...to think it's not something to be particularly proud of?

[MustAddToCV]

Does anybody else think that some posters seem to feel that it is a particular personal achievement to be a longstanding MN member?

There are so many threads at the moment about how shit it is now with all these thick newbies posting, and how much better it was years ago. I see post after post from OPs saying they wouldn't have got this reaction back in the good ole' days.

I've been here for a good few years (though not as long as the people making these posts, I presume), but I don't feel my opinion is worth more than somebody that signed up yesterday.

Who cares how long you've been posting on this forum, honestly? It's not that deep.

But I see posters who I usually admire for their intelligence and clarity of thought post shit like this. And I think, maybe it's gone over my head and I'm missing something?

Penis beaker was fucking shit

People saying there is more racism/judging/spitefulness etc, I do agree but I think MN is just a representation of wider society and the changes within that as well. Not good.

AIBU really doesn't help though, I remember when it was set up and it was only because AIBU was such a good shorthand and so many threads were AIBU problems (in the strict, original, genuine question sense). Now there is an acceptance that it is the "bear pit" of MN and normal rules of being polite etc don't apply, and this leaks into the rest of the site.

I have also found that FWR is my favourite place for intelligent, rational discussion and genuinely don't understand why people think it's angry and full of hate filled posters - it really really isn't - especially compared to AIBU! But I don't want to derail.

I have to say I am new to mn and it's helpful to me. I've had difficult times and felt better when I have read posts. I can also say that some posts I just do not get! I would of liked to have known about it years ago but that's a different thread. Thank you to all the kind mumsnetters is been a pleasure reading your posts.

Of course MN has changed and grown hugely.

I do miss 'knowing' other posters more, and also miss the more thoughtful and nuanced debate on lots of news, politics, social issues etc.

I often used to come here to read reasoned debate on current affairs etc which doesn't seem to happen as much any more. Debate is definitely more polarized and less in-depth, but perhaps that just reflects society, unfortunately.

I definitely don't miss the dreadful 'who's your favourite MNetter?' threads though, or the fawning over MN Royalty.

Ten years ago, my first post on here was to respond to a question about a particular method to help babies sleep which you could buy online. I had used it and found the post when I was googling something about it.

The responses were absolutely vile. Anybody who gave a positive review of it was accused of working for the company, and how neglectful sleep training was. A monumental pile on. No different to how it is today.

I NC regularly for various reasons. I can't understand why anyone would be proud of their status as a long time poster.

The thing I've noticed more since I was first here are, more posts which have nothing to do with issues to do with raising children. Plenty of troll like posts trying to out do each other with alleged CF stories, all looking for a vote for classics or trying to be picked up by the tabloids, but far fewer about problems to do with raising a family. Of course, the whole site is flooded by troll posts so often people might actually want advice but know that posting about anything remotely sensitive is a bad idea.

The whole penis beaker thing was frankly ridiculous.

Will also add, the way people respond and talk about not liking the newcomers who think, speak, react differently to what MN expects, how MN should be, what is acceptable, actually turns my stomach. Excluding and bullying one group because they aren't like you, isn't acceptable in society, but apparently entirely ok on MN.

The random thread titles with ‘I miss zombie ☹️‘ or ‘I miss Maryz’ were annoying. That’s no slight to those posters, I have no idea who they are.M

They don’t happen that much anymore.

@MintyMabel yes there was recently a thread where OP made a few spag faux pas ( should of, seen as etc ) and the giggly way posters made obscure jokes about the OP were disgusting. As if the OP was too dumb to understand they were mocking her without being explicit.

I tend to just let things like this pass me by, I find MN a useful forum and a good distraction when stuck at home and my DC are napping - I’m pretty dense when it comes to cliques and the like. Have noticed a bit more SPAG policing which gets boring (if not downright rude) have been subject to a pile on because my opinion was very different from that of the majority of a thread, so I bowed out and considered it a lesson learned.

I honestly can’t remember how long I’ve been a lurker/user but can’t find the energy to get worked up about a lot of the moaning from long standing users or new ones about each other, just makes me think of the long-standing generational arguments which just make me exasperated.

That said, with most forums new users are a good thing and they are bound to happen, as new generations are finding the site the communication will change, standards will change in line with the majority of frequent posters and when events occur in the real world it will then affect the types of posts made to certain areas of the site that corresponds to the subject matter. I’ve seen this happen on many sites I’ve used over the years but I can’t bring myself to get wound up over it

MintMabel the baby sleep thing wasn't anything to do with Gina Ford was it? Because that was a gigantic (and legal!) issue for MN around that time I think so the debate was probably particularly heated!

I do wonder though (and this isn't meant in a snarky way but genuine question!) if you dislike things so much here that it turns your stomach - and this isn't just a question for you - I wonder why people in general who are so negative and think it's so terrible and trolly still come here?

I think if I felt like that I just wouldn't bother anymore, but for me the good outweighs the bad, even though I detest the SPag corrections and would like to see those posts deleted in the way personal attacks (which is what it feels like for me) are deleted.

I also think a lot of people don't always report the trolling or bad behaviour but then say how terrible it is. it's always worth reporting as (IME, and certainly on FWR which is very closely watched by outsiders) MNHQ will always delete something dodgy fairly quickly.

I spelt your name wrongly, sorry

the baby sleep thing wasn't anything to do with Gina Ford was it?

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles No, not Gina Ford.

I do wonder though (and this isn't meant in a snarky way but genuine question!) if you dislike things so much here that it turns your stomach

That one part of it turns my stomach. But there are more posts on MN than that.

Antigon - Zombie was a lovely lady who very bravely, and with great humour, fought a losing battle with breast cancer. She'd had a very hard life but was always full of hope, cheer and good advice. She sadly died almost three years ago now but lots of people remember her spirit. I do miss her. She was a good friend.

Is there a way to find out when we registered? I signed up and lurked for ages before ever posting. I think. Don’t consider myself superior to anyone due to longevity.

I've been on here 12 years (bloody hell) and people were saying how much better it was before even then.

One thing that is markedly different is the many posters who are quite obviously paid to post - either political schills or selling something. After the EU referendum I suggested they should put a warning at the top of the politics boards but they would not.

Everyone should take everything anyone says on here with a pinch of salt (except the housekeeping tips, they are normally golden)!

I wonder what it is about the ego of some Mumsneters that they need to mention their longevity. I've been a member a long time but frequently name change so no one would know. Also have periods of inactivity when real life is full on.

The only thing I've noticed is more aggressive trolling over the years and take my hat off to the night watch team and the admins for their hard work.

Penis beaker was a great thread back in its day

A link to that made its way to Aus forums and is the thread that drew me here lol

I have been here since dinosaurs roamed the earth and I quite agree that that doesn't give me any greater rights over someone who registered yesterday. However, I am allowed to comment that I have felt significant changes in the last couple of years not all of which are helpful. Obviously I'm a lot older than when I first signed up and perhaps I don't like change but I don't feel that this is the place that offered so much support, fun and encouragement to people. The sheer lack of joy in some responses, the fun-sponges who can't get the idea of just joshing nicely. It's when people had to put light-hearted at the start of what was OBVIOUSLY a light-heard post that the rot set in.
and Penis Beaker is one of the least funny things I've read on this site.

Antigon
Zombie also left a fund for Woolly Hugs.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/woolly_hugs/3062671-Zombie-and-Woolly-Hugs-ALL-very-welcome-to-join-us-come-and-find-out-about-her-legacy-of-Candy-s-Hugs

Woolly hugs are blankets knitted and crocheted for people facing illness, bereavement or other challenges.

This is one of the sides of MN that isn’t always visible.
AIBU has become a real fight club and the politicisation is awful. Other bits are still like when there were fields.
It’s not new posters per se it’s more posters as the site is better known.

Im.a newbie!

Whats peanis beaker?!

*penis

I think one thing people forget is that almost everyone is a newbie to someone. I’ve been posting for three years on and off, so am an old hand in the eyes of someone who joined last month. To someone who has been here ten years, I’m the new one. More than one person in this thread has said they’ve been here for 19 or 20 years - would there be be much of a distinction between how they see people who’ve been here five years or five months?

I agree with those you say it’s what you say, rather than how long you’ve been saying it for, that counts. The only time I really find myself annoyed with newcomers is when someone wants to criticise everything about the forum three posts in - like the woman saying ‘Stop the nasty swearing!’ the other day. Why use a forum that allows swearing if you’re so offended by it? I find the whole DH, DD, DNDN business annoying personally, but it’s been around much longer than I have, so it’s not my place to tell people not to do it.

@CAG12 It's in Classics. "Do you dunk your penis?" I didn't rate it either but it's apparently, well, "Classic".

Totally agree, you get this kind of attitude everywhere I.e especially work places with people who have been there for years

Years ago I posted looking for advice and had a name change fail, she advance searched me and outed me on all my other threads, ripped me to shreds and cheered on others who joined in. It was horrible

Are people insinuating this evil witch poster was me ? Anybody who takes that much notice of my posts would, whether I am marmite to you or not, acknowledge that really isn't my style.

Can the original complainant, or any of the bandwagon jumpers, provide evidence of it being me please.