Oh god, I'm so embarrassed.

[Bellesboo2]

Okay, help me, I'm such a tit.
Basically, I assumed there was some back and forth subtle flirting between me and a colleague (same office but not part of the same dept)
He would smile at me, would catch him looking at me while I was working, whenever I walked by him he would stare at me, and follow me with his eyes until I sat back down. We've been trying to strike up chat here and there in passing, but I get so flustered I end up making excuses and going back to my desk.

Anyway, after months of this, and I mean months! I decided to add him in Facebook, I'd been toying with the idea for a while but put it off for some reason or another. However, it took about 2 week for him to accept, no big deal I thought, must not use his account regularly... the day after, I decided to send him a PM, basically just saying hi etc.. hes read it and not replied. I'm so mortified, I feel I've misjudged everything and I'm dreading work tomorrow now.

Please can someone find me a black hole I can jump into.

Sned him a carting cat to reduce the awkwardness :o
Mistermagpie, are you on the friends list now?

Just pretend it never happened

When you see him, nod, smile, keep walking

You're overthinking this. Go into work with your shoulders straight and your head held high. Look fabulous because you are. If he acknowledges your message in person, then fine, if he doesn't refer to it, then you know he's not interested in pursuing anything with you. I doubt very much it's the fact you have a child that has put him off, he probably already knows that. Do you talk about DD at work?

PLEASE COME BACK AFTER WORK AND TELL US WHAT HAPPENED - UNLESS YOU'RE OUT ON A DATE???...

You are totally overthinking. It’s absolutely normal to add people on Facebook and say hi.

Act like you always do. If you’re weird about it, it becomes weird. He accepted your request. Don’t forget that.

He might feel awkward, might be shy, might be put off by you having a DD. You don’t know. Must carry on as normal, you haven’t done anything wrong or embarrassing

OP you have done absolutely nothing wrong or embarrassing. Stop worrying about it and just interact with him as you normally do.

I have a boyfriend but you wouldn't know it from looking at my Facebook profile. If a colleague sent me a friend request I would probably accept, if they tried to message me and I suspect they had a crush on me I would just ignore them. I wouldn't want to lead them on, nor would i want to be blunt and say I wasn't interested because I would worry I had misread it and they didn't have a crush and then I would see arrogant.

So anyway getting to my point, he is probably involved with someone already.

Too involved in this thread I need to know if you see him today

I have a holiday day today, but I will see him tomorrow!

To be honest, I've somehow missed friend requests for weeks! No one has ever been bothered, it was just an oversight and I was quite busy.
I would just carry on as normal, as you walk past his desk, head held high, say good morning (name) as you pass and don't falter. Carry on as you usually do. He may not have seen the message. Any overreaction or change in your behaviour creates a problem where there isn't really one.

I wouldn't panic yet. Don't message again, but hopefully he'll reply eventually. You weren't massively out of line or massively cringey or anything. xxx

Haha I'm very interested in an update for this really hope you get a date with this guy and he's lovely!

First and most important don't be embarrassed @Bellesboo2 Being attracted to someone and making them aware of your interest is important to the continuity of the human race. His response is up to him. And either he's not that into you (bummer) or he's a manipulative git who's gaslighting you and playing games (bigger bummer).

Try this for some criteria to judge his level of interest. Keep your distance until he gives you a positive sign like 'let's go out on a date'.

(Mom of grown daughters talking).

madamenoire.com/77391/girl-just-admit-it-14-signs-hes-just-not-that-into-you/2/

You've done nothing to be embarrassed off. He should be embarrassed because he read a friendly message and didn't reply! I would do what a previous poster said - add a few other people from work and say the same to them! :)

He’s rude and no I’m sure you didn’t make it all up in your head, so yes he has lead you on in a way.
Is he single for sure?
Doesn’t sound like the type of guy you want to get close to if he doesn’t even respond to your message though....he could of at the very least waved back to be polite...but it’s like he’s took a power trip here.
Be bright and breezy and non bothered, it would only boost his ego to see you all flustered and upset about it.

FWIW, I have had wave emojis from people and assumed FB sent them automatically and that no one actually physically does this. If your message was so neutral he might think it's generated by FB not from you.

But even if you misread him, don't be embarassed. Be proud of yourself for taking action. That's cool imo. It's brave. No harm done. The important thing is now to not seem bothered either way...

It was only a friendly message, you didn't declare your undying love or something, don't even worry about it, it's totally fine.
He might not be into you, he might have a gf, or he might be taking his time to reply because your message doesn't tell him if you're interested or not so he doesn't know what to reply (could be a good or bad sign). Just carry on as you are and drunkenly proposition him at the Christmas party forget about him.

Been there, done that OP.
When you see him tomorrow just act your normal smiley self and say hello and walk on, like you normally do.
Don’t overthink it. Good luck.

Laughing at him being called a dick for not responding.

Can you imagine the response on here if he responded "Hey! I think we should keep our relationship professional and friendly but maybe Facebook is inappropriate"... people would be up in arms! How dare he
It's as if you all want men to respond within minutes and then fall at your feet
Social media has got you all hanging on like a thread...

Just act how you normally would. Not over smiley. Don't ignore.

I'd add as well that whilst I've been a drunken dick on Facebook messenger plenty of work people male and female have messaged me on there - never thought it off or inappropriate

I wouldn't worry. I was in a similar situation a couple of weeks ago with a colleague that I have liked for over a year. He jokingly told me he loved me as we said goodbye and I didn't know how to respond. To this day, I will never understand why I did what I did, but I decided in my awkwardness to pretend to be a puffer fish. Yep you read that right, a puffer fish. I pursed my lips and blew out my cheeks. He looked at me in complete confusion. I got into my car and died of embarrassment.
Its fine. We avoid each other now. But the point is, you haven't embarrassed yourself! Definitely don't wave at him again though.

Oh blimey, Belle, you've done nothing wrong. Your message was quite innocuous, it wasn't even flirting, just friendly.

Don't worry about it any more (but do keep your eyes open for someone else who may be more suitable).

Bellesboo2 I like to think I styled it out by replying breezily that she was a very lucky woman and moving the subject swiftly on (was DYING inside!).

Pmsl at the puffer fish.
Ps did you know they're filled with water not air?