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Original poster

Travelling at 36 weeks preg for Christmas

192 replies

jodes7001 · 05/11/2019 16:26

Hi all - just wanted some advice. I am going to be 36 weeks preg the week of Christmas (first time pregnancy), and my partner wants me to go to very rural Scotland (rural Highlands, west coast) where his family lives for the holiday. I am very nervous about travelling that far at 36 weeks and being physically uncomfortable for a 10-12hr drive in possibly bad weather conditions and not near my hospital. He and his family are saying I am worrying too much and it's very unlikely I will go into labour and I will be fine, and that they are about 30 miles from a hospital.

My family are in Los Angeles, so I am staying in the UK this year.

Am I overreacting by wanting to stay in London 4 weeks before my due date? Thanks for any advice! xx

OP posts:
mencken · 05/11/2019 16:28

most of us in not-London live 30 miles from a hospital. That said, the long drive in a huge state of pregnancy would be more of an issue and that's an entirely valid argument.

if your partner is really such, he won't want you to be uncomfortable.

Happyspud · 05/11/2019 16:30

They are near a hospital and you are remaining in the UK (meaning you will be able to get home without postpartum travel restrictions and passport issues) so I’d be ok with it personally. I flew home at 36 weeks on one pregnancy and took more risk myself. The 10-12 hr car journey however MIGHT make me cancel. My 4th pregnancy had me in bits, literally unable to sit or move much so if you’re feeling horrifically immobile it might not be the best from that perspective.

Mummyme87 · 05/11/2019 16:34

I travelled on my own to other end of the country at 37/38weeks first time and as a family at 37weeks second time.
I would say the discomfort of the drive would be the biggest issue, but if you do a couple of stops may be okay

AliBear90 · 05/11/2019 16:39

My first baby was born at 35 weeks following an entirely healthy pregnancy so I wouldn’t risk this personally. 30 miles doesn’t sound awful but depends how long those 30 miles would take to drive with the weather conditions etc. Also what if you went into labour on the journey? Hopefully you’d find a hospital on time but it wouldn’t be ideal would it? I’d stay put personally. And I’d expect my partner to accept and support that decision.

MsTSwift · 05/11/2019 16:42

No way. I refused to go to a family weekend away when 37 weeks. Was met with a few eye rolls. Waters broke on the Saturday morning of that weekend and ended up with emergency c section would have been way more stressful in a random holiday cottage! Dd2 born at 35 weeks so always come down on the stay near home from 32 weeks side of these debates

ColdRainAgain · 05/11/2019 16:43

I'd say the biggest issue would be the drive length.
I did similar with both my pregnancies- but only 3 hrs away.
If you do go, pack a hospital bag, and take the car seat.

Not sure it would be any better, but is the train a possibility?

YouTheCat · 05/11/2019 16:43

Not a hope I'd do that. The journey will be awful. It'll probably take a lot longer than you think due to possibly having to stop a lot more often for toilet breaks if baby is on your bladder.

You probably won't go into labour but I couldn't think of anything worse than being away from home comforts when you are almost at term.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/11/2019 16:45

A 10-12 hour drive at 36 weeks is a ridiculous ask. I had awful sciatica at that stage with both of my pregnancies, so I would have been in agony being in a car that long. I think your husband and his parents are being total fuckwits.

YouTheCat · 05/11/2019 16:46

Also, once you get into the more remote areas there is nowhere to stop and pee anyway so you'd behaving a pee in a bush whilst huge and it'll be freezing.

RandomMess · 05/11/2019 16:46

Hmm I went away around then with my first pregnancy think I was 37/38 but I was happy with it and that's what matters.

PotteringAlong · 05/11/2019 16:46

Distance from hospital? Not an issue.
12 hour drive at 36 weeks? And then clearly back again? No no no.

Chocolatelover45 · 05/11/2019 16:47

I would not want to drive more than 3 hours at 36 weeks. Distance from hospital also a fair way - if you did go into labour it could be a very painful hour's drive! Then you'd have to get home with a newborn in a car seat. I would decline

StatisticallyChallenged · 05/11/2019 16:50

No chance would I be doing that. You might well be tired and uncomfortable by then, and that long in the car could be hellish. Also, have you checked what facilities the local rural hospital has? The 30 miles away hospital may only have a MLU or similar which might not be what you need depending on circumstances.

Otavis · 05/11/2019 16:51

It's irrelevant what anyone else would do, OP. I was flying back and forth between the UK and another country for work twice a week until I went on maternity leave, and had had antenatal care in both countries in case I went into labour in either -- but if you don't want to do this, and the idea of the long car journey and potentially giving birth in a strange place distresses you, then you should absolutely say no. I don't think anyone should have anything to say to it apart from you. It's your body, your pregnancy, and you who will be giving birth around Christmas/the New Year, therefore 100% your call.

Even if you were guaranteed that you would not go into labour ahead of your due date, you are perfectly within your rights simply to not fancy a long car journey at 36 weeks, or not to want to be plunged into sociability if you'd rather have your final Christmas as non-parents solo in London.

FrowningFlamingo · 05/11/2019 16:51

I was similarly pregnant at the same time last year and absolutely refused to go anywhere.
Each to their own but I couldn’t think of anything worse than giving birth in a hospital I wasn’t familiar with. I didn’t have an entirely straightforward pregnancy though.

nononever · 05/11/2019 16:52

Absolutely no way, that would be a hellish journey for you. Not to mention rural Scottish Highlands can often mean snow. I wouldn't even consider a 12 hour car journey and I'm not pregnant.

lyingwanker · 05/11/2019 16:54

It's the 10-12 hour drive that would make it a no from me. I don't think that's something I'm prepared to do without being pregnant so definitely not in the last few weeks. I've had 4 babies and just couldn't sit comfortably in the last month of pregnancy. And I'm no wimp, I worked a hard, heavy night shift until late on and also went on a couple of late holidays with 4hr flights

AJPTaylor · 05/11/2019 16:55

Aw bollocks to that. 12 hour journey. Going to a place you don't know to a hospital you don't know. If you give birth there you still have to get you and new Born 12 hours home.

MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue · 05/11/2019 16:55

Not a chance! I will be 38 weeks pregnant with my second this Christmas and I am staying at home! The journey would be horrendous, you're away from all your home comforts and I personally would not want to be that far from a hospital so near to term. Luckily my family understand and are letting me have a low key one this year.

Janus · 05/11/2019 16:56

30 miles in a very rural place is not most people's average journey. I live 20 miles in a semi rural place and it took us nearly 45 minutes as we also had to drive slower due to extreme contractions. That with the 10 hour car journey (with possibly a newborn, would take much longer for the feed stops etc) would put me off. Trying to find an unknown hospital etc. I know the chances are slim but I also know a few people who’ve had children at 33 weeks on.

ChocolateTeapot1 · 05/11/2019 16:57

I was never precious over being pregnant (worked commuting by train an hour away up to 36 weeks and 38 weeks pregnant) but I wouldn’t have wanted to sit in a car for hours and hours at 36 weeks. I was 38 weeks pregnant over Christmas with my first baby, I was so uncomfortable and not sleeping I didn’t want to go anywhere or do anything, even by 36 weeks I was really struggling. I’d not want to be with family so full-on either that pregnant. I’d say no just because of feeling comfortable and not wanting to move, before you get into the being miles from a hospital etc.

Taswama · 05/11/2019 17:00

No way.
Journey is too long and I’d want to be at my local hospital. My dc2 arrived at 36 weeks.

theydontknowweknow · 05/11/2019 17:01

I'm currently 36 weeks and there's no way I'd be able to travel for that length of time, my travel sickness seems to have come back too which doesn't help.

I'm at the point now where i'd much rather be at home

Myshinynewname · 05/11/2019 17:02

Nope! Absolutely no chance. I went camping in Wales at 36 weeks pregnant so I don’t think I’m overly cautious, but a 12 hour drive sounds awful. And imagine how long it would take you to drive home with a newborn - 2 hour limit for baby in car seat without a break, hourly feeds and nappy changes??!
Also a 30 mile drive in North East Scotland is not going to be 25 minutes on a motorway, it’s going to be more like an hour on country lanes. Particularly at that time of year it could be a very long drive to hospital if you went into labour.

sunshinesupermum · 05/11/2019 17:04

No you are NOT being unreasonable to want to be near home at 36 weeks. And a 12 hour drive? Heaven knows what the weather might be like then in the middle of the Scottish Highlands?

DD1 was in a similar situation 4 years ago and they stayed home instead of driving to Wales (a mere 4 hours) DGS arrived early!