To expect a 4 year old to be able to do this?

[CandyCaneDane]

I have had particularly food poisoning over the past couple of days, needless to say it's been pretty miserable. I'm at home with DD (4) and DH is working full time. My parents live at the opposite end of the country and MIL nearby.

MIL wasn't available to help and DH couldn't take time off work without it being hassle so I parked DD in front of the TV with snacks and checked on her (when I crawled out of bed from time to time) but essentially left her to her own devices for most of the day.

I just told a friend this and they were horrified and said I absolutely needed to arrange childcare. At what age would you think your child could kind of fend for themselves for the day if you were ill? WIBU to leave her on the sofa for most of the day?

I have a 4 year old and wouldn't do that. If I was very Ill I'd take her into the bedroom with me, put up a baby gate and put a film on. I wouldn't be leaving her in another part of the house where she could end up with an injury. Atleast in a room with a gate she'd be contained. I wouldn't be happy to leave snacks for her while I slept either due to a choking risk.

I'd have taken my duvet to the sofa so I was at least in the same room. I'd expect a 4 year old to be able to cope with a couple of days of tv and pottering about with toys but not spending that much time pretty much alone.

No I wouldn’t do that at age 4

I'm a bit on the fence about this one.

I had mine with very small age gaps, so there would have been no question of me being able to leave them with TV and snacks, as the risk of one murdering another would have been too great. But if I'd just had one biddable 4 yo (more likely with a girl, IME), and if I was as sure as I could be that she couldn't get her hands on anything dangerous (unlikely, given that most parents of young children are pretty careful not to leave dangerous stuff around) I may have done the same as you, OP. And I was That Mother who never left them in the car at the petrol station, etc.

It's all very well friends telling you you 'should have got childcare' - but where does a SAHM suddenly rustle up emergency childcare when she gets food poisoning? I certainly couldn't have done, and was just lucky that it didn't happen to me when mine were younger.

I have a nearly 4 year old and I trust her to play within the house without me watching. You know your child.

No I wouldn't for the whole day, would have camped on sofa so at least in room with them

I'd have been dying on the sofa instead of bed so I'm in the same room. Staying in the bedroom with a 4 year old elsewhere isn't good imo

My son was at school 2 weeks after his 4th birthday. They are pretty capable at that age. I presume you were checking pretty often and not passed out asleep for hours.

I wouldn't do this with my 4 year old. I would flake out on the sofa in the same room if Dh couldn't take the day off

I would expect most 4 year old to be able to amuse themselves. I would however have been in the same room.

I don't think I know many 4 year olds who could do that but I have known some. Is she almost 5?

I think if you know your child, and it's been fine, then it's fine.

We trusted our kids to play in another room without much monitoring since they were pretty little. DD would probably have been OK on a sick day at home at 4, DS might have needed a little more help.

I dont think a day of watching tv on the sofa is the end of the world when you are ill, sometimes that's life. But no, I wouldn't leave a four year old downstairs on their own for the entire day, I would have stayed on the sofa and had her with me, playing on the floor etc.

No, I would want to be in same room if she was eating etc.

No I wouldn’t leave them alone downstairs

I would lay on the sofa though. That way I can still snooze whilst keeping an ear out for any trouble

I would have stayed downstairs rather than go up to bed but would expect a 4 year old to be okay with a day in with tv and snacks.

I’d have been on the sofa, I wouldn’t leave a 4 year old to fend for themselves for most of the day

I had a migraine my daughter was around 3/4 I was in the sofa I must have passed out at some point I vaguely remember her tucking me in with her blankly patting me on the head and playing while cbeebies rattled on in the background she also helped herself to the fruit bowl when she got hungry and tried to feed the cats that day was awful but she coped

As a few people have said, you know your child.
Horrible to be ill and have to watch a child 😫😫😫

I would've moved to the sofa, personally.

My 3 year old would be sensible as she’s quite capable but she’d get lonely for a full day and I’d imagine she still would in a years time. Like others I’d have decamped to a sofa downstairs. I’d also not be able to fully guarantee that she wouldn’t accidentally find something inappropriate on the tv by flicking through iplayer etc.

It depends how often you were checking on her and if you were just resting rather than sleeping. I can spend quite a lot of time upstairs doing housework, getting baby to sleep, putting laundry away etc while my just turned 5 year old is downstairs. If you were conscious and listening out for her and checking often I think this is fine. A child could choke/do something dangerous whether you are out the room for 10 minutes or an hour - either way you aren't there to see it and I wouldn't expect to monitor a 4 year old at all times in the house. Hope you are feeling better. Presumably you had to be in close proximity to the toilet otherwise I agree the couch would be preferable just so there isn't anything worrying on top of being Ill.

Three of mine would have been fine with this, although I'd have preferred to sleep on the sofa.
They've have all been taking themselves downstairs on weekend mornings to play from about three or four.
DC3 was the only one of the four who I didn't trust for very long, he was far too inquisitive and an excellent climber.

I was checking every hour and not asleep- I didn't want to vomit in front of her as thought it would upset her so was in bed with a sick bowl- very grim.

Interesting to read the responses though. At what age would you think your children would be capable of playing independently with the parent in another room?

The other end of the extreme- A baby gate for a 4 year old good god.