Oh god, I'm so embarrassed.

[Bellesboo2]

Okay, help me, I'm such a tit.
Basically, I assumed there was some back and forth subtle flirting between me and a colleague (same office but not part of the same dept)
He would smile at me, would catch him looking at me while I was working, whenever I walked by him he would stare at me, and follow me with his eyes until I sat back down. We've been trying to strike up chat here and there in passing, but I get so flustered I end up making excuses and going back to my desk.

Anyway, after months of this, and I mean months! I decided to add him in Facebook, I'd been toying with the idea for a while but put it off for some reason or another. However, it took about 2 week for him to accept, no big deal I thought, must not use his account regularly... the day after, I decided to send him a PM, basically just saying hi etc.. hes read it and not replied. I'm so mortified, I feel I've misjudged everything and I'm dreading work tomorrow now.

Please can someone find me a black hole I can jump into.

I did leave him so love heart sweets on his desk while he was in lunch last week. (They were leftovers from halloween) at the time I thought I was being cute, he didnt know they were from me and I'm quite glad he doesnt now, thankgod

*some

Puffer fish!

His loss!! Don't give up yet though...

I'm a Potato That made me lol, I'm sure your not though.

I don't think you have done anything to he particularly embarrassed about, he seems like the odd one, or ridiculously shy.
Head high and move on, it could have been so much worse!

I read your message to him.

I'd just play it cool at work. If he says anything that seems like he's brushing you off just say 'sorry, my messenger has been playing up so I did a few waves, how are you's to random friends to test if they arrived. I didn't realise you were one of them but I'm glad the glitch is sorted out now'.

And leave it at that.

Of course if he smiles and seems happy jump on him and book a weekend away ;)

Light and breezy tomorrow (we shall need regular updates please)

Just carry on as normal at work. Greet him when you walk past.
No more lovehearts on his desk.
No more facebook messages.

One message is ok and not embarrassing. If you then messaged him again or asked him why he hadn't messaged back, that's getting into territory where you can't really brush it off as just being friendly.

If he's interested in you he will show you that he is (That doesn't mean that I think we should always wait for the man to ask us out etc - but I've learned the hard way over my life that if they are interested you will know about it and not have to second guess signs of interest).
If you've shown interest by messaging you on facebook and he doesn't make use of this opportunity then he's not that into you.

Tomorrow I would act as though it didn't even happen, like it's not even something you've thought about, a non-issue, not even a thing, like you don't care even though you might be dying inside

I would also avoid the eye contact thing for now, the ball is in his court and he needs to act if he wants something with you.

Good luck OP! Keep us posted please

Hi OP,

For some reason when I am on Facebook chat I seem to always accidentally click on people's names and accidentally send them waves!! so it's perfectly possible to pretend that that happened to you.

Your message was fine. If he's flirty at times and ignoring you now then he's just being weird!

Do you think he possibly has a girlfriend and that's why he's reluctant to add you on FB?

The puffer fish has made my day.

what formerbabe said.

You are keen on him, so.....after adding the whole office.....messaging the whole office.......speak to him in a normal way. And keep doing so. And then seen what happens.

Just forget about it. If it's mentioned say 'I got your Friend request on Facebook. I never know what to do when I get those!'.

You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about! Just act as you normally would with him and don’t mention it. It will only be a big deal if you make it one, honestly

You both sound quite young and awkward tbh! (How old are you?)

There could be zillions of reasons why he's not sent you a message.
Lack of time, decides he too has made a tit of himself by ogling you and giving you the wrong impression, is in a relationship and not interested...is thinking of the right response, regrets adding you as a friend anyway... who knows.

Just forget it.

If he likes you and wants a date he will ask.

If he doesn't he might twig that his behaviour gave you the wrong message and lesson learned.

Carry on as normal and keep calm.

Do you think he possibly has a girlfriend and that's why he's reluctant to add you on FB? RTFT- he has added her he's just not replied to her message.

Seriously, don't even give this another thought. You haven't done anything wrong or embarrassing at all.

Many years ago before dh, there was a guy at work, a few colleagues kept saying how we'd be great together, and I did start to think ok what if? So I'd try to smile or speak to him a few times.

He ended up leaving and I looked him up on Facebook, I didn't add him, but he had got married and his wife was a model type (I'm not!), his FB also revealed he had some rather shady political views, but I felt a prat for even thinking it.

Don't worry about this!

Fucks sake OP he could just have not remembered to reply 😂 just say Hi tomorrow like normal and carry on...

christmasfairy I may be awkward, but I assure you that I'm not a young girl 🤔 I unfortunately, am not great in social settings, I get easily flustered and I seem to have lost the sauve gene that many around me may have.

Unfortunately for me, I'm a classic over thinker and serial self doubter.

But you're all right, I'm over thinking it. Very least hes not interested and knows I am. Worse things have happened!

In the nicest way possible, chill. I don't even think it's remotely obvious you're interested from your message, just a normal nothingy message to someone you know

If it makes you feel any better I had a male colleague who became a friend outside of work, gave me what I thought at the time were all the right signals and so I got drunk with some female friends one night, told them I fancied him and thought the feeling might be mutual, told them all about him keeping eye contact, smiling all the time whenever we spoke to each other, mimicked my body language, laughed at all my jokes etc. so they agreed he must fancy me too.

Drunk text him asking if he’d like to go on a proper date and got turned down flat.

We worked in the same department on the same bank of desks

He was gracious about it and said he was very happy with our friendship - we could continue as friends even after my drunken silliness - the absolute dread of going to work the following Monday was horrible; I was genuinely mortified.

Saw him when I got to my desk, said good morning as usual and things went back to normal pretty quick. We’re still friends now even though we no longer work together and he has since confided in me that he has high functioning autism - meaning what I was taking as flirtatious behaviour from him was one of his coping mechanisms for social interaction and he also genuinely did find my humour funny!

I think OP 'carried a watermelon' .

bluetrews I carried a watermelon 🙈