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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to think it's not something to be particularly proud of?

183 replies

MustAddToCV · 10/11/2019 00:49

Does anybody else think that some posters seem to feel that it is a particular personal achievement to be a longstanding MN member?

There are so many threads at the moment about how shit it is now with all these thick newbies posting, and how much better it was years ago. I see post after post from OPs saying they wouldn't have got this reaction back in the good ole' days.

I've been here for a good few years (though not as long as the people making these posts, I presume), but I don't feel my opinion is worth more than somebody that signed up yesterday.

Who cares how long you've been posting on this forum, honestly? It's not that deep.

But I see posters who I usually admire for their intelligence and clarity of thought post shit like this. And I think, maybe it's gone over my head and I'm missing something?

OP posts:
getthroughthisgrr · 11/11/2019 22:20

How do you know when you joined? I'm pretty sure I joined a verrrrrry long time ago for one specific post about childcare costs, only started posting or reading name changing regularly in the last year. I remember it being pretty hostile then too. It's all so easy in theory.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 11/11/2019 22:55

It was the Zombie journey that really, truly, made me aware how much this forum has given me - gave her, and all who need it.

I love the wisdom of those who have been here for so much longer, and so appreciate those who speak out and speak up - AnyFucker that totally includes you! I also love the new(er) voices, and am grateful to be here, every day.

CAG12 · 12/11/2019 07:26

@LineEyes99 I know what you mean

CAG12 · 12/11/2019 07:27

And tbh its prompted me to stay away

NoSauce · 12/11/2019 09:02

@LineEyes99 I know what you mean

What do you mean? Strangely LineEyes99 didn’t come back to clarify Hmm

YoungHun · 12/11/2019 09:18

Haha yeah the Dog named after a user. Weird Shit! Yeah it was far more clique in the past. I wasn't in the cool crowd and wasn't invited to the new site :)

However I feel it was much, much better in the old days, so so much anger on here now. I rarely post now, but posted in AIBU recently, over a very serious dilemma.

Fuck me the abuse I got!

Took ages separating the wheat from the chaff. When you get to the wheat though, the true nuggets of advice and information is like nowhere else.

The thing that makes me smile about these angry keyboard warriors is I know they wouldn't say boo to a goose in real life!!

I feel desperately sorry for them actually, if that is all they have in their life.

And the comedy, it used to be sooooo funny a thread could suddenly diversify into some weird tangent that had you crying with laughter.

Do I feel superior that I've been on here such along time? No, just sad at how the world is changing, and online politeness seems dead :(

Simkin · 12/11/2019 10:20

I would bloody love to call my dog 'anyfucker' though. Lucky I don't have one. Can you imagine walks in the park?!

BIWI · 12/11/2019 10:29

Some of us have been here a long time and don't want to namechange. (Unless for exceptional/specific reasons).

I hate the bashing of 'oldies', especially when that awful phrase 'Mumsnet Royalty' is used. People always use it to hint at who they're slagging off, like some posters on this thread. I don't consider myself morally superior in any way because I've been here so long and don't change my name!

MN has changed - it's inevitable given the size of the site and how it's grown since its inception. Personally I think it's not a change for the better - but I'm still here and still enjoying the bits of the site I choose to use.

But what has never changed is the whole thing about newbies complaining about being excluded by the oldies, and saying how cliquey the site is.

NoSauce · 12/11/2019 10:36

Biwi you’ve always been a voice of reason to me and someone that I usually agree with but I do think where MN royalty is concerned there was a time when it was glaringly obvious that some of them did take over on some threads. It was uncomfortable to watch. Some of them were twats.

ButDoYouAvocado · 12/11/2019 10:57

I've got no idea when I joined 🤣

MotherofOne · 12/11/2019 11:36

@getthroughthisgrr
"How do you know when you joined?"

I don't know if you can, but if you go into My Mumsnet/ Settings you can see your system ID which tells you what 'number' you were in the sign ups, so I guess you can see if you're in the first 5,000, 10,000 etc

Moomin8 · 12/11/2019 11:39

MN is very different from how it was in 2004. I used to feel that you could have an alternative point of view without people responding in ways which are just plain nasty. I suppose it's because the site is so much bigger than it used to be.

So personally don't think it's about a hierarchy as such...

MotherofOne · 12/11/2019 11:39

I think the newbie/oldie thing is just a bit like the current social media thing calling older people 'boomers' - it's a bit dismissive of the older generation and a refusal to believe they might have anything of value to contribute!

BIWI · 12/11/2019 11:44

@NoSauce Yes, I agree with you. But the whole Moldies thing did away with most of those posters, which was definitely a good thing. I used to hate it when someone would cry 'to MSN!' and they'd all disappear to chat to each other, making it very clear that the rest of the posters on that thread were intentionally being excluded.

These days I'm sure there are tons of different places on the 'net where MN is being discussed - FB, private forums, Reddit, etc - but at least people don't announce that they're off there to talk about MNetters/without inviting them.

Oakmaiden · 12/11/2019 11:58

"How do you know when you joined?"

I advance searched my name, and then changed the dates until I found my first post. I know I was reading for some time before that, though, bt a precise date isn't necessary, I guess!

JoyceDivision · 12/11/2019 12:43

@AnyFucker

No, but please but the time and effort into pulling apart other posters comments I'd you feel they are about you and not just mine.

x2boys · 12/11/2019 16:21

Well I don't know which date I joined but I know I was heavily pregnant with ds2 who is nine and a half so I'm guessing nearly 10 years .

JoyceDivision · 12/11/2019 16:53

Sorry, my post was intendedfor@Antigone

Care to reply?

Schuyler · 12/11/2019 17:05

This place does get trolled a lot more than it used to. It’s a fact. I don’t know if it’s representative of general change of the internet over the years. It probably is.....but sometimes, HQ give too many posters the benefit of the doubt.
I’ve been here about 8 years, so not forever and ever. I do remember the cliques and it wasn’t particularly friendly, at times. The in jokes got very annoying.
Disablism and racism isn’t shot down as quickly as it used to be which makes me sad because I loved MN for that.

Things change, for better or worse.

AnnaNimmity · 12/11/2019 17:20

Well people state that they are a longerstanding member because there are so many trolls these days and it's meant to denote some level of trustworthiness I think isn't it?

I have been here since 2003 and the site has changed alot. it's bigger for a start, so many changes are unavoidable.

You did know everyone even if you didn't post all the time, and it seemed funnier. It was definitely more middle class in those days too I think.

Today? There are more trolls definitely. People who name change (sometimes on the same thread) and who post different stories depending on their whim that day. Awful given that this is a place for support (to give or get) and there's no point in lying - why lie on a thread if you truly want support? Hmm

Also more abuse apologists. Which is incredible seeing this is a site for women to support other women. Being told you deserve abuse, or you're lying or you need to move on. But that says more about the person who is saying that crap than anything.

For the most part it's still a helpful site if you do need support from people who have been through the same as you. And for many people on the relationship threads, MN remains a lifesaver. Sometimes literally.

HotSauceCommittee · 12/11/2019 17:24

MN was much more hilarious a few years ago; the wittier regulars who knew each other knew how far they could go when taking the piss and being outrageous, but the downside is, you get some, the less amused and amusing who were VERY invested.
I disagreed with one prolific MNetter and got such vile abuse from one of her followers. It actually made me stay on thread to argue my point.
The thought then occurred that I’d wasted a beautiful summer evening arguing with someone I didn’t know, who’s opinion I didn’t value and who’s hatred shocked me.
I left for three years and came back conscious not to over invest.
It’s less funny now, but folks are less over invested so swings and roundabouts for me.

NoSauce · 12/11/2019 17:51

It’s mad how people are saying it’s not changed. It’s far more vicious now. There’s some brutal responses these days, a lot more frothing and bitterness too.

I do agree that there’s more trolls than years ago and I do wonder whether many of these angry posters aren’t genuine but here to get some attention.

iklboo · 12/11/2019 18:14

There was a lot less of the

'Ouch I've got an ingrown toenail' (posts in Health)

'YBVVVVVU. You should be thankful you've got toes. Some people would give their right arm to have toes'

ShagMeRiggins · 12/11/2019 18:59

Some people would give their right arm to have toes

Grin
Christinayangtwistedsister · 12/11/2019 20:47

AF

There is always some arse wanting to put the boot in