Travelling at 36 weeks preg for Christmas

[jodes7001]

Hi all - just wanted some advice. I am going to be 36 weeks preg the week of Christmas (first time pregnancy), and my partner wants me to go to very rural Scotland (rural Highlands, west coast) where his family lives for the holiday. I am very nervous about travelling that far at 36 weeks and being physically uncomfortable for a 10-12hr drive in possibly bad weather conditions and not near my hospital. He and his family are saying I am worrying too much and it's very unlikely I will go into labour and I will be fine, and that they are about 30 miles from a hospital.

My family are in Los Angeles, so I am staying in the UK this year.

Am I overreacting by wanting to stay in London 4 weeks before my due date? Thanks for any advice! xx

YABU, you'll be very unlikely to either go into labour ( and even if you do, it won't shoot out like a greased penguin you know ! You will have time to travel to hospital / midwife unit. ) as most first pregnancies deliver after their due date.

My first was 2 weeks early and arrived within 5 hours - I know others who’s labours were shorter. What ‘most’ pregnancies are like is irrelevant - you need to look at possibilities not probabilities. Saying it’s ‘very unlikely’ just seems bonkers to me - plenty of people do give birth before 40 weeks and plenty of labours are just a few hours, even if it’s not ‘most’. It’s hardly unheard of.

'I don't need to ask my midwife, because I've decided that I am not comfortable with making that journey to that location at that stage of pregnancy'.'

Dismissed? And pressured by your DP, who at this stage should be absolutely seeing it as his job to support you in every way he can?

I always say this on these threads when I see 'DP' - give the baby your surname. Goes double when the bloke can't even side properly with you over his family before you've even given birth!

Just tell them you've asked your midwife and they've said it's not a good idea

I am a midwife and I would caution against going. I did go on a journey to see family at 36 weeks pregnant but it was 3 hours and we stopped once mainly for me to have a wee it was absolutely fine but a much much shorter journey of course and I wanted to go.

10-12 hours in a car will be horribly uncomfortable and you risk DVT. If you wanted to go I'd advise some TEDs stockings and frequent rest stops but if you didn't I'd happily say I advise against and write it in your notes so you could show any difficult family members

Fuck no. At 36 weeks pregnant you want to be comfortable, in your own space, able to relax fully, near to your chosen birthing location, etc
not staying away from home and far from an (altogether unfamiliar to you) hospital.
It's not just about the possibility of going into labour early either (which can and does happen!) but what if you have reduced movement, or PROM, etc. We have a scan at 36 weeks in my area too - will you potentially miss any antenatal appointments?
The car journey would be hideous (for most women) at that gestation too.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think of pregnancy as an illness that should stop you doing things you want to do... so if you had posted saying you were keen to go I would have said find a way (get cleared to fly maybe?) BUT you don't seem keen at all so I think you should stick with your guns and say "thanks but no thanks" - if your partner pushes the issue then he is a dick.

Also this will be your last childless Christmas, so I'd be wanting to enjoy it as much as possible.

Good luck OP! I was 36 weeks pregnant last Christmas, it was a lovely exciting time.

Why should a woman a week away from full-term pregnancy have to do a journey not expected of the in-law's dog?

By 36 weeks, most women are at the least uncomfortable or worse. The chances of spontaneous labour are not the highest, but certainly not negligable, and it is the stage that a pattern of worries over movement/ growth etc can result in induction. Going to an area with much less accessible healthcare is a folly.

The 15 minute drive to hospital while rapidly dilating with DS2 was horrid. I remember hissing to DH to slow down, opened my eyes and realised he was only doing 20mph . After birth 1 (EMCS) a 2+ hour drive was my physical limit of sitting still by 6 weeks. After birth 2 (nasty tear) I didn't leave the house for anything non-essentially medical for a month.

Baby 1 was due a few days before Christmas, so we had a quiet one at home as there was no way of knowing what stage of pregnancy/birth/ post-natal we'd be at. It was a lovely, quiet day at home with a very new baby and dinner delivered by some local friends

YABU, you'll be very unlikely to either go into labour ( and even if you do, it won't shoot out like a greased penguin you know ! You will have time to travel to hospital / midwife unit. ) as most first pregnancies deliver after their due date.

Haha, exactly what my midwife told me when l was asking advice about exactly the same trip at 37 weeks, rural Scotland, first baby. DC was born 3 days after she told me l will absolutely not be going into labour anytime soon. I was still in the hospital on the day we were supposed to travel.

Thank goodness we did not go, PILs house and surrounding roads flooded and we would have been properly stuck.

Don’t go OP, not worth the risk.

. The long drive would be the main issue here I think and at this stage of pregnancy last thing you would want is to be uncomfortable. You should be your First priority and if your not comfortable then I would speak to ur partner and explain. I'm sure he would understand and would put ur comfort over anything else :)

“Your”

A 12-hour journey would be a no for me. You'll need compression stockings for sure.
I'm going home for Christmas at 35 weeks but it's a comfortable 1-hour flight (so less than what I would spent in the M25 ).

I gave birth just after xmas at 36.5 weeks. At home, with paramedics (no time for hospital). Baby was dinky but totally fine.
It can happen - I had no inkling at all, was looking forward to a few weeks mat leave before baby to get stuff sorted and then 25 mins from first contraction I had a baby.

I wouldn't go personally. Apart from any thing, a long journey at that stage of pregnancy will be far from comfortable.

Mine basically did shoot out like a greased penguin.

I had very quick labours as well. It’s disgraceful for anyone to expect a heavily pregnant woman to sit in a car for 12 hours.

God no I wouldn't do that. I went into labour with my first just before 36 weeks.
And even if there's a hospital nearby that wouldn't have satisfied me at all- I didn't want to give birth in a random hospital, I wanted to labour at home calmly and then go to the hospital/birth centre I was familiar with.

How ignorant to state that everything will be fine! Babies, DO come early, some even DO come out like a greased penguin, some roads up there have snow gates that get shut, so you have to go the long way around.

OP I'm glad you've decided not to go. They (partner and his family) sound like entitled bullies. I suspect this is just the start of the problems you'll have with them, especially as your partner (I can't call him dear) is putting them ahead of you, the mother of his child.

Have a chat with your midwife, if your partner's not with you for your appointment, and ask if she'll put it on your notes that you shouldn't travel, as the midwife pp above mentioned. Then, if they still won't accept your answer, you've got that from a medical professional to show them.

NEVER allow them to bully you.

Good luck.

Noway stop talking dangerous nonsense. Mine was born at 35 weeks fast 4 hours from pains to birth.

You'll be fine..
As if no one in the Highlands gives birth you'd probably get more care!

So, Horehound, the increased risk of DVT due to a 10/12 hour car journey shouldn't be a factor in her decision? And she should disregard the advice from various medical professionals on this thread?

"Thanks for invite in laws, but I spoke to my midwife and she said absolutely no (fucking) way! Completely advises against it. She said: it will be incredibly uncomfortable for me, plus I could go into labour early - even mid journey there or back, there could be complications and the journey to hospital could be treacherous. What a risk to take, ay?! And what if I do give birth here?! How would we get a newborn home? They can't spend that long in a car seat and they need constant feeding. Not to mention if there are any complications with the birth! Yep, she really put the wind up me. And all my friends thought I was absolutely crazy to even consider it! Ha ha! Feel silly myself now... can u imagine?! So no way unfortunately... never mind. Anywho..."

Rinse and repeat.

The response was 'well we have the dog..." which obviously is irritating to me to think of the dog, but not have thought how uncomfortable of a position that would put me in.

Oh. My. God.

I had my first at just barely 37 weeks. So no, definitely not. It’s not about being in a rural area 30 miles from hospital (I live in a rural area and had 2 home births so didn’t even go to hospital!). It’s about being far from home when you really should be resting and nesting and spending time together as a couple. Take a weekend a month before and go see the in laws and have a quiet Christmas close to home.

noway You’d have to drive 90 mph to do 30 miles in 20 minutes. Don’t think you can ‘easily’ do that whilst in labour!!!

No way!

It isn't just that you would be in a remote area and have an uncomfortable journey, but you also seem to be surrounded by people who minimize your rightful anxiety and sense of discomfort.

I never expected to be the mother of a preemie--I did everything right and my first child was two weeks late. But these things happen. The most important thing you can do in the next two months is protect your well-being and the well-being of the child you want to bring into the world. And P.S.: Your in-laws' dog can fuck right off.