Oh god, I'm so embarrassed.

[Bellesboo2]

Okay, help me, I'm such a tit.
Basically, I assumed there was some back and forth subtle flirting between me and a colleague (same office but not part of the same dept)
He would smile at me, would catch him looking at me while I was working, whenever I walked by him he would stare at me, and follow me with his eyes until I sat back down. We've been trying to strike up chat here and there in passing, but I get so flustered I end up making excuses and going back to my desk.

Anyway, after months of this, and I mean months! I decided to add him in Facebook, I'd been toying with the idea for a while but put it off for some reason or another. However, it took about 2 week for him to accept, no big deal I thought, must not use his account regularly... the day after, I decided to send him a PM, basically just saying hi etc.. hes read it and not replied. I'm so mortified, I feel I've misjudged everything and I'm dreading work tomorrow now.

Please can someone find me a black hole I can jump into.

househunt oh, I like that actually!

I once friend requested a flirty colleague on fb and he never accepted. On a drunken night out I mortifyingly asked why he hadn't and he said he didn't really like having random colleagues as fb friends, he used it for close friends and family only. I was so embarrassed.

We've now been married for five years and our third child is due in four weeks! These things aren't always as bad as they seem

How is he stringing her along?? FFS some on here really do fall over themselves to moan about a man don’t they.

Look OP you’ve done nothing wrong, you message Hi not do you wanna suck my clit. Just don’t message again! when you walk past his desk say morning and move on with your day.....

Back in the day my friends and I were at camp with school. She wrote this lads name surrounded by hearts on the blackboard. She carried on drawing a church , horse and carriage etc.
The door to the hall opened just as she was prancing round holding plastic flowers.
There he stood with all his mates.

Listen, I accept friend requests now and then but nonetheless I'm not on facebook that much, I check mostly on my phone (not with the app) and don't always see the message icon then, and my messenger app doesn't tell me there are messages waiting. So who knows, he might not even have seen it.

iamabluebird your poor friend!

Don't call yourself a potato!!

Honestly I'm glad you liked my comment, you need to push through the embarrassment with confidence and be blatantly obvious, i think its more awkward being quiet, both not saying anything when you both know about this message, so yeah i'd just front it out and have a dry sense of humour with it, you could even say ''god can't believe you blanked my message/hello, not everyone gets a message from me you should feel special!'' and then laugh and walk off. You put him in his place haha!!

Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but hes definitely seen it. When you've sent a message, their picture appears under the msg once it's been read.

I miss the old days - there are just so many ways to get rejected now. When I was a teenager I just used to pretend that boys were scared to call my landline in case my parents answered 😂

I wouldn’t be embarrassed at all - just give him a wide berth, ball’s in his court now!

Maybe he thought "Oh good she likes me! I'll talk to her when I see her". If he didn't like you, he'd have ignored your friend request. A lot of people don't like talking on there and find it weird - I don't have it anymore & one HUGE reason is to avoid this sort of thing! I'm 32 and feel like I've kind of outgrown it. I loved it in my teens when it was all fresh and new.

When you next see him just smile as usual and take it from there. Good luck

Did he read the message???

I never ever check my Facebook messages

You are stressing out about nothing! You did nothing wrong.

He's rude for not replying to you, I'd be annoyed not embarrassed!

Oh god I thought the message you’d sent was going to be asking him out on a date or something. That’s fine op! Wayyyy overthinking it. I like a pps suggestion of being forward and cocky about it in a jokey way. If you’re awkward and quiet around him now it’s going to look like you’re really bothered about it. Add a few more work colleagues and keep it breezy

And I’m sure you’re not a potato op!

Anyway If he doesn’t reply he’s the weirdo, smiling at you for months and then not replying to a friendly hello!

I'm just glad I didnt add him on snapchat now
I will avoid the copy room for a while, thanks all.

It's fine. Do what others suggest and never mention it directly. Ask a few others in the office to be friends on facebook and casually mention something about it to someone within his hearing.

At least you didn't ask hi out on a date only for him to tell you he already has a girlfriend (happened to me!!!).

Bellesboo2 well he did respond to the double wave but it took him all day, I think he was at work. If he only looks at Facebook once every two weeks he probably doesn’t use the messaging very much either. Perhaps he doesn’t know what to say?

Well it’s a bit weird on his part if he’s been staring at you all this time and then doesn’t reply on FB. Put him out of your mind, he’s either playing mind games or he’s plain odd

Not weird at all, not everyone checks their Facebook friend requests everytime they are on...and not everyone replies to their messages straightaway...I sometimes read them and then reply at a later time, it doesn't have any hidden meaning other than I am doing something at the time and will get back to the message later (later can be that same day, next day or longer)...

tooyoungat40 that sounds so awkward!!!

It will definitely feel worse for you than what it actually is, 100% just act like you normally would, don't acknowledge it.

Adding a colleague and saying hey is normal, yes he'll probably know you have a soft spot for him but if he doesn't feel the same way he can just ignore the situation by not replying and acting the same too.

TBH just act like nothing happened, if you did not like him, you would have forgot you sent the message in the first place. Maybe he forgot to respond. That happens to me a lot. But I do think, perhaps you misread everything, as if he was interested, he would not forget to respond. Don't be emabaressed though. Not a big deal. Its not like you tried to kiss him ;)

He may just not look on FB very often and being male not have messenger installed on his phone.

You've done nothing to be embarrassed about. Just be normal if you see him.

(If it was me, back in the day, I would probably have fallen over by his desk or something. Don't do that!)

I don't think your message was great tbh! So he's just going to reply 'yeah I'm fine thanks.. see you tomorrow' ??

You need to strike up a separate conversation, specific to you two, things you've spoken about before and then keep it separate and flirty.

Don't ever bother overthinking when it comes to Facebook. As others have said, he might have intended to reply when convenient but then forgot, or on the other hand he might have accepted your friend request so he could have a nosy at your private life. Both are standard behaviour on Facebook: nothing about it should ever be taken seriously. Just communicate in real life instead.

You could easily blame that on an auto setting on FB thingy. Put a post up saying “sorry if any of my friends have received inane DM messages from me this week, trying to sort my settings out now. Bloody algorithmsgrin).”

When people say things like this I just think 'liar who doesn't understand how to use the internet' - do not blame stupid actions on 'facebook doing it by itself' lol