Am I being unfair on my husband?

[Crowtakingabath]

Husband and I are young- early 30s and the main point of argument has always been careers.

I am extremely ambitious and a higher earner and my husband- despite being older- isn't. I have no intention of ever stopping working but I would like him to catch up to me.

He works in academia (limited financial prospects) and sometimes says he would like to start his own business, then he says he won't be able to fund research to get the IP, then says he feels undervalued but doesn't want to work for a private company that would pay him significantly more.

The issue is that if I ever wanted to take a break to go back to education for a couple of years or start my own business, he couldn't pay the bills! I just worry about being reliant on my income all the time. AIBU?

Does he actually know how you feel about him?

Because if I was him and I knew, I'd walk away.

Please set this poor man free and divorce him. You care about money and status. Some people choose their careers because they want to do something of actual value, salary doesn't always reflect that and that doesn't mean your DH is undervalued, this is his choice.

People are asking you about kids because you've said your husband wants them. You are of course free to make whatever decision you wish regarding children, but to stay with this poor man, treating him so horribly and knowingly robbing him of the chance to be a father which he wants because you can't get over your obsession with money is awful. Also, you can afford kids, you could probably even afford private school right now if you make cuts in other areas. You are making non-existent barriers because you don't actually respect or value your husband. Please free him of you.

I have to admit to not reading every single page of comments but OP you sound very money orientated and shallow and if that's who you are then that's who you are but you can't expect your husband to be the same and if you did then you shouldn't have married a man that you clearly aren't compatible with and seem to think it slightly beneath you unless he has a job as well paid or higher than yours. YABU and I feel for your husband.

YABU what's more important money or happiness?

II guess for the OP money is happiness