AIBU to not want food or drink as Christmas presents?

[Whitleyboy]

What happened to people putting thought into buying Christmas presents?

My DM is pension age and absolutely detests receiving gifts of food or drink as Christmas gifts. She feels it is something you do for older people who no longer have any wants in life. It just makes her feel as if people regard her as old and past it.

I hate it too. All of a sudden I've noticed receiving the odd food/drink gift. FFS, who needs a set of 3 small pots of jam, set of 2 microwaveable Irish cream drinks or shortbread biscuits from M&S in a musical tin box. What the hell is all that about? I don't need 2 cheap mugs with a small box of drinking chocolate.

I have 2 kitchen cupboards dedicated to wine and spirits. I don't want another bottle of wine that you grabbed for ease with your supermarket food shop.

I'm not ungrateful. I'm still young-hearted and I'd prefer people to buy me some Lego or a nerf gun, an airfix model or painting by numbers than bloody food parcels. I can't be the only one can I?

Had a superb original spirograph last time. Would love an original etch-a-sketch too.

Willow2017

You’ve just gone with the most extreme and obvious cases. I wasn’t referring to those so 🤷🏻‍♀️

A thoughtless present is a thoughtless present. Whether it's food isn't really the point.

Yes, randomly grabbing something from the supermarket is a rubbish gift. So would randomly grabbing a gift pack in Boots. OTOH some food/drink presents are incredibly thoughful (eg for our anniversary my MIL tracked down a case of wine from the Italian village where we had our honeymoon).

DD makes food gifts for her friends - home-made fudge and cookie dough - she is 16! And they are always begging her to make more and if you tasted it, it's easy to see why! It's certainly not an old person's gift and I love that she is giving a gift that is both appreciated and consumed.

I hate food and drink presents too. I was given a nice bottle of gin and some gin glasses one year by BIL. Nice thought but if he'd bothered to ask DH he'd know I hate gin! Also chocolate. I don't really have a sweet tooth and posh chocolates are totally wasted on me. I always put a lot of thought into presents so it does irk me slightly.

I for one find christmas very expensive and extremely stressful. It is not an enjoyalbe time of year for all particularly when youre on the skint side. Just appreciate what you get and the effort someone has gone to. Even if it has been bought in the supermarket!? Who cares.
If u really feel its pointless have a word and say no gifts please. Saves people wasting their money, time and energy.

I'm really fussy with alcoholic drinks so would prefer if it people didn't buy me wine for Xmas. Unless it is one specific bottle, I'm likely to regift, everything else gives me a headache one glass in.

DH drinks port occasionally and gets about 6 bottles for Christmas. I think I've seen him have it once in the last 6 months and he didn't even finish his glass.

Food is ok for Christmas but not the jams, anything but the jams!!!

Personally I think Christmas is not far too much about consumerism and am now only buying gifts for children. As adults, we can enjoy the company, and watch children get swept up in the magic of it all. If I want things, I buy them, and don't want people to spend money on something I didn't really want that much to begin with.

I'd rather live with the possibility of receiving something I didn't like, from someone thoughtful, than reduce the process to a specific shopping list.

I love posh chocolates or biscuits as gifts.

I always gift reataurant vouchers- always goes down a treat with the receiver(s)

I like food and drink presents (as long as its something I'll enjoy obviously). My house is full of stuff and I don't need anything else so some nice quality treats are always welcome.

I don’t drink (never have) and frequently get bottles of wine from people who definitely know that.

I don’t really care.

It’s a shame that what could be a lovely traditional of gift giving just becomes so stressful for many people. Not giving a thoughtful gift doesn’t mean you are not a thoughtful person. It’s not always easy to come up with something - and that’s before you get into budgets. And you’re not thinking about ONE person, you might have 20 thoughtful gifts to come up with.

When I get a bottle of wine, how do I know the giver didn’t spend an hour trying to come up with something I’d like?

I think about the person, not the gift. Yeah - she gave me a bottle of wine that she knows I don’t drink. But - I know she’ll offer to pick up my child if I’ve got a meeting.

I don’t like the over packaged mini “gifting” food items, but as people become increasingly waste conscious, I think food and drink is an excellent choice - it can always be passed on or go to a food bank.

YANBU in some respects - its better people buy you stuff you actually want and would use rather than things that you might throw out or just shove in a cupboard.

I much prefer food and drinks presents though, and the one thing I cannot bear is "smellies" i.e. creams, bubble bath, shower gels etc. Like the huge sets you get from the Body Shop - I love the thought that went into it but its so expensive and I never use it! My mum works in a charity shop and she told me that most of their Christmas stock is unopened boxes of smellies that people have donated!

Interesting that you think thought went into it, @attillathenun
If you’re get “smellies” (straight time charity shop) I certainly never think the giver has spent any time at all choosing just the right brand or scent for me! I see it very much as a “go pick up whatever looks most expensive on the 3 for 2 for all females” thing!

I make carefully “targetted” eatable things for people. Even though I was rather taken aback by the Mumsnetters who always throw away home made things and I do hope my friends aren’t amongst them!

@ellisandra lol when I say thought I mean like they thought to buy me a gift. But yes its quite a lazy one at that and it does feel a bit like "oh women like to smell nice so we will get them bath products" generic kind of gift!

The lynx sets are the worst for men, whats special about a box with a body spray and a shower gel in it I'll never know.....

Oh that makes sense
I was chuckling that one person’s thoughtful was another person’s “grab that, it’ll do!”

My daughter bought her aunt a strawberry hand cream from Body Shop.
I actually felt compelled to tell my sister that:

• it was Body Shop as it’s my daughter’s favourite so she thinks it is ace
• she chose hand cream because she knew my sister used it
• she spent 20 minutes discussing every damn scent with me in relation to the recipient’s tastes
• she settled on strawberry as she remembered her aunt has a photo of her and her cousin aged 2, sat in a PYO strawberry field

It really was a thoughtful present! I didn’t want my sister to think it was just something I’d regifted “from her” when so much thought actually went into it!

Last year my extended family agreed to all buy adults something from a charity shop (secret santa style buying for one person with a budget). It was great! Money to a charity and if you didn't like what got got then just give back to the shop. Most of us got books/records/fairtrade choc.

I don't mind a food gift too much but I'm also quite fussy. Really gone off fizz lately and I'm usually trying to eat healthily and avoid chocolate.

Really gift giving is usually way over the top at Christmas with people wasting money and time buying random stuff to give to recipients who don't really want it. I'm even struggling to think of things my kids want this year. I am such a scrooge lately! I'd prefer it to be more like Easter with a nice family meal but less pressure.