To expect a 4 year old to be able to do this?

[CandyCaneDane]

I have had particularly food poisoning over the past couple of days, needless to say it's been pretty miserable. I'm at home with DD (4) and DH is working full time. My parents live at the opposite end of the country and MIL nearby.

MIL wasn't available to help and DH couldn't take time off work without it being hassle so I parked DD in front of the TV with snacks and checked on her (when I crawled out of bed from time to time) but essentially left her to her own devices for most of the day.

I just told a friend this and they were horrified and said I absolutely needed to arrange childcare. At what age would you think your child could kind of fend for themselves for the day if you were ill? WIBU to leave her on the sofa for most of the day?

I think it depends on the 4 year old.

I've done this no way would dd touch the cooker etc nor would she climb.

Accidents of course happen but they can happen at any time. Dd pottered around watching TV, drawing and playing in her bedroom with her toys.

She helped herself to snacks and drinks from the fridge and was absolutely fine

Hope you are feeling better OP and that DH is home so that you can get some proper rest. I think it's one of those situations that you just get through the best you can.

I had a sofa day (and night) when I had a toddler and newborn in similar circs as DH was away on a course. It was hideous.

My 4 year old would be totally fine with this.

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat not extreme in this circumstance. If I was so ill I was asleep most of the day I'd want to know she was safe. Which is what I thought the OP was saying in her first post. I didnt realise she ment just in bed.

I happily get on with housework in other rooms for a long while. I have no issues with being in a different part of the house at all. But being so ill you're in bed all day and ay risk of sleeping much of it away then I wouldn't be happy with that. Its a different situation to normal life.

Hmm, I've done similar but room from same level. Tho at weekend might leave them for a couple of hours whilst I'm upstairs.

Mine would be fine but I've twins so safety in numbers and despite making a mess they're pretty good.

That issue about eating though has scared me a bit, mine regularly eat without me supervising, otherwise how do you get stuff done. Each meal in my house takes an hour, in a morning I'm getting ready for work.

4 is fine, you were in the house

You should have been on the sofa with a sick bucket.

It depends. You know your child. And you know just how ill you were.

Generally speaking, none of mine needed entertaining - they were all pretty good in their own company and happy to play with whatever toys were out. They would have been fine pottering about on their own for and hour if I was flaked out on the sofa with a headache or something. But there was one occasion when I do remember having the flu when DD2 was 4. I felt so poorly that I had to call DH to come home to look after us both - I didn't feel confident to leave her when I was so ill. I genuinely thought I was dying. I dragged myself to the girl's bedroom and crawled into DD1s (she was at school) bed and put DD2 into her own bed next to me and waited for DH to get home.

Bless her - she thought it was night time and went to sleep.

let's be realistic, if you fall asleep on the sofa when unwell, your kid will likely decide to go and play upstairs and won't be on the same level anyway

You should have been on the sofa with a sick bucket.

If we are talking of shoulds, her DH should have taken the day off.

her DH should have taken the day off

yes, because that's always so easy for people to take random time off just like that

If she was ok, it was ok. Sometimes needs must. Hope you feel better.

On another note, by age 4, it's useful if they know how to use a phone and call someone if they are unable to wake up their parent.

I don't see a problem with it. If they know where you are and you can hear them it's fine imho

I'm confident that my 3 year old would be fine with that. She wouldn't actually do it without coming to see me every 45 seconds to tell me what she's doing, but she wouldn't cause any harm to herself or anything in the house and would mostly be able to entertain herself.

I wouldn't have done this but only because my DC at that age wouldn't have given me a minutes peace to go to bed. I used to lie on the couch when I was sick but if I dared to fall asleep, I was promptly woken up [anger]. I don't think it's a big deal that you went to bed.

muppet You completely took my comment out of context, the OP should no more have been on the sofa then her dh should have taken the day off.

If someone is telling her what she should do, then they need to extend that to her dh as well.

People do not think their children sneak around their house when they are sleeping. As long as your house is secure and there is nothing dangerous lying around, you have told your child not to touch certain things, this is fine.

Mine would have entertained themselves, but I'd have wanted to be in the same room - or at least the same floor.

Recently, I was on night duty and needed to sleep during day. My ds 4 was off and could t get childcare so I made him a packed lunch and sat him at tv, he would watch tv for hours if allowed. He was grand, came up to me a couple of times but was fine. It depends on child. My older son couldn't have been left at that age as he would be up to no good.

Sometimes needs must. A day alone in front of tv won't kill them (infact is day she had a great time chilling out )

I was cycling round to my friends house (pavement only) at 4 so I think a 4 year old can amuse themselves for a few hrs. I'm sure you were checking up on them from time to time. My 4 year old will be in her room for a good amount of time without me being around her. My 4 and 6 year old go down in the morning to watch tv by themselves. It's a one off.

Some of these comments are genuinely shocking to me.
People are really aghast at the idea of their 4 year old chilling in the living room?
Done this loads of times. The main issue was boredom. Granted I’m all on one level, but still don’t see the issue.

My DSD is 5 now but I’m sure that from 4.5 she would have been ok with this. She’s a film /cartoon addict who suffers from the big people around her rationing screen time. So given the chance to spend the whole day glued to the screen she would be in heaven.

DS is almost 4 and wouldn’t have coped. He likes me beside him and playing with him all the time.

So, I would have brought blanket down to the sofa

Poor you though

It's a shame your DH couldn't take the day off to look after you/DD. It's horrible being that ill and having to keep yourself awake/move around because you are responsible for someone else. In your situation I would have done the same. I remember sharing a bedroom with my parents in a b&b when I was a kid and my dad got food poisoning and I was really upset seeing him so ill.