To sneakily admire this mum of a bullied child

[churchandstate]

I read this expecting to be disgusted, then I watched the video and by the time she was putting her hair up I couldn't help it: I begrudgingly liked her. Shocking that it came to this, but I can only imagine she was at the end of her tether.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7655161/Disturbing-moment-raging-mother-confronts-sons-bully-expletive-laced-rant.html#comments-7655161

’ve read that. It’s interesting. Obviously it’s impossible to know who to believe, but her anger is undeniable. She may be very unreasonable - we can’t know!

If he son is being bullied and is the victim I can't blame her for losing it. I just think before we all start cheering her on we should consider that we've no evidence to go on.

Before anyone starts saying victim blaming or not believing the victim. We literally don't know these people at all.

Lostsocksaresoannoying

I know that, Lost, and have acknowledged it already.

And if taking yiur hat off, keeping your arms by your sides, your voice quiet and walking slowly is extremely aggressive you have had a very sheltered life and mine has been about as vilent as any Arnie film!

You’re being totally disingenuous. You know her behaviour in that video was extremely aggressive. That’s the whole point. Everyone can see it. She intended it to be so it would scare him enough. You’re lying when you say it isn’t.

If he son is being bullied and is the victim I can't blame her for losing it. I just think before we all start cheering her on we should consider that we've no evidence to go on.

Before anyone starts saying victim blaming or not believing the victim. We literally don't know these people at all.

Exactly this.

Little did she know that the girl's mum was known as the baddest in her year at the same school so many teachers knew her

Now imagine- if someone had had a “non aggressive” confrontation with the mum when she was at school she wouldn’t have been able to beat up the smaller bully that was bullying her child, because the “non aggressive” confrontation would have ended all her bullying tendencies. Right?

My dad did the same for me once. I was 7 and made to sit next to a boy in class who would pinch me and stop me from working. He encouraged me to tell the teacher who let me move seats but there was no repercussion for that boy. Until my dad bollocked him on the way home and when he said that my dad couldn't touch him my dad asked if he really wanted to test that theory out. It was the early 90s.

I hope I would do the same for my kids and yes i openly admire her the gits fully deserved it.

It’s sad that schools just don’t deal with the issue of bullying, it makes me wonder if any teachers have ever been bullied. If they had been don’t you think they’d know how much it affects children’s Lives. The likelihood that this boy was bullying is very High IMO. Surely no mother would do this without knowing for sure her child was being bullied. Bullies in schools become arseholes as adults. Hopefully one less arsehole now.

Of course teachers have been bullied! some of them will be being bullied at work right now either by a pupil or another staff member (or multiples!) teachers only have limited powers to tackle bullying. Sure- some of them are shit teachers and not interested in tackling it but plenty are- they just have very restrictive guidelines in place for dealing with it. And bullying children know this. They know there is only so much the schools can do.

If that’s the case they should have more compassion then. I was bullied all through high school. All teachers turned a blind eye, some actually joined in or laughed. There’s options there to control this but they choose not to. I firmly believe if a minor is being bullied as an adult you have that responsibility to ensure you do all you can to stop it.

One boy pushed my brother down the stairs after years of bullying my brother snapped - hit him back breaking his nose. My mum was called in & told my brother could get excluded for violence but nothing mentioned about the years of relentless bullying 🤷‍♀️

Until my dad bollocked him on the way home and when he said that my dad couldn't touch him my dad asked if he really wanted to test that theory out.

I have done it more than once for my children.

The only time that wasn't my finest hour was when one of mine was 17, I know right, you think they would be over it by then. Nearly ex-mate kept goading my kid, it was endless. What was worse we were having a party. Yes, we should have called the police, but was giving mate a chance. We had reasons. Ended up on that persons door beating on it like I am going to knock it down. As I held the person threating to do some things to them. Obviously person blurts out, I couldn't do it.

After that whenever I saw that person, never mind any of my kids, that person would leg it. All because 'you really want to test me'

May not seem like it, I am not a violent person. Until you push me. The mate hadn't done a damn thing to mine until that night. Several people tried talking to her. We would ignore her beating on the door, but had to open it cos she was pissing the neighbours off. Who was also having a go at me. Even when everyone started to tell her to fuck off. Nope back she came. Police had been called, nothing against the Met, they came a couple of hours after I had paid her a visit.

What I'm trying to say, is it doesn't matter if it goes on for weeks or hours. You start pissing people off, be prepared. We try reasoning with you nicely. We give you the chance to change your behaviour. Even if we tell them what they did and why. We are giving them a chance to change You change, awesome, everyone goes back to what they were doing. If you need help you can ask for it, you know you can, you are told all the time around school, youth clubs etc. Never mind posters etc for childline. Ok I know, trust me, that is a whole new thread.
There are ones that will push on. You explain why it's wrong. And on and on it goes.

Once you decide to stay on that path of not listening and you are still doing you. Well me, I am going to tell you to back the fuck off to your face. Fuck nice, nice only works if that person wants to change.

I was bullied at primary school by this one boy in particular. I told my teacher, she didn't believe me (nobody would back me up). He would do subtle shit like spit in someone's hair when we were all stood together then tell everyone it was me, I couldn't prove it wasn't and I got the blame. He threw daddy long legs at me and put worms down my back. In short, he was awful but sneaky. My parents complained and were told I needed to toughen up. They went round the house of this boy where they were told he was perfect, he wouldn't dream of being a bully. They got nowhere.

One day I was walking across the playground at hometime and this boy ran up behind me, grabbed my hat and chucked it in a puddle. My nan had seen him do it and as he went past her she grabbed him by the collar, held him up against the school gates and gave him a warning. He never came near me after that. It may not have been ideal but it worked.

If that’s the case they should have more compassion then.

You dont know that they don’t. You have no idea how most teachers feel about and deal with bullying that they see.

I was bullied all through high school. All teachers turned a blind eye, some actually joined in or laughed.

You went to a shit school.

Well what have the teachers done for the person getting bullied in this thread. You can say what you want but it’s their responsibility.

Yes I did go to a shit school & im guessing you think bullying is acceptable because it was a shit school there’s a lot of shit schools where a lot of children are getting bullied because oh the bully has the right to an education too

Good on her!
The schools around here are shocking when it comes to bullying. If it's anything like that for her I can see why she took it upon herself.

Bully was clearly terrified, good!

Well what have the teachers done for the person getting bullied in this thread.

We’ve no idea- schools don’t divulge that information to all and sundry!

You can say what you want but it’s their responsibility.

No idea what this means in the context of my post.

Yes I did go to a shit school & im guessing you think bullying is acceptable because it was a shit school

strange leap you’ve made there. What I meant was you went to a shit school- that doesn’t mean that’s how all schools deal with bullying. You seem to have decided that because your school didn’t tackle bullying that it means all teachers were never bullied and have no compassion for victims. Which is of course nonsense.

What exactly are you trying to prove Cheesecake?

Are you trying to justify how schools deal with bullying?

Are you trying to tell us that a mother has no right to protect her offspring?

Or are you just trying to be right?

Schools are blocked by batshit policies at the end of the day.
Even the lunch staff report bullying but if the policies are batshit, you are screwed. And if you have a Head that cares about appearances and sweeps everything under the carpet, even going for their jugular is a long process.

And that is one of the issues. Everything takes bloody ages. A teen can go into school beat the shit out of another kid. Do you think that one is automatically excluded?

If exclusion was an easy step to get to, kids wouldn't be putting up with bullying for years. Afterall schools are inclusive, not saying this is bad because there are so many positives for it. Which can be detrimental to the bully, especially if they have other things going on that the school cannot manage.
And by the time they have reached exclusion no school wants them unless they have the resources.
Because no-one walks into somewhere one day and just beat the shit out of someone, like some of these bullies do. And please don't think for a moment I am in any way condoning bullies.

Some you can threaten to back the fuck off, others have real issues that the school needs help with now, not when they get worse and you can finally exclude them. Yes, it should be also the parents that are doing their bit, but you really think their parents are helping them, they're not, so good luck trying to get them to work with anyone else. And at the end of the day, someone has to look out for that child.

*someone should look out for all the kids, not just the bullies.

Prove? im not trying to “prove” anything. I’m having a discussion. It’s how these forums work. People discuss situations. If you genuinely think no teachers have ever been bullied and have no compassion then there’s no point carrying on this conversation. There are already teachers on this thread who have explained the limitations they’re working under and why other options can’t happen or won’t work. If you don’t want to hear it from me then read back through the thread and read their posts.

Exactly FFS! It really is not a case of teachers being ignorant of the impact of bullying (why anyone would think teachers are some special breed of people who have never been bullied Ian beyond me) or having no compassion. Their hands are tied in most situations.

I’ve read back through the thread. My understanding is your perhaps unsure as to how true it is that the mother’s child was Getting bullied?

If this is a thread of people giving their opinions then okay, but you seemed to have critiqued a lot of people’s opinions here.

When all other options fail, what are we left with? The schools aren’t doing anything, the police can’t do anything so they say. What’s left to do? A mother has to protect her child. Simple as that. I’d do the same

And teachers not being bullied 🤣 🤣
Those that sweep it all under the carpet to keep up appearances are the worse for bullying of all staff members. Management, teachers, kitchen staff, admin staff.

The bullying I went through, just like a fuckton of those working in any school led to me having a breakdown. I would love to give you a happy ending. The bullies are still there years later. The school has a high turn over of staff, so at least someone may, possibly, hopefully keeping an eye 😂 . And I'm still recovering.

But yea, it's true, there's no bullying.

Although do like when new heads go in and not long after, there's a lot of erm a lot of 'redundancies'. At least they get rid off all bad staff. (I'm not saying bullying is the only reason. Others do it because the staff are crap at their jobs).

@ffs I’m not trying to be antagonist in anyway. But if children were bullied under your care, what could you do? Remove them from the classroom? Report to the parents? Put them in isolation?

Of course I’m not implying no teacher has ever been bullied but you’d think they’d understand the effects it has on people as they get older? Meaning they’d want to deal with it more

Surely no mother would do this without knowing for sure her child was being bullied. Bullies in schools become arseholes as adults. Hopefully one less arsehole now.

Actually you're totally wrong. Parents of bullies are often extremely aggressive and volatile themselves and can see no wrong in their little darlings, which is probably why their children follow suit.

True. At one school there was a lad who was bullying a few of the kids - they were about 10 or 11.

His mum was very quiet and wouldn't say boo to a goose -she was incredibly nice and polite. Then we all met his dad at a school function and that cleared the issue up nicely.

The parents of one of the kids he was bullying said there was a meeting at the school between them and the bullying boy's parents. The dad bowled in, talked over the mum, told her to be quiet etc and reused to acknowledge any misbehavior beyond 'boys need to be tough' and 'where I'm from boys need to be able to stand up for themselves' nonsense. The boy's brothers were equally as charming.

The sad thing was that we had a school dinner and were sat next to the boy and his mum. We didn't know who they were then and we chatted away to them all evening. The boy was actually nice - and I'm pretty good at spotting when people are being insincere or unnatural. He was relaxed and interacted really nicely with his mum and the other adults - polite, funny, interesting, helpful and respectful to the serving staff. I suspect macho dad had a lot to do with his bad behaviour..

Unfortunately when ds1 was in year 4, I had a dad come up to me, in my face and shouting the odds, just like the woman in that video. ' He better not touch my son again or else....'
What had my son done? Defended himself against his bully of a son. Apple didn't fall far from the tree.
School were great though and banned the dad from the school grounds and his son had to go out to meet him away from the gates, and I was allowed to use the front door so I didn't have to see him.

So there could be another side to this