Oh god, I'm so embarrassed.

[Bellesboo2]

Okay, help me, I'm such a tit.
Basically, I assumed there was some back and forth subtle flirting between me and a colleague (same office but not part of the same dept)
He would smile at me, would catch him looking at me while I was working, whenever I walked by him he would stare at me, and follow me with his eyes until I sat back down. We've been trying to strike up chat here and there in passing, but I get so flustered I end up making excuses and going back to my desk.

Anyway, after months of this, and I mean months! I decided to add him in Facebook, I'd been toying with the idea for a while but put it off for some reason or another. However, it took about 2 week for him to accept, no big deal I thought, must not use his account regularly... the day after, I decided to send him a PM, basically just saying hi etc.. hes read it and not replied. I'm so mortified, I feel I've misjudged everything and I'm dreading work tomorrow now.

Please can someone find me a black hole I can jump into.

I get about 20-40 fb friend requests a day on my work fb account and at least a quarter of these then wave at me or send me a message similar to the one you sent - totally normal and nothing to be embarrassed about at all. Honestly :-)

You are really overthinking this! Imagine it was a colleague you didn’t fancy. “I added them and said hello!” Doesn’t sound so bad does it?

Unless your PM included the words like 'knickers' 'want' 'get into' and 'your' I think you are fine - for all your colleague knows you send this message to everyone! Plenty of us are FB friends with work people, it's just a good way to keep in touch if we are away for a while (it is in my place anyway).

Just keep up your usual behaviour, don't mention FB to him AT ALL (it's just normal, so not worth mentioning, cultivate that attitude), don't block or message again unless you hear from him.

For all you know his inbox is crammed full of people waving, messaging, random rubbish and yours is lost in the background noise.

Just be normal from now on. He accepted your friendship - now just go quiet. See what happens.

I thought you were going to say you had asked him out.
Don't worry about it. Just act normal and forget it. Its really not as bad as you think.

Thanks for talking me down! I'm so socially awkward, I cant even explain. Next time Facebook asks me for feedback, I'll be asking for them to review the send you new friend a wave option!

I bet he has a girlfriend. What's his FB page like?

Own it OP. Just Own it. You were acknowledging your new Facebook friend!

I once added and sent a message to a guy at work. Got a very meh response, one line with absolutely no way of continuing a conversation from it.
Ended up marrying him anyway

We arent close by any means. Its took since the summer to get from staring and smiling to actual hello

*Our need to send every person on your office a fb friend request now! Then send them all the same message. Then loudly talk about this and ask everyone if they received it.

They will all think you're mad but this is preferable*

I love this!
But it might be something more practical you can follow up with. For example, if his hobby is cycling ask him to recommend a cycling book for a friend? Or he has a not very common can and ask something about it? or something along those lines. i think this will save the embarrassment and also start a conversation that might lead to something if he is into you.

I wave at new friends on FB. I think it’s fun. And I sometimes don’t reply to messages straight away because I’m at the gym and don’t notice until later.

Don’t overthink!

*car - not can

Theres lots of women on his page, but just looks like his social circle

Make sure you do a really exaggerated wave every time you walk past him.

He'll just think you like waving

And make sure you add other people from work else it will look odd!

You could easily blame that on an auto setting on FB thingy. Put a post up saying “sorry if any of my friends have received inane DM messages from me this week, trying to sort my settings out now. Bloody algorithms).”

If it makes you feel any better I sent the wave emoji to someone I’d bumped into and for some reason it went twice. He very kindly suggested maybe I was waving with both hands. Nothing like the situation you’re in but I still felt silly.

For example, if his hobby is cycling ask him to recommend a cycling book for a friend

Please don't do this. You'll look proper desperate if he's not responded and you start sending him even more messages. 🤣

@Tortoiser

Thanks for the laugh!

Oh I get waves the whole time, don't worry! FB is evil and must be stopped! but at least you can look at his pictures

mrsadorabelle I think at this point I'd settle just for a wave back

Look he may feel that he doesn't want to look desperate and will respond eventually, maybe he's playing it cool to not look too keen and if he doesn't respond I would literally be tongue in cheek as you walk by him and say ''oh cheers for blanking me on the facebook msg, god blanked!!'' and then laugh and keep on walking. I wouldn't start hiding and looking shy I would just front it out in a jokey cocky way!

Yeah I wouldn’t of waved but it’s not the worst! He might have opened it but be bad at replying.
I wouldn’t ignore him, it was fine! Just act like it didn’t happen, no one else knows about it

Flipping heck, you only waved and said hi. No need to get worried about that at all. He may be thinking it's pointless to respond with a 'hi' though.

At this rate you'll be in the menopause before you get a snog though.

I didnt think I had a chance anyway, hes very tall, dark and handsome and I'm a potato.

Definitely act normal when you see him! You've done nothing wrong!