Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

...to think it's not something to be particularly proud of?

183 replies

MustAddToCV · 10/11/2019 00:49

Does anybody else think that some posters seem to feel that it is a particular personal achievement to be a longstanding MN member?

There are so many threads at the moment about how shit it is now with all these thick newbies posting, and how much better it was years ago. I see post after post from OPs saying they wouldn't have got this reaction back in the good ole' days.

I've been here for a good few years (though not as long as the people making these posts, I presume), but I don't feel my opinion is worth more than somebody that signed up yesterday.

Who cares how long you've been posting on this forum, honestly? It's not that deep.

But I see posters who I usually admire for their intelligence and clarity of thought post shit like this. And I think, maybe it's gone over my head and I'm missing something?

OP posts:
Hepzibar · 10/11/2019 20:27

I've been on here for about 10 years. It has changed in that time. There were more recognisable posters, It had a more community feel.

However, it was very cliquey and you could often be ignored on threads until you 'established' yourself. There were constant references to posters 'oh I haven't seen XYZ for a while' 'ABC's son is ...' Wait until DEF comes on ' And there was the famous NYE carry on.

I've done a search on my first username and was amazed at my responses! I was quite helpful back then with lots of posts and lots of advice.

Now there is too much derailing of threads with shite and trivia, bloody Gifs (?) poems, song lyric suggestions to 'help' you through your trauma. It really irritates me. No wonder some posters don't return to their threads.

Caaarrrl · 10/11/2019 20:29

Is it a poster whose name is shortened to initials?

ThatMuppetShow · 10/11/2019 20:36

I think the fact that most posters name-change so much more often has improved the tone massively.

I don't really read about the ridiculous "MN royalty" anymore, whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean.

Some long-term special bore status have migrated to reddit where they can bully and bitch as much as they want and it has cleared up MN a little bit.

Name-changing following the various issues and scandals has really improved everything. Not knowing how long posters have been on here is really a bonus too, despite the numerous requests to get a badge of seniority nonsense.

LadyTabasco · 10/11/2019 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Iamnotagoddess · 10/11/2019 20:59

Hmm I know who you mean.

I have been here 11 years but constantly name change due to people “recognising me” from previous posts and bringing all the incorrect assumptions about me from those threads onto the new one like I have committed some kind of crime Hmm

Really really pisses me off that posters think they “know” you and your life from things you have posted about here. It’s so one dimensional and you cannot give the entire back story of your life.

I have had posters suggest IABU not to want to move my children, life and job 200 miles away to be nearer my step children (when OH is in the forces anyway) or unreasonable to not be able to buy a larger house.

People have also alluded to DH sexually abusing his daughter because she bet wets.

I have also come into contact with some very kind people here too.

CAG12 · 10/11/2019 21:00

Anyone referring to themselves or anyone as 'MN Royalty' can quite frankly fuck off.

Ive just read one thread and in it was one poster who was lamenting about the good ol days. It had nothing to do with the OP, it just made that particular oldie look like a bit of a twit.

I agree OP

JoyceDivision · 10/11/2019 21:10

I have an idea who fairylights might mean, I've pottered on MN a long time and find there is a poster who stands out by a mile for comments that can be abrupt, and stating the obvious with no value or guidance contained yet but seems to have other posters fawning over them.

jlgsy94 · 10/11/2019 21:13

It's stupid, childish and pathetic. It operates much like a real life clique would. I wouldn't worry about it though, it could be the only way for a sorry sack of shit to bully others to make themself feel better.

ThatMuppetShow · 10/11/2019 21:13

I thought about that about a poster with a male username, but that poster got absolutely bollocked on a few threads so I changed my mind Grin

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 11/11/2019 07:45

I suppose only in Internet forum circles is regularly posting on an Internet forum for more than a decade considered to be a good thing 🤷‍♀️.

If I ever wanted a sanity check that I wasn’t being unreasonable, the views of people who have spent such a significant amount of their time forum posting that they become ‘royalty’ are not exactly the views I would like to canvas.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 11/11/2019 09:59

The people I choose to have in my real life are wise, intelligent, kind, unpretentious, and of the unshowy variety. If I applied the same filters on MN there would be some significant gaps.

There are definitely some negative elements around and yes, they can dictate the tone of a thread, but there are so many other voices here to enjoy, new and old. Longevity proves nothing.

NoSauce · 11/11/2019 10:06

It has changed though. It’s full of dull threads with posters moaning about shit they shouldn’t be moaning about, slagging of their in laws for the most pathetic reasons, moaning about their partners but aren’t willing to do anything about it.

So many posters FUMMIN, RAGING and LIVID over jack shit.

And far too many of these bloody irritating threads.

BadLad · 11/11/2019 10:09

So many posters FUMMIN, RAGING and LIVID over jack shit.

Nobody ever gets incandescent with rage any more.

EskewedBeef · 11/11/2019 10:15

I think it's sometimes used as an excuse for behaving like a twat - "Back in the golden days, MNers had a sense of humour/wouldn't have mentioned the obvious flaw in what I'm saying/wouldn't have bothered arguing with me because I was MN royalty... It's not my fault you don't respect me as much as I'd like you to."

notacooldad · 11/11/2019 10:23

I found MN by chance one night in 2003.
It has changed but nothing stays the same forever, it has naturally evolved as things do otherwise it would have become dated and irrelevant.
The main thing I have noticed is like NoSauce said on their thread is how angry people are. I see post start with 'I'm fuming' and I read them and think, 'blimey, really?'
There has always been a bit of an edge to MN,especially in the replies on AIBU and I do think it has got nastier as time has gone on and that is something I don't like.

Just because people have been here a long time doesn't give any one any kind of benefit. It is after all just an anonymous chat forum.

Aventurine · 11/11/2019 10:31

I think there has always been nastiness and people being roasted on AIBU. I've never dared start a thread there.
I think people saying they've been around for ages and name changed is to avoid troll hunting.
I think there are more people with Daily Mail style attitudes to poor people now.
I've noticed the same as Fairylightsandwine about one long term poster being fawned over.

Hollyivywillow · 11/11/2019 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/11/2019 10:47

I haven’t been around long enough to see these changes. There is a current, active thread, where the op is blaming the posters for talking crap, when the answers were down to her poorly worded op. She’s been really patronising and rude. I can understand why some people are upset.

NoSauce · 11/11/2019 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Gillian1980 · 11/11/2019 10:49

Yanbu.

It makes bugger all difference as far as I’m concerned.

ThatMuppetShow · 11/11/2019 10:50

What I find a bit scary are posters who genuinely get upset or take MN seriously - on things like YABU or opinion-based. Most of us are just here for a bit of a laugh, aren't we all? Who gets angry about an anonymous forum?

egontoste · 11/11/2019 11:03

There still are cliques on here. On occasion I've noticed a thread that's downright peculiar and I haven't a clue what the posters are on about (although they clearly do) so I've posted and asked them, because I'm baffled.

Posting on a thread like that if you aren't one of the 'in-crowd' is the best way of being completely ignored that I have ever come across Confused

Nanny0gg · 11/11/2019 11:05

I think it's changed too.

But that's a reflection of how forums and social media have changed rather than a proprietal 'It wasn't like that in my day, therefore it's now shit' kinda way.

Astrabees · 11/11/2019 11:08

I think it depends on which areas you post in .I've never found people in Style and Beauty, Property, Pets and Home Decoration anything other than helpful and friendly. AIBU and Relationships are another matter but really you are in very odd territory in most cases if you need to discuss your family, partner or other similar matters with a selection of strangers on the internet, and you will come across some empathy but also some moral zealots and people who are just messing about with your emotions in their responses.
As (and I'm not proud of it) someone who has posted on here for 14 years I can say things are certainly no worse than they have ever been, and a couple of the MN "royalty" are every bit as obnoxious now as they were then.

notacooldad · 11/11/2019 11:09

Posting on a thread like that if you aren't one of the 'in-crowd' is the best way of being completely ignored that I have ever come across Confused

Absolutely!
I've long lost count of the time I have made a comment, suggestion or offered an opinion and had no response, yet someone else posts the same thing several times after me and everyone says ' I agree with( who ever the hell it was!) It used to annoy me and I wanted to ask if my typed words weren't showing on their screen but now I find it funny!