AIBU to not want food or drink as Christmas presents?

[Whitleyboy]

What happened to people putting thought into buying Christmas presents?

My DM is pension age and absolutely detests receiving gifts of food or drink as Christmas gifts. She feels it is something you do for older people who no longer have any wants in life. It just makes her feel as if people regard her as old and past it.

I hate it too. All of a sudden I've noticed receiving the odd food/drink gift. FFS, who needs a set of 3 small pots of jam, set of 2 microwaveable Irish cream drinks or shortbread biscuits from M&S in a musical tin box. What the hell is all that about? I don't need 2 cheap mugs with a small box of drinking chocolate.

I have 2 kitchen cupboards dedicated to wine and spirits. I don't want another bottle of wine that you grabbed for ease with your supermarket food shop.

I'm not ungrateful. I'm still young-hearted and I'd prefer people to buy me some Lego or a nerf gun, an airfix model or painting by numbers than bloody food parcels. I can't be the only one can I?

Had a superb original spirograph last time. Would love an original etch-a-sketch too.

So ungrateful

Why don't you send a list to Santa ? And get upset when friends and family don't buy it , like a 5 year old would ?

I don't like food and drink gifts and would never give such a gift myself. They are one of those not given much thought/easy/lazy presents that you might get from your boss his sectarary

Posted too soon.

The upside of getting food and drink is that you get to eat lots of chocolate and get pissed 😁🍷

You can’t buy decent Lego set for £10 but you can get nice box of chocolates.

I'd rather have food than the usual bloody toiletries gift sets people who don't know me well normally get me.

When giving, I admit I consider chocolate a reasonably 'safe' option. Unless you're allergic or diabetic, does anyone really not like chocolate?

The best thing people can get me is book vouchers or Amazon vouchers.

I'm not keen on food gifts and don't find toiletries or handcream very inspiring.

I Love Lego .....thats all

As an AFOL I agree YANBU.
I'd take any tiny Lego set or even just a Minifig (because they have some useful accessories & my city could always use a few new citizens) over a food/toiletries gift any day of the week.
It doesn't matter what the set makes as long as it's not a police or fire set (there is only so much you want to build using bright red or blue car parts) as I'd be splitting it up for parts for MOCs anyway.

If I wanted a strangely shaped bottle of oil with some random stems of whatever in it, tiny jars of jam or a tin of Shortbread I'd have already purchased them.
I don't drink so I literally leave any alcohol I'm given out for the binmen.
I cannot use cheap lotions & potions so those sets also go behind the bin in a carrier (the binmen take what they want & chuck the rest, have been doing this for years so they know what's going on)

I agree, OP. Food and drink gifts are depressing, they do seem thoughtless, and they do make you feel old (unless they are expensive, true luxury food and drink gifts that you actually like). I really hate getting bloody hampers, or those stupid miniature pots of jam.

Even worse though ... and the ultimate "oh god, I am old now" present ... a pot plant. I got my first one three years ago, and it made me want to hide in corner and whimper.

I love a decent bottle of gin, a restaurant voucher or a fancy box of chocs as a gift and I’m not old. Yanbu to have a preference but I don’t think food gifts are just for pensioners.

Lol my family tend to give me food gifts for Christmas and then open them ‘for a taste’

greenlynx I don't know where you go shopping for Lego but the official Lego Store has loads of sets for a tenner or less. The adorable scarecrow Brickheadz is £9.99. Lovely to see so many fellow afols on here.

Oh and before someone says "why don't you buy a £9.99 Lego set yourself if you want it that badly" - well because I usually don't have a spare tenner to just buy something because I want it. It must be a great life to have the money to just buy what you want when you want but I don't. Gifts should be about the person who you are buying for. My family know I like Lego /crafts /books so they ask if there is any particular things I want. I know their general budget so I don't say I want a £200 Lego set but a particular £20 one.
Why is it for children it's fine for wish lists so they get something they want and will use but for adults it is "smile and be grateful for this random bottle of wine even though I never drink".

I find Xmas present shopping so difficult for some people.

My step mother likes gin so I often get her a nice bottle of gin....which I Hope counts as thoughtful.

My SIL is very hard to buy for. She’s not into anything, no interests that I’m aware of. So sometimes I get her chocolates, got her some nice gloves from Joules one year.

In the past I’ve got her a set of “smellies”, but that’s frowned upon/sneered at on MN.

Last year my OH gave me a bottle of fine Greek olive oil, some imported Ras el Hanout and a jar of Spanish Saffron. I was delighted.

OP I think you need to lower your expectations of people, I doubt your friends and family have time to be noticing what material gloves you wear or that your coin purse is looking scruffy. I'm sure there are some people who do notice things like that but I imagine they are in the minority. Also it sounds like these people are buying for lots of others which makes the task of thinking about a unique and personable gift a massive and stressful task, who has time or head space for that? I always see gift giving as a token/symbol of love, it's not the item itself but the fact someone has spent there hard earned cash to surprise/treat you. Also with the current awareness over plastic and waste I would brace yourself for more edible gifts this year!

@ Footiefan2019 One is fine.

Ha, wait till your family give you flowers for your birthday- that’s definitely a sign of aging! I don’t think there is anything particularly different about the food items you’ve mentioned compared to a lot of “gifts for the sake of gifts” like toiletries sets. Its all stuff that is generic, that some will love and some will not.

I like food and drink as gifts because you use them and they’re gone, and I dont need to find permanent cupboard space for them. But I guess quality is important here.
I love wine, champagne, nice olive oil, truffle oil etc - not those cheap gift sets you describe.

BarbaraofSeville you asked why I give a list of suggestions for presents that I couldn't afford to buy for myself yet I am buying presents anyway so I have the money (or words to that affect). Well here is an amazing concept for you - people have different income levels and amounts of money for Christmas presents! Yes that's right. Different amounts of money! Wow amazing. My parents for example can quite easily (and happily will do) buy me a gift that is £20. Me on the other hand can't so I spend less. They know that. I know that.

My sister has asked for only small presents this year as that is all she will be giving.She wants edible or useful items.
I will be thoughtful about what edible items I get her.

My dreaded present is yet another candle! I would rather have food or drink any day.

YANBU. For the past 10 years, in lieu of a bonus my boss has given me a bottle of fancy champagne for my Christmas and Birthday despite knowing I don't drink. Other colleagues have told him I don't drink alcohol. His attitude is that I can give it away to someone who does drink.

Pair that with a colleague who also knows I don't drink alcohol but who insists we do Christmas and birthday gifts and who always gets me a bottle of Prosescco. Its sheer laziness on her behalf. She picks up a crate of Prosecco and hands them out basically so she can get lots of gifts for herself. Her attitude is also "well give it to someone who wants it". The majority of my family are Muslim so it's often difficult to shift.

I also have Coeliac Disease and so can't eat most of the food gifts I am given. Again, the attitude is "I know you can't eat these but you probably know someone who can". So...what's the point? It isn't a gift for me, is it? And I've went out of my way to buy a thoughtful present for the other person. I would prefer just not to do gifts (or if my Boss would give me a gift card instead of the Champagne,) but I suppose the other parties don't want to stop because its not them that get useless gifts for every occasion.

On the plus side local charities are never short of bottles for the tombola.

Non gift agreements are the way forward. No one feels short changed, no one gets loads of crap they don't want, food they don't eat. I seriously cannot remember the last gift I opened and felt truly excited by it - I would always choose something better for myself, I often wonder what was going through their heads when they bought it - probably "that will do" - and honestly I'm not grateful - inwardly I just wish the gift giving would stop.