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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to think it's not something to be particularly proud of?

183 replies

MustAddToCV · 10/11/2019 00:49

Does anybody else think that some posters seem to feel that it is a particular personal achievement to be a longstanding MN member?

There are so many threads at the moment about how shit it is now with all these thick newbies posting, and how much better it was years ago. I see post after post from OPs saying they wouldn't have got this reaction back in the good ole' days.

I've been here for a good few years (though not as long as the people making these posts, I presume), but I don't feel my opinion is worth more than somebody that signed up yesterday.

Who cares how long you've been posting on this forum, honestly? It's not that deep.

But I see posters who I usually admire for their intelligence and clarity of thought post shit like this. And I think, maybe it's gone over my head and I'm missing something?

OP posts:
user764329056 · 10/11/2019 00:52

Totally agree, like there’s a hierarchy based on years of service, it’s just a bloody chat forum, nothing major

loudnoises1 · 10/11/2019 00:52

People just love to feel better than others in whatever way they can. I got ridiculed on here once for not knowing what all the classic mumsnet abbreviations were.

I also think there's an element too of the old guard of mumsnet just being allowed to spew whatever hateful shite they wanted but a lot of them are starting to get called out on it and they don't like it.

inwood · 10/11/2019 00:53

It's pathetic. It's not an old members club, it's an Internet forum. All the '14 years ago it wasn't like this' or 'it wasn't like this in the old days' bs grates on me incredibly.

GinAndBubbles · 10/11/2019 00:54

Preach! Couldn’t have put it better myself. I also notice how people must justify a name change to assure they’ve been ‘round a long time’... surely even if they joined just to make that post, it should t matter?!

KeepYourCup · 10/11/2019 00:56

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OwlBeThere · 10/11/2019 01:02

I’ve been using MN since 2004 and I do think it’s different. That’s not to say I think being around longer means your opinion is worth more or is more valid, because it doesn’t. But it is a very different place tk what it once was, which I think is the natural progression when a site has so many more members now. You lose a bit of the community feel as you don’t ‘know’ people like it once was, combined with a shift in culture plus of course a hefty pinch of the rose tinted glasses.
People don’t like change much as a whole so I can see why people don’t always like it. But cest la vie.

Screwtheclockchange · 10/11/2019 01:14

I've been on MN for about five years and been lurking for longer. I think the tone has changed abruptly for the worse recently: more spite, more casual racism, more narrow-mindedness about the poor etc.

However, that's different issue to all the whining about "wah, it's got really common on here and there are posters who can't spell!"

namechangealerttt · 10/11/2019 01:23

I have been a mostly lurker, sometimes poster for over 10 years, but haven't used it so much recently as kids are getting older and it is less relevant to my life. I love the 'evidence' people cite to prove they are long time users.

It used to always be penis beaker and mumsnet scarf, but recently dropped by and all the evidence had changed to obviously more recent threads. The new 'evidence' meant nothing to me.

Penis beaker was a great thread back in its day. Do people still even care about 'naice ham' or has everyone got real, we are all poorer and worse off due to brexit (or not) and all gone back to processed?

IWantADifferentName · 10/11/2019 01:25

I've been on MN for about five years and been lurking for longer. I think the tone has changed abruptly for the worse recently: more spite, more casual racism, more narrow-mindedness about the poor etc.

I’ve noticed that in the last few months there have been a lot more posts that apologise for or support men’s bad behaviour. I don’t know if that is because Netmums (which appealed to a different demographic of women) has been down or if MRAs are trolling more often.

The internet changes depending on the people using it, it is what you make of it. I do prefer more intelligent posters. I hate the ‘I have been here for years but name changed’ opening on so many posts. And I usually don’t pay attention to who is posting unless I really agree with what they have said and then I check their user name. And I do find that certain names come up again and again. It is nice to see that continuity (but it hasn’t stopped me from periodically name changing).

Mothership4two · 10/11/2019 01:27

That's horrid @KeepYourCup! I have seen posters comment on the OP's other threads, "well you say this now, but on your other threads you said this...." I find it a bit stalkerish. Unless they completely contradict their post.

Honeybee85 · 10/11/2019 01:29

@KeepYourCup

That’s really nasty! Surely it would put off most newbies to ever post again.

RainingFrogsAndHats · 10/11/2019 01:34

I disagree.

I've been on MN for quite a while, but wasn't around when it was "young", so things like naice ham, penis beaker, pom bears, I've read but not in real time.

But from what I've read of the threads when MN was new(ish), there was quite a community vibe.... Posters did "know" each other in a way they don't now (because we all NC regularly because of the hacks that have happened over the last few year, so even old regulars aren't especially recognisable). From what I've read, it was vibrant and sassy and could be pretty harsh, but not in the same way it is now.

so I do understand mourning that loss.

Shooturlocalmethdealer · 10/11/2019 01:35

Shouldnt matter if you have been here for 10 years or 10 days.
Noone should have "senority" on here. Or feel they do because they have been here longer than someone else.
Isnt this a forum for advice and support?
Isnt that what matters most?
I notice alot of, "Didnt you post before" blah blah blah.
Who cares. Is there a limit?? NC if you want to. You dont have to tell anyone it doesnt matter.

Original poster
MustAddToCV · 10/11/2019 11:15

I do think the male apologists are really irritating, I'll grant you. I'm not sure that's an excuse for the arrogance/ superiority shown by some people, just due to the fact they've been here 10 years plus. It's not a PHD or a professional qualification.

OP posts:
FizzyGreenWater · 10/11/2019 11:28

I don't think the point of these posts are for people to boast that they've been posting for years but to complain about how the site has changed, so to do so they kind of have to say they were here donkey's ago and it didn't used to be like this etc. etc. FWIW they have a point, but that's the evolution of sites for you.

elmosducks · 10/11/2019 12:21

I've been on here for a decade but I change names every six months for my peace of mind

Hingeandbracket · 10/11/2019 12:24

YANBU - this debate rages all the time though, probably always has (I have been around a good few years). It's a bit silly really, like people saying they liked Ed Sheran before anyone else had heard of him - so what?

Branster · 10/11/2019 12:37

I signed up years ago, had a very long break and there is marked difference on how angry and irritated lots of posts are now. Whereas it used to be strictly about advice and understanding, now there’s a lot of harsh judgment, swearing, swift dismissal, and an underlying male hate. Completely different feel than 16 years ago and it feels like you have to self censor all the time in case someone somewhere gets offended or irritated by your comments.
It’s not better or worse, it’s different that’s all and maybe some veterans miss the easier communication from the past and they see, reassurance that others feel the same. I don’t think people boast about being here for decades.
I’ve always preferred the safe topics because that’s what interests me personally and maybe I’m just shallow like that (Style, pets, house ...) and I can actually understand what’s being said. Feminism or Brexit topics, which are newer, don’t make much sense to me so I avoid like the plague especially as most posters are angry all the time and self professed experts and it makes me feel very uneasy.

TubbyMcTat77 · 10/11/2019 12:38

Yes it's tragic. Certainly a sense of superiority from some posters which is beyond daft on an anonymous Internet forum.

WorraLiberty · 10/11/2019 12:42

YANBU

I'm sure some people see MN's rise in popularity, as some sort of 'invasion of their sacred space'.

Yes it's changed a lot in the almost 9 years I've been using MN but it's a lot more diverse now and I think that's a good thing.

Of course there are some annoying posters and trolls but that's always been the case. There are just more of them now.

Par for the course really.

iklboo · 10/11/2019 13:02

I've been here since it was all fields and I walked God's dog on them. It HAS changed and there's a wider demographic but I think that's a good thing. Unless you're a trolling twat you've got just as much right to post your opinion as the Mouldies do (don't get me started on that series of threads).

KilljoysDutch · 10/11/2019 15:25

It was a clique bitchfest back in its day. You had to wait for the arrival of senior posters to see what direction the thread was heading in. Newbies were ignored unless they could be mocked.

It's nicer now.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 10/11/2019 15:28

It was very cliquey back in the day. If you weren't one of the main crowd your posts would just be ignored. It was far funnier and more entertaining back then though, and there was a lot less trolling.

x2boys · 10/11/2019 15:45

I have been here nearly ten years ,and posters were saying than it was so much better years ago ,I don't get the adulation that some posters seem to have ,they can say no wrong and even if they say something mundane or post a not very different well.thought out comment other posters fall all over themselves to tell how marve!loud how insightful their comments are it's not as bad as it used to be but it still happens .

Straycatstrut · 10/11/2019 16:01

Same absolutely everywhere you're a newbie amongst long standing members of whatever. I've only been on MN what 5 months? And joined after my ex put me through hell and I was thinking about hanging myself, hoping for a bit of support. I have social anxiety and it's my only interaction with adults. I try and give advice and support back. Should I not have?

Luckily one of my boys joined a third into his school year, brand new primary school and was welcomed with smiles and excitement by his whole class, majority had been there 4 years. Same happened when a new girl joined the year after. DS was as excited as everyone else. I'm guessing it's not like that at Secondary school.

When and why do people get so scared of new people?!