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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

...to think it's not something to be particularly proud of?

183 replies

MustAddToCV · 10/11/2019 00:49

Does anybody else think that some posters seem to feel that it is a particular personal achievement to be a longstanding MN member?

There are so many threads at the moment about how shit it is now with all these thick newbies posting, and how much better it was years ago. I see post after post from OPs saying they wouldn't have got this reaction back in the good ole' days.

I've been here for a good few years (though not as long as the people making these posts, I presume), but I don't feel my opinion is worth more than somebody that signed up yesterday.

Who cares how long you've been posting on this forum, honestly? It's not that deep.

But I see posters who I usually admire for their intelligence and clarity of thought post shit like this. And I think, maybe it's gone over my head and I'm missing something?

OP posts:
Icecreamsoda99 · 10/11/2019 16:16

Well people have mentioned there was a hierarchy and cliques in time gone by, I do wonder when posters moan about the "good old days" it's because with an influx of new people and a membership explosion they feel their power has slipped and they are no longer held in high regard. I remember reading that some posters use to suck up to other "queen bee" posters with one even naming their new dog after one of them Confused

x2boys · 10/11/2019 16:52

I think I vaguely remember hearing about that @icecreamsoda99/that's some adulation!Grin

Icecreamsoda99 · 10/11/2019 17:00

@x2boys glad it wasn't just some crazy mumsnet dream I had! Grin

Sagradafamiliar · 10/11/2019 17:12

I'm guessing the posters who have been here longer than me are probably quite a bit older. That's life.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 10/11/2019 17:15

YANBU, I hate it when people derail threads into old nostalgic shite. It's like a bitchy cliquey playground.

I joined MN 6 years ago when my DS was newborn and have had 3 or 4 name changes since then. So I've been around a while but certainly not as long as some! I never paid any attention to who was an original member and who was a new member back then anyway. The way some posters suck up to some of the long standing prolific posters is so embarrassing.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 10/11/2019 17:15

Mean Girls never change, and they tend to attract a following of weaker personalities. I can usually spot a MG clique forming, and I move on sharpish. I didn't have any time for those people at school and I'm not about to start now.

VaguelySkeletal · 10/11/2019 17:16

It was very cliquey back in the day. If you weren't one of the main crowd your posts would just be ignored. It was far funnier and more entertaining back then though, and there was a lot less trolling.

I agree with most of this, except that only chatty posts were ever ignored.

Questions, requests for help or advice, distress, they were never ignored. Similarly, expressions of joy or of pride in an achievement were never ignored. There was even a way of searching for threads with only an OP, and posters used regularly to search out unanswered threads, either to answer them or to bump them up into Active.

PlasticPatty · 10/11/2019 17:23

Seven years. I recognise a few names but I've never been part of any MN group. They used to be horrendous. Someone upthread describes them following her thread to thread, ripping her to shreds. That happened to me, too, though I wasn't dismayed by it. Some of the 'names' here, I have no respect for at all, no matter how much sycophants laud them. I don't like huns and hubbys or people being told to pander to men. I don't think MN is just 'advice and support', I think it's light entertainment. Some posters are very witty.

LimeRedBanana · 10/11/2019 17:32

Saying that MN has changed, and isn't like it was back in the day - isn't the same as believing you have special status because you've been here a long time.

Why are these two things being conflated?

Iamnotagoddess · 10/11/2019 17:34

@KeepYourCup

I hate this - it’s like get a fucking life you sad sad person.

MrsBungle · 10/11/2019 17:41

I’ve been here about 11 years and I don’t really notice much difference in responses to posts other than it’s much less cliquey which I prefer. Posters have always been very direct in my experience! The site feels, to me, much bigger now with more posters rather than just the same names appearing over and over. I like that.

HeckyPeck · 10/11/2019 17:57

I've been on MN for about five years and been lurking for longer. I think the tone has changed abruptly for the worse recently: more spite, more casual racism, more narrow-mindedness about the poor etc.

Agreed. Particularly in AIBU.

KatherineJaneway · 10/11/2019 18:20

I also notice how people must justify a name change to assure they’ve been ‘round a long time’... surely even if they joined just to make that post, it should t matter?!

It's because people troll hunt. You must have seen it the 'Interesting first post Hmm' comments. People need to justify their name change so the thread stays on topic.

scittlescatter · 10/11/2019 18:22

I agree op.

There are certain posters who have been here for a long time, and there is a certain sheep mentality as well surrounding them. Whatever they say goes, and if someone dates to disagree with them, then others will pile on to abuse the poster.

I've seen it too much. It's like they haven't grown out of playground bullying

SteelRiver · 10/11/2019 18:33

I agree, OP. Now & then I feel that some posters look down on the opinions/posts/spelling/grammar of new posters, step-parents, low earners, non-professionals etc etc. Its like they're just looking to have a dig to fuel their own superiority complex.

Oakmaiden · 10/11/2019 18:35

It has changed, though. Back when all these were green fields there were far fewer posters and people name changed less often, so you really got to know people. And when you really get to know people there is less pointless bitching and spitefulness, and a lot more understanding of people's unique perspectives, because we knew the people and their unique perspectives very well. And no advertising.

It is now something completely different, and in some ways that is sad because we are all now impersonal and there is far less community and far more keyboard warriorness, and in other ways it is great as there are so many different perspectives and there is always something interesting being discussed by people far cleverer than me and with viewpoints I would never have otherwise come across.

MN is a completely different animal from when I joined. It doesn't make me better than you, or my opinion more worthy just because I have been here long enough to say that. But at the same time my point of view is not completely irrelevant just cos I have been here ages.

Don't even know how long I have been here. It used to say on one of the settings pages, but I can't see it now. But, well, I would imagine it must have been pre 2003...

Fairylightsandwine · 10/11/2019 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MepsiPax · 10/11/2019 18:41

KeepYourcup Who was it?! Please tell!

Oakmaiden · 10/11/2019 18:43

Awww.. just advanced searched myself, and my first ever post was Fri 28-Feb-03 14:50:18

I am a bit proud of that.

That said, I think I have had a fairly low profile in the past 10 years or so, so would never spring to mind for anyone thinking of Mumsnet Royalty. Despite having the same name for almost all that time.

That is a phrase I haven't heard for a long time, actually. MN Royalty. It was a big thing a while back- - but seems to happen far less often now. Which is good.

PortiaCastis · 10/11/2019 18:47

Paaaa haaa haaa naming a dog after an mn poster is that real surely not, wtf is wrong with people.
Was the mutt called your majesty?

firawla · 10/11/2019 19:10

I’ve been around about ten years although not really a prolific poster, but whenever I see really old posts bumped and I’m on it, my old posts were always full of so many abbreviations and text typing (I was quite young when I had my first kids, that’s just how I typed then) so to be honest all the people saying “we never had that back in my day, it must be those nethuns” are full of crap anyway! Being joined for longer just means your kids are probably older, that’s all - hardly a big deal. Yanbu

PortiaCastis · 10/11/2019 19:13

Do you get a blue peter badge for being here a long time if so where's mine.

UnaCorda · 10/11/2019 19:43

Years ago I posted looking for advice and had a name change fail, she advance searched me and outed me on all my other threads, ripped me to shreds and cheered on others who joined in. It was horrible.

Wonder who that could have been. Hmm

Can't stand people assuming the position of "forum police" or similar, as if they are paragons of virtue themselves.

Pukeworthy · 10/11/2019 19:46

I've been floating around here for over 8yrs and havent really noticed the change of tone a lot of threads talk about tbh.

Pardonwhat · 10/11/2019 19:58

Fairylightsandwine

What poster is that?
I rarely recognise names and I can’t say I’ve noticed this although I’ve seen people hint at this behaviour before.
I must concentrate harder Blush

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