To sneakily admire this mum of a bullied child

[churchandstate]

I read this expecting to be disgusted, then I watched the video and by the time she was putting her hair up I couldn't help it: I begrudgingly liked her. Shocking that it came to this, but I can only imagine she was at the end of her tether.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7655161/Disturbing-moment-raging-mother-confronts-sons-bully-expletive-laced-rant.html#comments-7655161

My DS is now 40. Between the ages of 13-15 he was very badly bullied. I went to the school. I went to the police. I spoke to the parents ( who were very apologetic. But ultimately didng do anything to stop their son bullying mine) in the end I went and waited out side the school.
Out came the little bastsrd. Well not so little even at 15 this kid was 6 ft. I am 5ft 2.
I grabbed him by the collar. Pushed him up to the wall and yelled at him. Made him look an idiot.

Do I regret it. No bloody way. Ok in this day and age i would probably not of touched him. But I would have still yelled at him. Sometimes when nothing else works you just have to go down to their level. And no he never touched my son again.

Know yourself

A really powerful piece of advice. One she obviously took many years ago. You could see it in how she took her hat off, handed it to someone (rather than it to the ground) tied her hair up and psyched herself into Fucking Angry Mum Mode.

Unlikely threat after unlikely threat, probaly aping the threats made by the kid with the camera and the sage advice "Know yourself" repeated.

I'd probably like her in real life. Be a bit scared of her, but I wouldn't mess with her kids!

I used to deal with bullies by using my stength and speed, I'd punch them hard, make sure I'd hurt them, and run away. They just came back at me in numbers. My mother, crap as she was in many ways, dealt with one set really well. She had watched them hiodl me in place whilst another kicked the back of my legs. I bit one of them on the upper arm to escape.

Mum grabbed me, dragged me to the house of the girl I had bitten. Her mum was all for showing my mum the damage I had done. My mum swore at her (my mother does not swear, hell she bearley ever raises her voice) and took my hair out of its plaits to show her the bald, bleeding patches, turned me round to show the back of my legs bleeding, and pushed my sleeves up to show both arms with scratches and bruises. She counted each and every injury and promised the woman, in a quite, tight voice, that if I gained 1 more, ever, from anyone, she would come back and inflict twice as many on her, both her daughters, her fucking cat if need be (I always felt sorry for the cat) and anyone else she found in the house.

Guess what happened after that? Nothing! And I was the new girl, red headed, freckled girl with a limp, an eye patch and thick rimmed national health glasses. A very easy target for everyone. Neither me nor my sister were targetted again.

I have never understod anyone who suggest that adults should not step in when childen are being bullied. What else is there an adult should do?

For those of you saying she filmed herself, she quite clearly didn't - she walks AWAY from the camera!

The video is from the phone of the kid she's yelling at - they're filming her as proof for police in case she hit them.

She wasn't filming. The "You can't touch me" kid was, presumably so he could 'get her done' if she touched him!

Well, that worked out well for him!

@Awwlookatmybabyspider I agree however it is an essential life skill. Bullies exist everywhere. Good parents teach their children how to deal with them.

Put the fear of god into these little sh*ts. Need to understand that they can't do what they want all the time.

I admire her courage. She and her child have clearly had enough. The bully (who is the one doing the filming, by the way, not her) sounds like the nasty little shits who live in/ go to school in or visit my area in a generally nice part of SE London. These kids are stealing bikes, mopeds, bags and mobile phones. They terrorise shop keepers and staff, blatantly shop lifting and filming themselves. They stand outside the tube station smoking weed in their school uniform. They have filmed themselves beating up other kids. They are nasty, uncontrollable little thugs. The police and schools have done nothing. Clearly the parents do nothing either. There is a local FB group discussing antisocial and criminal behaviour and they are talking about going vigilante on these out of control teenagers.

Good on her for standing up for her kid. She should find out who this kid's parents are and go to them, too. Show them the video.

I was bullied in school and this would possibly have made it worse. But in my experience bullies operated in the world of tennagers free from adult intervention. So they got to think they were big and hard. They do need to know in the real 2orld they won't get away with that shit. I don't think violence is the answer but sometimes is the only option people understand.

Someone said something upthread about there being no deterrent to bullying, and I agree with that. There needs to be.

Maybe MN would consider a campaign?

Absolutely brilliant I admire this tiger mom! Ik sure all of us deep down wish we could do this. My mantra is if the bully doesn't stop picking on my child il warn there parents, if theres a second warning il be bullying the parents, see how quick little Quinton stops bullying your child!

Good on her.

I don't feel sorry for the poor little bully.

If you've gone through it you'd understand. Being bullied at 14 made me suicidal and affected me for years, until I paid for therapy.

I'd teach my child to hit back the first time, none of this go and tell the teacher.

Maybe MN would consider a campaign?

That’s a really good idea. Something I would fully support.

My dd was assaulted at school for the third time, resulting in an ambulance being called .

All 3 times, same boy. We even moved hee school after the 2nd. 4 months later he was placed on a 'managed move' to my daughters new school.

His mother was bleating about his right to be educated because he had been removed from the class room. Apparently my daughter should just learn to avoid him and defend herself.

I didnt threaten the boy. I told the mother that if he touched my daughter again, I would attack her and it was her responsibility to avoid me or defend herself. I asked how she would feel knowing that I could just appear at school, or her work and just attack her?

Then I asked her if she felt it was fair an 11 year old to feel like that.

Then I told her it wasnt a threat. I would do it.

He never bothered my daughter again.

That’s brilliant @Shosha1

Fucking cowardice little thugs the lot of them.

She should find out who this kid's parents are and go to them, too. Show them the video.

The video doesn’t show the child doing anything wrong. Not saying he hasn’t by the way- just that showing the video only shows her being aggressive and threatening violence- actually I’m sure the parents would love the footage. Take it straight to the police

actually I’m sure the parents would love the footage. Take it straight to the police grin

Depends on what kind of parents they are really. If they are decent parents they will be dealing with their child’s bullying. If they’re pathetic they will go crying to the police.

She's threatened the bully, she's threatened the bully's mum, she's threatened the bully's dad and she's threatened the whole family.

This will not end there

Especially now her face is all over the internet.

Depends on what kind of parents they are really. If they are decent parents they will be dealing with their child’s bullying. If they’re pathetic they will go crying to the police.

Also depends on whether the version we’re hearing is accurate. Their child may or may not have been bullying her child. We’ve heard one side. And the only evidence we’ve seen is of the person telling the story being extremely aggressive.

... but when push comes to shove and all the formal channels have been exhausted, what other avenues did she have. I was bullied for years and no one did anything that worked. I would have loved a parent that stuck up for me. I acknowledge that there should be a decent process that works but it often comes down to the individuals e.g. head teacher etc and how they address the issue.

I did this....but not to the kid,to one of his parents.

Did everything the right way...went to school numerous times,approached the parents. They said thier child wouldnt do this and that.
Then I was told if their child was going to be accused of something they hadnt done then they may as well do it.

So I tried one more approach and I was screamed at,unfortunately for them they thought being arogant and stuck up was all they needed to get away with anything.

So I lost it like that mother in the video did,that family never bothered my son again.

So good on her,she had obviously seen her child go through hell

Good for her.

nope I don't admire her.

we can't criticise bullies and then condone an adult for threatening a child in this way.

Also depends on whether the version we’re hearing is accurate. Their child may or may not have been bullying her child. We’ve heard one side. And the only evidence we’ve seen is of the person telling the story being extremely aggressive

Maybe it is accurate though. Is it just because she’s an adult and he’s a “child” that you’re doubting it?

My friend’s daughter has had issue after issue at secondary school with bullies. In fact my friend was in school today about it. She’s that close to just telling the girls herself to back off because school are atrocious at dealing with it. My friend is feisty as anything but she’s gone down the correct channels first to get it sorted. I wouldn’t blame her if she reacted like this woman has eventually.

would have been much better for everyone involved if she taught her child to deal with it (one way or another)

I was horribly bullied as a child, first were the words and jokes,then came the beatings and the fights . It all ended with a sexual assault,6 boys against one girl. I was 13.

How exactly was I supposed to deal with it and sort it myself, because no one else gave a shit.

I can’t quite believe the responses here. The angle of the camera (up her nostrils) demonstrates that the child was a lot smaller than her. What a brave mama bear to threaten a small child like that. Maybe if it was the child’s parent I would understand the praise