To give DS a 'mental health' day off school?

[beethebee]

My DS11 started secondary in September. He's doing fairly well despite a packed schedule and the teachers saying that his class is pretty tough to manage. He likes his teachers and they seem to like him.

He never really gets ill and hasn't had a sick day in years, but this week he's asked if he could have a day off on Thursday. He's not pretending to be ill or anything, just says he's feeling a bit tired and meh about school and wants a day to 'get himself together'. He doesn't have any tests or work due on Thursday.

I thought the way he approached it (not trying to fake anything) was pretty mature and I'm inclined to say ok and let him stay at home on Thursday on the understanding that it's a total one-off.

AIBU?

It won’t be a one off. Unless he is ill, I would send him in.

Yes I would. Sometimes we all just need a day but make sure it's a rest day. No devices maybe a nice film and hot choc with mum on the sofa 💞

Why Thursday?

I really wouldn’t. The second school becomes optional, the more difficult conversations about school actually being compulsory become.

I’d probably want to investigate why he’s said Thursday, also. Rather than tomorrow.

Will you not be at work? It would be a straight no for mine because if I’m in they need to be in.

But surely he's just gone back after half-term? Are you sure there's not something else happening on Thursday: tests, cross-country, something he doesn't like?

YABU. Hasn’t he just had half term? Why Thursday specifically? He can get himself together at the weekend presumably? I don’t disagree with needing a rest day at times but adults that’s because our weekends aren’t particularly restful either. At 11 you can make sure he has a quiet weekend.

He has after school sports every other day except Thursday and Friday but on Friday we have someone doing some work at our house, so not a great day for peace and quiet.

Tomorrow he has team training for his favourite sport and definitely wouldn't want to miss it.

Is there any reason he cannot limp along until Saturday, and get his head together over the weekend? I mean, Thursday, Friday. . . WEEKEND!

Why Thursday?

Haven’t they just had half term? My dds have only been back two days after a week off.

I think I’d try to really get to the bottom of why he doesn’t want to go. Just not feeling like it isn’t really an excuse not to go.

Unless there’s a genuine reason, stress, bullying, being ill etc. I would send him.

But he's only been back from half term for a week, tops, hasn't he?
Anyway, it would be a big no from me anyway

I think it sets a dangerous precedent as he can then say “but you let me last week”. I’d be more inclined to have a discussion about how a lot of the time in life we have to do things we “feel a bit meh” about and why, send him to school but plan a nice activity for him at the weekend as a reward for sticking it out.

Well he has sports on Saturday too, and Sunday we're usually busy with friends so he gets days off school but not exactly relaxing doing nothing days, usually.

This morning I was feeling tired and a bit meh, but I still went to work. I wouldn't let him off what if he is ill next wk? What if he thinks he can use this tactic again? (and haven't we just had halfterm so mental health wise he has just had a break.)

No half term was a couple of weeks ago here. They're not just back.

Tomorrow he has team training for his favourite sport and definitely wouldn't want to miss it

So not that desperate to 'get himself together' then.

Nah, he's only just gone back after half term, he's taking the piss.

I honestly wouldn’t.

I would!

Mental health is so important

Missing one day of school is not a big deal

I agree with the other posters. Why Thursday, specifically? Not a long weekend?

He has just had half term, and whilst I agree that there is quite a lot of pressure on Y11s I don't think teaching anyone that when they feel a bit fed up and 'meh' they don't need to bother going into work is a great idea.

I'm a teacher and I'd quite like Thursday off - feeling a bit 'meh' about school myself. I won't do, obviously.

This is exactly the kind of contributing factor to the lack of resilience in kids these days.

He already gets two “mental health” days a week and 13 weeks a year.

YABU (and ridiculous).

In that case he’s doing too many sports! If it’s impacting on him, his school work & his health you need to scale it back. Having a day off school to facilitate days with friends & sports is ridiculous.

I will be working but could work from home on Thursday.

Not so soon after half term, no.

I think the problem then OP is that you need to make sure your DS is getting a break when he has the opportunity to have a break (I.e. after school and weekends). Filling them with extra curricular and social activities and then taking time off from school to compensate isn't really the right approach. Let him have a day "off" at the weekend