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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want food or drink as Christmas presents?

192 replies

Whitleyboy · 05/11/2019 18:29

What happened to people putting thought into buying Christmas presents?

My DM is pension age and absolutely detests receiving gifts of food or drink as Christmas gifts. She feels it is something you do for older people who no longer have any wants in life. It just makes her feel as if people regard her as old and past it.

I hate it too. All of a sudden I've noticed receiving the odd food/drink gift. FFS, who needs a set of 3 small pots of jam, set of 2 microwaveable Irish cream drinks or shortbread biscuits from M&S in a musical tin box. What the hell is all that about? I don't need 2 cheap mugs with a small box of drinking chocolate.

I have 2 kitchen cupboards dedicated to wine and spirits. I don't want another bottle of wine that you grabbed for ease with your supermarket food shop.

I'm not ungrateful. I'm still young-hearted and I'd prefer people to buy me some Lego or a nerf gun, an airfix model or painting by numbers than bloody food parcels. I can't be the only one can I?

Had a superb original spirograph last time. Would love an original etch-a-sketch too.

OP posts:
gobbynorthernbird · 05/11/2019 18:33

I like food and drink as gifts. But not the kind of cheap shite you're talking about.
Not that I'm saying anyone has to spend fortunes to get me an acceptable gift. Just I'd rather have 1 normal sized pot of fancy jam than 3 miniature pots of mass produced rubbish for the same price.

Applesanbananas · 05/11/2019 18:37

Yanbu at all. It's such a personal thing with tastes and preferences. And you cant really reuse the gift because its eaten up.

Fredthefrog · 05/11/2019 18:37

Do people know what you want/ would enjoy. I dont mind some food gifts. Got a cream tea in a box recently that was brilliant and have given a cake subscription which is tasty and fun. The presents just sound thoughtless so tell people what your really like and make it easy for them to get something you'd enjoy.

Drum2018 · 05/11/2019 18:38

I love M&S shortbread but apart from that I wouldn't thank you for food and I don't drink so a bottle of wine would be an insult. I wouldn't say no to a box of celebrations/heroes but wouldn't want roses or quality street.

MereDintofPandiculation · 05/11/2019 18:38

I'd sooner have something anodyne and apparently without thought than something someone has clearly put a lot of thought into and got wrong. It makes me feel so sad for the person who got it wrong (even though of course I'd never let them know they got it wrong).

toomuchtooold · 05/11/2019 18:41

If it's something nice like posh olive oil or a nice bottle of wine I would be very happy with that (and I wouldn't see it as a sign that you have no wants, just that it's difficult to find something for a solvent adult that they wouldn't already have got, if they wanted it) but those sort of Boots/supermarket hot chocolate kits are a bit shite. One's OK, but after that...

Ragwort · 05/11/2019 18:43

Make it clear what you would like, or better still stop exchanging gifts as adults. Personally I would be horrified if someone gave me a Lego set or nerf gun. Hmm. Food gifts are great, and if you don’t like them, donate them to your local Food Bank.

shearwater · 05/11/2019 18:44

YABU. Food and drink are the best gifts, as long as it's things I like. I will always eat stilton and consume wine! Maybe just ask them to stop buying for you, they might be relieved and then the present will not be wasted.

Original poster
Whitleyboy · 05/11/2019 18:45

I'd rather someone put thought in and got it wrong than bought something without having to make any effort.

I think if you are a foodie or if it is something that people know you love (like a whole box of creme eggs or curly wurly bars Grin) that would be fine but not cheese and chutney or dairy milk chocolates.

OP posts:
coconuttelegraph · 05/11/2019 18:45

Of course you aren't unreasonable ro have a preference about what you receive as gifts? I can't see anyone having a valid reason to disagree with that.

june2007 · 05/11/2019 18:47

At least they can be eaten rather then an ornament you don,t want, an item of clothing that deosn,t fir, isn,t ones style.

Original poster
Whitleyboy · 05/11/2019 18:47

@Fredthefrog

"Got a cream tea in a box recently that was brilliant and have given a cake subscription which is tasty and fun."
I've never heard of a cake subscription. Please tell me more.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/11/2019 18:49

Maybe this year someone will give you a sign for your desk saying “I’m mad, me”?

gobbynorthernbird · 05/11/2019 18:51

So you do like the idea of food gifts. Just not rubbish food gifts.

I am of the opinion that people who get you rubbish gifts will continue to do so, regardless of whether it is edible or not.

DobbyLovesSocks · 05/11/2019 18:52

If you don't like those gifts then YANBU. Would you rather have nothing? Or a gift voucher?

We have asked dh's parents for a new pan set for xmas. MIL was a bit [hmmm] but it's what we wanted. Am trying to re-do my kitchen without decorating so getting new small appliances and bits so that will help. Plus the pans we have currently we have had for years.
We have had a slow cooker in the past and a microwave.

Doilooklikeatourist · 05/11/2019 18:53

Yep , !IL always give me a bottle of champagne , I’d rather have a M&S voucher ( or Boots , Debenhams ,Next , anywhere really )

Original poster
Whitleyboy · 05/11/2019 18:54

@shearwater

"Maybe just ask them to stop buying for you, they might be relieved and then the present will not be wasted."
Believe me these people just love buying Christmas presents. They start straight away Christmas for the next year. I couldn't destroy their enjoyment of giving even though I hate the presents. The things don't go to waste. I give all unwanted items to my church for their weekly raffle.

OP posts:
Autumntoowet · 05/11/2019 18:54

I rather get food and drink than stuff that will end up in landfill.

SunnyupLands · 05/11/2019 18:56

I know this is light hearted op and the waste at Xmas can be awful.

However, I've had Xmas in so many straightened circumstances where I was grateful that anyone anywhere had got me anything.
I do feel some people, perhaps need to say... Please donate some money to charity on my behalf.

Banardos in particular do panto trips and stuff to buy impoverished dc etc.. Perhaps ask for that and put a blanket ban on gifts?

Original poster
Whitleyboy · 05/11/2019 18:59

@Ragwort
"Personally I would be horrified if someone gave me a Lego set or nerf gun. hmm."
Yes, I guess what I'm saying is that if the people gave a toss they would know what you like. I love playing with nephew and nieces' toys. It's great fun and keeps you young. Mmm, rollerblades there's an idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whitleyboy · 05/11/2019 19:01

@BertrandRussell

"Maybe this year someone will give you a sign for your desk saying “I’m mad, me”?"
I'd like that Smile

OP posts:
kenandbarbie · 05/11/2019 19:02

Yeah. You are ungrateful!

Mylifeisboring · 05/11/2019 19:04

I would rather have food or drink than half evaporated air diffuser which were bought 2 years ago in the Boots January sales.

ThriftyMcThrifty · 05/11/2019 19:04

I hate hate hate clutter so I get annoyed when people give me presents that aren’t food or drink! We should swap gifts.

katy1213 · 05/11/2019 19:05

Be thankful it's not hand cream!