Aibu to not go? Re birthday party

[Raisingwildanimals]

DD has been invited to her first ever school friend birthday party. It’s this afternoon and I had planned to go to the shops to pick up a card and small gift on the way to the party. It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve barely had time to wee let alone nip to the shops. Problem being, I’ve just double checked my bank and I’ve got 37p so not enough to buy anything (pay day is tomorrow so not an issue in regards to anything else) I don’t want to seem rude by not getting a gift for this girl so I’d rather not go. DD isn’t that bothered and swears she doesn’t know the girl anyway as it’s a big class. Wibu to go to the party with no gift or card or wib even more u to not go to the party?

I've genuinely forgotten a gift often; no harm in giving a belated gift.

Did you go? I hope so. If I had to cancel at last minute, I would still expect to give the gift next time I saw the birthday girl.
We have had last minute cancellation and given a gift and apologies for not coming. It is polite as others say, entertainment food and party bags all head counted and paid for.
However, we usually state that no gifts are necessary but hand made and pre loved are welcome. We genuinely have too much plastic tatt in our house and kids love what ever they do or don't receive. They get plenty already

Go to the party and bring a present later / another day after you've been paid.

Or regift. Books are always good to regift but need to be in good condition with no dedication (to your child) inside front cover. Home made cards are lovely.

Woah, why are so many people saying to borrow money or go into an overdraft for a party that the OP DD isn’t bothered about? What’s wrong with missing a kids party anyway? They are a nightmare.

I'd send her. I honestly never notice who does and doesn't bring a gift to the party and would be upset at the thought of a young child missing out and n a party because they couldn't afford one

I would pretend I'd left the gift at home and send it in to school when you've got the money.

Go to the party and say oops I left the present at home, and will bring to school tomorrow! They will understand.

why are so many people saying to borrow money or go into an overdraft for a party that the OP DD isn’t bothered about? What’s wrong with missing a kids party anyway? They are a nightmare.

because it's easier to put your £2 present in a pile of other presents, than giving it all by itself a few days later.

Kids party are not for the parents, they are for the children - who cares that YOu think they are a nightmare, the child might be really looking forward to it!

I would take a hand made card pretend you've forgotten the gift at home and take it with you tomorrow afternoon to school

I would just go with homemade card, I'm genuinely happy with no gift - we have 30 children coming to my DD party and that is an obscene amount of presents for one child. If you're worried then you can always pretend to have forgotten it.

This has happened to me before, I just had to pretend I left it at home on the kitchen side 😬 lying isn’t great but I bought and dropped off the gift the next day at school pick up!

Definitely another vote for go and say you've forgotten card and present and will drop it at school- and make sure you do but it doesnt have to be expensive if money is tight.I think its rude to not turn up after accepting invitation. Its a bit late for dd to say she isnt bothered now although is there a chance shes saying that so you dont feel bad about not taking her or turning up with no gift?? We didnt have much money growing up and I often pretended I didnt want something to save face/not to upset my dm, kids are perceptive.

I would have said I forgot the card and present and give this week as like others have said the parent may have to pay for the place your child didn't use anyway

I once had a mare getting child to a party. Long story. So he went with no present. Parent at school next day thanked me for gift. 😳Honestly, children’s parties are usually chaotic. Doubt they will notice. And a late present is often nice for a child. They get swamped on the day, the lucky ones do anyway.

Go (say you forgot the gift) and get a gift afterwards, it's no big deal. If you don't have time to shop, a fiver in a card should do the trick.
Get your daughter to make a quick card?
Or, do you have anything new/unused that you could re-gift, eg a book? a toy?
I think it's important for the birthday child that people show up, unless there's a good reason (I don't think this is one). And surely if the parents knew you were low on funds, I'm sure they wouldn't even expect any gift.

I’d go and apologise for leaving the gift at home and say I’d bring it along on the school run. (Buying one the next day...) What did you do OP?

For those who haven't read the OP's update.

Her DD went to the party

Just say you were worried that your child was coming down with something so you gave the party a miss but will pop the card and pressy in next day ...

Take a card. My memory of birthday parties is so may gifts arriving all at once - I doubt if they will even realise you have not given one - they are usually a load of tat anyway.

I know it's a bit late now, but i would go to the party and say sorry, left the present at home. We fell out with a family who didn't show up to our kids' party, similar circumstances, but made up some shonky excuse at short notice.
FWIW my kids wouldn't have cared about the presents. they were mortified that their friends weren't there and they excuse was rubbish. If the Mum had been honest, we would have said don't worry about presents and given them a lift as well.

Those suggesting you use a cc or overdraft just make me wanna scream! ‘Forget’ the present and pop it in with daughter next week when you’ve been paid

Get DD to make a card and say that you ordered online and it's a)gone missing awaiting replacement b)not arrived on time c)been delivered to a neighbour who hasn't been in. Then, buy present on pay day and deliver asap.

Give your DD the option. If she's really not that bothered don't go.

If she is and you've no money till payday just speak to the mum on the quiet and explain you've no disposable income at the moment but you will make sure DD gives her a little something before they break up for Christmas and then buy her a selection pack.... any decent mother/human being wouldn't mind a jot.

As for those of you @Taleasoldastime90 suggesting she should go over her limit or use her credit card: you should be ashamed of yourself. Is this what you expect parents to do for your kids parties?
I'm flabbergasted..... utterly disgraceful attitude to encourage others into debt for material gain.

THE OP’S DD HAS BEEN TO THE PARTY!

Get your DD to make a card. Re-gift something you already have. Make something if you know how. Don’t get anything on a credit card or borrow money if you can’t afford to pay it back. It’s a kids party. Don’t get into debt over it. Loads of people are skint these days and it’s the run up to Christmas. If you can afford to buy a gift later in the month then you could do that instead. If not then don’t worry about it. The birthday boy/girl/child-without-gender will be more upset if their friend isn’t there. Just take DD to the party and let her enjoy it.