To expect a 4 year old to be able to do this?

[CandyCaneDane]

I have had particularly food poisoning over the past couple of days, needless to say it's been pretty miserable. I'm at home with DD (4) and DH is working full time. My parents live at the opposite end of the country and MIL nearby.

MIL wasn't available to help and DH couldn't take time off work without it being hassle so I parked DD in front of the TV with snacks and checked on her (when I crawled out of bed from time to time) but essentially left her to her own devices for most of the day.

I just told a friend this and they were horrified and said I absolutely needed to arrange childcare. At what age would you think your child could kind of fend for themselves for the day if you were ill? WIBU to leave her on the sofa for most of the day?

You can be in another room getting on with stuff from when they're wee tots. But extended periods of time alone is asking for trouble imho.

I think the fact you were awake makes a big difference and you were checking on her regularly. My daughter was 4 when she started going downstairs on a Saturday morning by herself, she’d watch tv for awhile and then I’d get up and make breakfast

I would have made a sofa den and stayed in the same room. I'm surprised she didn't come find you anyway? My son won't leave me alone for that long without wondering where I am - he's 5.

You move yourself to the sofa or the child to your room.

I would be in the same room

I think there is always the possibility of falling asleep when you are that unwell.

You are more likely to stay awake or be woken if needed downstairs.

I had to use the TV babysitter many times when I was ill, but I was always in the same room. But needing to arrange childcare? How?? The magical childcare fairy?

Unless the friend was volunteering, they were being very unreasonable.

We have a bungalow, so I would be comfortable to be in bed, with all the doors open while she was playing/watching tv.
I would probably get up and sit with her while she was eating, but having watched the little
lad next door choking on a grape, I’m prob a bit paranoid (he is fine now).

My 4 year old would have been able to entertain herself fine, and would have understood that I didn't feel well. I would have stayed on the sofa though, or had her in the bedroom with me. Where she could see me and I could see her. It's less lonely.

This is fine hun, I have a 4 year old daughter and she would quite happily watch telly, play with her toys etc if I wasn’t well. She can also help herself to fruit and yogurts and get a cup of water. They’re quite accomplished at this age. How you feel better soon. It’s the worst being I’ll with littles ones to look after

I think I would've moved to be in the same room as her, or had her come and cuddle in bed with you.

So on balance I think YABU but I don't blame you either!

Where do people think one can magic up childcare from, what a stupid comment

Nothing wrong with what you did. You kept checking on her and prevented her from seeing you being sick. Nothing untoward happened despite all the worries of this group. Hope you are feeling better.

Mine would be fine but would most likely come and up and see me every 5 minutes so would be easier to die on the sofa! You know your own child so I think it's fine.

Sorry I don't think its ok to leave her downstairs while you sleep! I would have slept on the sofa instead.

I would have decamped to the sofa. Or if that was a long way from the bathroom set her up with some toys and a tablet in the bedroom. I wouldn't have left her in another room.

Being ill with a child is shit.

So my DS is 4 and would be fine with the telly on for a while if I was ill but he wouldn't just play on his own all day. He'd get bored and come and find me so he could have a chat with me and tell me what he was doing. So I'd probably try and get someone to watch him if I was really that ill or just sit with him on the sofa. I wouldn't worry about him getting into trouble or doing something dangerous, he's very capable and sensible, but he would want to talk to me and check I was ok.

Would have dragged my wretched corpse downstairs with my duvet and watched cbeebie crap with with her.

Absolutely unreasonable to leave her with food, children that age should not be left eating without supervision, coming from a paed nurse whose seen the sad cases in A&E.

My almost four year old would be totally fine. He can get his own cereal for breakfast and turn on the telly by himself (only allow this at weekends as otherwise he'd be downstairs from 5am every day!) It depends on your child. However like PP said it's likely he would be upstairs every 5 minutes to let me know what was happening on cbeebies, or to show me a duplo creation.

Wow, you’re all so lucky my son is six and hates being on his own for very long - there’s no way I could’ve done this.
If DC was happy and didn’t feel lonely or neglected then imo it’s fine OP - so long as you’re continuously checking in on them as you say.

I did similar with mine from four years old. I get migraines where all I can do is vomit in a dark room. You know your own child best xxx

Honestly depends on the child but I really don’t really see a big problem with that. —I was left for hours downstairs at that age without being checked on for ages—.

Erm. Not sure if this is because I'm not in England but my daughter has occasionally been alone in another room since she was about 3. And similarly, when I've been really Ill, she's had to watch TV all day. Felt guilty but the guilt didn't top getting up with 40 degree fever or similar. Not sure if it's because of that she is very independent or perhaps she was independent before and therefore she's OK to be alone in the other room.

Crumbs all your children sound very soft, you can leave most 2 year olds to their own devices in your house as long as they know where you are and you’re close by. Assuming your house is properly safeguarded anyway, if you can’t leave a 2 year old in a room without them being exposed to potential danger, they shouldn’t be there anyway!