not to turn up. Just say you've forgotten the present and get her something tomorrow.

Gizlotsmum · 10/11/2019 08:29

Go, pretend you left card and present at home (maybe arrive a few minutes late making it look like you rushed out so more likely to have forgotten :)) take to school in the week.

blahblahblahblahhh · 10/11/2019 08:31

I wouldn't care if someone turned up without a gift. Id far rather people came and had a nice time and didn't worry about money being a barrier. In fact my DS bday earlier this year (3) we asked for no presents at all.

TokyoSushi · 10/11/2019 08:33

Yes I'd also 'forget' the present and take it this week.

RickOShay · 10/11/2019 08:33

Definitely go!
I’m with @blahblahblahblahhh, the presents do not make the party, the children do Grin