To sneakily admire this mum of a bullied child

[churchandstate]

I read this expecting to be disgusted, then I watched the video and by the time she was putting her hair up I couldn't help it: I begrudgingly liked her. Shocking that it came to this, but I can only imagine she was at the end of her tether.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7655161/Disturbing-moment-raging-mother-confronts-sons-bully-expletive-laced-rant.html#comments-7655161

the job would pay well

How does that tally with but only at the level of funding as would be spent on a school place

You can’t pay well if using only the funding that that is available for a school place!

IWorkAtTheCheescakeFactory

On a per hour basis the teacher would be paid the going rate. However many hours that added up to would be the number of hours tuition made available to the child.

If anyone did to my daughter what was done to me,I wouldn't just threaten it, I'd actually do it.

I doubt you would, maybe inflict some scratches but ripping their face off would probably take some form of scalpel. Either way, you’d be the one ending up in a police cell.

Meaning if per capita per year funding for education was £5,000 and the teacher expected £25 an hour, the child would be entitled to 200 hours a year.

EVERY parent of EVERY child stands up to the bully until the message gets through - to the bully and its parents and every possible victim!
yes I agree, we need to teach children and adults about how bullying and intimidation works and how to deal with it, bring it out into the light, lots of eyes and minds on the problem.

@churchandstate I'd counter with

if the child was violent and aggressive, the tuition would take place behind glass I can hear the do goodery screams from here. And as a teacher I wouldn't do it!

if the child wouldn’t engage, there would be no attempt to force them so they do what? Roam the streets, get into worse behaviour, be a drain on society into adulthood?

the job would pay well (I would do it if I wasn’t expected to get the aggressive, disengaged child to pass, but jus arrive with well-prepared resources and a positive attitude) How? You said earlier 'at the same cost as in school' - I am sorry, but that last bit made me splutter. You've just described the lot of many teacher... babysitter with aggressive kids! It really doesn't work like that!

core subjects only Especially if you expect the most wanted/needed teachers to do this! There aren't enough of them to fill the school positions as things stand. Let alone doing 1-2-1 work in isilation booths woth aggressive kids, just sitting, smiline and pointing at well prepared activities. Teachers want to teach!

@churchandstate and the rest of the time?

Do you honestly believe that sending these kids/people out in the world at 18 with barely any education,no qualifications,no skills will make them change their behaviours or stop and think?

Sorry @churchandstate I can only repeat that your idea of how the financing would work just won't, see my previous post about facilities and timetables. It doesn't exist because it is not financially viable. That is why we have PRU instead.

School funding levels rely on there being a minimum number of bums on seats (it was 11.5 when I last taught).

CuriousaboutSamphire

It doesn’t matter whether they’re do-gooders or not, to me. They can be supply, ex-teachers, tutors, people training on the job etc.

In my ideal solution, they wouldn’t roam the streets but would stay at the educational contact centre during school hours. It would be boring, but that’s the implication of being a bully - you don’t get what you want.

CuriousaboutSamphire

It would have to be funded at government level, obviously. I see no reason to say it wouldn’t work, just that you wouldn’t do it. I would.

She looks to me like a woman who has been pushed to the edge of reason. From the way she's saying "touch him again, touch him again" it seems as though whatever's happening her kid has been going on a while.

Of course we don't know the full story, but sadly I think it's quite likely that her kid's been on the business end of a little thug. Bullying is still rife, and is fairly impossible to solve when it involves an unhappy kid bullying because of their own shitty parents, who are either abusive or neglectful or refuse to set boundaries.

Sad for the bully to have inadequate deadbeat parents, but I fully understand any parent of a victim of the school bully getting to the end of their tether - and of course they are going to put their own child first. Bullying can cause changes to the neurology of a child's brain, meaning longterm emotional difficulties. It can do serious damage. One study (at least) has found sustained bullying to be as damaging as childhood abuse at the hands of caregivers.

I don't actually see a woman here who 'aggression comes to naturally', I see a woman who has watched her child in pain, and is now desperate to the point of exploding.

WhiskeyLullaby

No. I think it would pretty much disastrous for them. But it would be great for their victims.

I do think the police should have more involvement and not pass the buck to the school. Schools shouldn't be able to hide behind "we're investigating it".

You report the assault and it should be treated and investigated as such by the police and then prosecuted.

Good for her.

What does 'Know yourself' mean?

I really felt her passion for this topic in her face ripping threats. I admire her too

What does 'Know yourself' mean?

No idea but I can never hear it without picturing that woman on big brother saying it during an argument years ago. it must be something to say during a confrontation.

. I think it would pretty much disastrous for them.

Not just them, imagine all these violent,unemployable people out on the streets with no future and nothing to do all day. They wouldn't just be a drain on resources,but a danger to their communities.

This is why it won't and shouldn't work. They might be removed from schools for a limited period of time, but then you'd have to deal with them at large in the society.

it's interesting. This woman is using hyperbole "I'll rip of your face". People have had invective like "I'll cut off your head and rape your neck" on the internet and guess what? It's never actioned, never taken down and women are just told to leave the internet if they can't hack it.

So this mum (and I'm going to hope that she has been through the usual channels and the bullying of her kid hasn't stopped which is why she's done this) is using the same. And people think she's the bad guy What happened to believing the victims? If we assume (because we see enough posts about bullying here to know that many parents of bullied children don't get anything like the support they need from schools/authorities) that she has done the right things and no change, what do you do then?

Run away?

No. You make it stop. And if you have a nice paper trail, and if you like this woman very clearly don't lay a hand on anyone, what are the police going to do? Rapists and violent attackers of women get sod all in the way of punishment very often. So is she going to jail? I think not.

Ageeed. I also admired the lady who was prosecuted for punching a teenage bully who had the audacity to show up at her house and try and intimate her daughter.

My son is only 6 and it was a one off incident but he bullied another child. I was actually surprised the other mum didn’t go mad, I’d have understood if she did and if she shouted at me or him we would’ve took it in the chin. I certainly wouldn’t back him if he was a teenager!

Maybe we wouldn’t all use the phrases she did but she obviously loves her child and is being protective.

also what the heck happened to Approved Schools? We lived in fear of being sent to one of those for even minor transgressions.

Anyone who says she handled this wrong was most likely bullied by someone bullish like her. That said, I completely am on her side. These kids outside the family home are some of the most disrespectful little shytes you'll ever come across. I'm in between three schools and a large college so I'm constantly seeing their actions and I'm not ashamed to say I've had to put one or two back in line over the years.

WhiskeyLullaby

That’s the situation we have now, except that, along the way, they are also allowed to disrupt and terrify other children. My proposal doesn’t offer a solution to their problems, but to those of their victims at school.

For some, if they were removed from the shitty parenting that I suspect in the majority of cases has led to this sort of behaviour, a boarding school solution would be beneficial. For the rest, it is just about damage control.

I do think the police should have more involvement and not pass the buck to the school. Schools shouldn't be able to hide behind "we're investigating it"

You report the assault and it should be treated and investigated as such by the police and then prosecuted.

Is this not the case? Because if my child was physically assaulted, I would call the police before calling the school. The school can't stop it being investigated by the police, can they?

What a brave mama bear to threaten a small child like that. Maybe if it was the child’s parent I would understand the praise

She was doing what the bully's parents failed to do. How do you know she hasn't went down all the other proper channels before this happened?