Has anyone ever been to a “bad0 funeral

[Iamnotagoddess]

Discussing with a friend who is supporting another friend who has had a close relative die suddenly.

Didn’t want to go to Co-Op felt it was too “cheap” and have gone elsewhere and are spending 8k.

She cannot afford it.

Does it actually make any difference?

I can’t remember going to a funeral and thinking the funeral was shit other than the obvious actual shitness of it.

I feel the same, I'm afraid. I have requested not to be buried by the coop or a random undertaker in town who's name I've taken against.

They're probably both brilliant, but we all have our quirks and turns out those are mine.

A little more to the point, I (randomly!!) have several friends who are vicars and they all have a preference as to who buries them as they think some make a better job of it than others,

I want literally my entire body used or donated and my hair even made into a wig if that’s a thing. You can burn the rest of me with a pic of my cat and scatter me on a vineyard by some Pinot Grigio grapes whilst getting pissed that’s all I want. However I think the flights to said vineyard might be pricey 😂

@MrsTerryPratchett my family is 50% Scots and 50% Northern Irish and since I was 16 I’ve been pissed at all the funerals I’ve been to, there’s also always music and sometimes the guitar comes out ..

I sincerely hope no-one is snotty enough to rate a funeral bad because the family have done it on the cheap.

I would say my granny's funeral was awful, she wasn't a very nice person and only 15 people attended, they where there because of ' a sense of duty' rather than because she was loved. For what it's worth I loved her and she was good to me.

It was quite a shock to 16 year old me, the only other funeral I'd been to was my grand father's on the other side his was so full they had to keep the fire doors open so the overflow of guests in the car park could hear the sermon. The same price was paid for each with just the bare basics but completely different atmospheres at both.

It was a very important lesson to me about how you should at least try to be a nice and decent person.

Don’t the Irish love Funeral?

When my mother died 18 months ago it was just me my dad and my sister at the crem. No officiant at all, garden flowers on the coffin, some music and poems that we read. Then back to the house where family and friends gathered in the garden. Wine, food then eulogies from dad, sis , me, and grandkids read her favourite poems. It was lovely. We were not prepared to have someone who didn't know mum see her off so we did it ourselves.

@ChocoChunk1

You deserve !

Dads funeral was directed by the local co-op. It was wonderful (well as well wonderful as your father's funeral can be). We felt confident in the service that was provided and that Dad was well looked after whilst in there care which was comforting. We settled on a mid range package but honestly, we could have paid thousands more and it wouldn't have made that day any 'nicer'

My aunt pre paid her own funeral with the Co op and it was perfectly fine, very caring staff, smart cars, choice of coffin etc but her sister was a bit sniffy about it as it was Co op. It seems that when they were growing up their mother looked down on anyone who used the Co op as it was for common/poor people. When the snooty aunt passed away her funeral was no better than her sisters but cost much more.

I doubt that there is a lot of difference in price wherever you go it’s the choices you make when you are there , a better coffin is going to cost more from the coop in the same way as it will cost more from an independent .

I don't think you can tell the difference between funeral providers.

The last funeral I went to was low cost and provided by the coop. It had to be the coop because they're the only funeral directors in this town that have the facilities if you are donating a part of your body to science. The coffin etc were budget/eco friendly because that was the families preference.

At the end if the day it's a matter of preference/taste/culture

@littlehappyhippo we literally had a funeral like that yesterday - £1310!

Most local 'chains' wanted at least £2600 for a direct cremation with no service etc.

Can't recommend the little set ups - though I admit I can only talk for the one we used - enough!

People who overspend on funerals, when they can't even afford it, break my heart.
I have seen families who lost young children going for an over the top funeral - completely understandable, but I did feel some rage towards the business that was taking advantage of them. It's such an emotional time, obviously, it's too easy to rip people off.

I have never seen a cardboard box, but I can't say I've really pay attention to coffins and so on.

A "bad funeral" for me is something that is "too much" (not included children, the poor parents cope how they can). Your friend really doesn't need to spend so much.

My childhood next door neighbours funeral was essentially a recruitment drive for the Salvation Army. It was bizarre.

I've organised one, with a local firm. It was about £2,500-3,000 (only a few hundred more than their 'simple' basic model). Crem, vicar, organist, mid-range coffin of my choice, nice flowers, order of service. Was nice, as these things go.

Actual funeral parlour I'm a bit confused. What was your actual question

I doubt the guests would notice. I think any extra that would be worth it from a more expensive outfit would be in how they take the strain off the organiser/family.

I believe you can do it yourself if you want, and no smart arse coments asking how the decased would do it, but you can be buried in your own land and as long as its at the reg 6 foot or around that no coffin is needed!

Which leaves much more for the wake afterwards;)

No one should get into debt for a fancy funeral. I want a cardboard coffin, no flowers and a woodland burial with a native shrub planted on me. But, I've told my husband if he organises it he can do what he likes as I won't be there but please don't waste money.

I’m a minister, have conducted many funerals and worked with various different funeral directors, including several different branches of the Co op. I don’t know what the costs are, but all the funeral directors I’ve worked with have been very professional and caring.

I always make sure I get family names right, including asking about nick names or how people prefer to be known. It is so important, and only one chance to get it right.

@MarSeeAh.

Yes, it’s not like a wedding is it, no one is going have two

The minister at my mother's funeral could have done with shutting right up, but other than that it was OK. No amount of hectoring the deceased's three atheist daughters was going to work. We must have had faces like thunder.

We couldn’t fault the co-op they were amazing.

We did visit all of the local funeral places near us and to be fair most of them were creepy. The co-op was fairly modern and the people were lovely.

I can’t honestly say I’ve been to a bad funeral (apart from funerals are a bit crappy because of the reason) and wouldn’t have a clue if they’d spent 5k for 15k 🤷‍♀️

The co-op did my mum's funeral, did it beautifully. Couldn't fault them, over and above what I expected. Nothing too much trouble. Wouldn't call it cheap at 4k plus but we didn't have anything fancy.

My mother had her funeral by the coop, the guy who looked after her was fantastic and they were overall really professional