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AIBU?

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Original poster

Travelling at 36 weeks preg for Christmas

192 replies

jodes7001 · 05/11/2019 16:26

Hi all - just wanted some advice. I am going to be 36 weeks preg the week of Christmas (first time pregnancy), and my partner wants me to go to very rural Scotland (rural Highlands, west coast) where his family lives for the holiday. I am very nervous about travelling that far at 36 weeks and being physically uncomfortable for a 10-12hr drive in possibly bad weather conditions and not near my hospital. He and his family are saying I am worrying too much and it's very unlikely I will go into labour and I will be fine, and that they are about 30 miles from a hospital.

My family are in Los Angeles, so I am staying in the UK this year.

Am I overreacting by wanting to stay in London 4 weeks before my due date? Thanks for any advice! xx

OP posts:
FlamingoQueen · 05/11/2019 17:04

I went from the South West to Scotland for a funeral at 36 weeks. We ended up staying for a wedding that originally we’d said no to, due to pregnancy. The journey was ok, frequent pee stops! We were fairly near a hospital, but it didn’t worry me. I suppose I was lucky. If you want to go, then go. If you don’t, don’t! Worse case scenario is that they have to send an Air Ambulance out to you or you may actually have a lovely relaxing time.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 05/11/2019 17:07

YANBU

At 36 weeks my hips had spread and I could barely walk. Was very uncomfortable and spent most of the time beached on the sofa.

Plus, rural Scottish roads can be slow going at the best of times, in December there's a fair chance you might get snow. Personally, if it was me, I definitely wouldn't want to risk a rush along twisty-turny, snowy roads to hospital with contractions going apace....

embarassednewname · 05/11/2019 17:10

There's a good chance you'll be very very uncomfortable, sitting in a car for 10 hours is uncomfortable for most of us, cannot even imagine it heavily pregnant!! Your DP is an absolute dick for putting pressure on you like this.

DuchessMustard · 05/11/2019 17:15

My kids were born at 36 and 37 weeks, and both very quickly. So no, I wouldn't dream of doing this.

(I wouldn't go to the fucking Scottish Highlands in December even not pregnant, though.)

Purpleartichoke · 05/11/2019 17:15

You’ve got four big issues

  1. the drive will likely be uncomfortable
  2. will you have comfortable sleeping and bathing conditions. Being on a fold out couch or waiting for your turn For the facilities will not be fun
  3. if you do go into labor, you don’t get to go to the hospital you prepared for. If you have met staff, taken a tour, etc, those things can help make you more comfortable
  4. newborns are not supposed to spend more than 20 minutes or so in a car seat at a time. It will take a very long time to drive home if you have the baby early.
Motoko · 05/11/2019 17:16

No way would I do that. 12 hours in a car while 36 weeks pregnant, is madness. If you did have the baby early, it would also mean the baby would be stuck in the car seat for that journey too.
And 30 miles to hospital, in the rural Highlands, when roads could be closed due to snow?

Nope.

Don't let them bully you into going OP. You're not being unreasonable, you're actually being sensible, and it's YOU who is pregnant, so they can't tell you whether you'll be fine or not.

Stick to your guns.

Shmithecat2 · 05/11/2019 17:19

I flew a 7hr flight at 36 weeks. Problem free pregnancy 🤷🏻‍♀️. You can take breaks on the car journey. I lived 40 mins drive from the hospital I gave birth in, so the distance to the hospital in your scenario wouldn't majorly bother me either.

OccasionalNachos · 05/11/2019 17:23

Nope, don’t do it. I’ll be 36 weeks at Xmas too & anyone who wants to see me or spend time with me will be coming to my house Smile

OytheBumbler · 05/11/2019 17:24

I wouldn't but I got terrible restless legs and feet during the later stages of my pregnancies. Car journey's were torture for me.

FluffytheGoldfish · 05/11/2019 17:25

Which hospital are we talking about? Does it even have a full maternity unit or is it midwife led unit and a possibility of needing transferred if there is a issue? How good are the roads in the snow/ice. Are the roads single lane or dual carriageway? Is there a snow gate that might be closed and you would have to go the long way round?
And that is before you talk about the ridiculousness of travelling 10-12 hours.

Howyiz · 05/11/2019 17:27

Honestly, I would sit back, relax and enjoy the last Christmas before having a child. So, if your idea of fun is going to Scotland, do that, if it isn't then stay at home and do something you want to do.
Whether it is doable or not isn't the issue.

fluffyjumper · 05/11/2019 17:30

Not a chance I would do this.

  1. Lots of babies come at 36 weeks. (Is this what his family are secretly wishing)
  2. The journey would be so uncomfortable.
  3. I was totally nocturnal at 36 weeks in my last pregnancy, I used to get up and watch tv, make food and bump around the house.
  4. I would want to enjoy some alone with my dh before baby is born.
  5. Any complications or new symptoms I would want to see my community midwife team, not some strange team.
What are your risks of pre eclampsia? Would you be happy stuck in hospital in Scotland waiting for the baby? Remember that journey will zap your energy and potentially you will still have 5 weeks of lack of sleep to contend with.
Kbrooke08932 · 05/11/2019 17:36

Hi,

30 miles itself isn’t an issue, it’s more journey time in that part of the UK.

However the long car journey is an issue, lots of toilet stops will make the journey even longer and really uncomfortable. Also if something happens and baby is born up there the recommended time a baby should spend in a car seat is 2 hours. That makes the journey home even worse! I have read somewhere for a newborn it is potentially less.

I did a 9 hour drive to Cornwall when my firstborn was 5 months old and he hated being in a car seat and cried a lot! We got stuck in traffic and it was just horrendous.

At 36 weeks you would likely be fine and it should all go without a hitch but what if it doesn’t. It is the two of you (three of you) that would have to live with the consequences not the family!

TheDarkPassenger · 05/11/2019 17:36

Nope I wouldn’t. I’ve never held a baby til term and my first was earlier than my second so nope nope nope.

You need to be comfortable and not stressed!!

TheDarkPassenger · 05/11/2019 17:38

Also, genuine question for anyone, would there be any issues with the child being born in Scotland (nhs records etc.)?

I realll don’t know the answer!

Mulhollandmagoo · 05/11/2019 17:42

I gave birth at 35 weeks, so based on that I'd politely decline! Can they not come to you?

DartmoorDoughnut · 05/11/2019 17:44

I’d just be noncommittal and say you’d love to but you’ll have to decide nearer the time

megletthesecond · 05/11/2019 17:46

Yanbu. No way would I have done that.

Snow for a start.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 05/11/2019 17:47

How long will it take to travel the 30 miles if it’s rural Scotland?

keo8260 · 05/11/2019 17:47

Have you spoken to your midwife about this? I suspect her advice would be not to travel that far at that stage of pregnancy. Being sat for such a long time is not ideal in the later stages of pregnancy, 30 miles is roughly an hours journey to the hospital again not ideal, the hospital don't know you and don't have access to your full records, you don't know the hospital, if the weather turns and you can't get to hospital that's an issue, what if the hospital are full (it happens) where is the next nearest. If you have the baby early as a pp mentioned newborns cannot be in a car seat for more than 20 minutes as this can effect their breathing, that would make for a very long trip home. 36 weeks onwards is considered term so you should really be where you would be comfortable to have your baby from that point onwards.

Notonthestairs · 05/11/2019 17:49

No chance of taking a train? (book seats)

30 miles to hospital on back roads, B roads or some motorway? Do they have a maternity unit?

I'd have found 10 hours in a car at 36 weeks very uncomfortable.

Eemamc · 05/11/2019 17:52

That would be a no from me. Car journeys can be super uncomfortable at that time. I started to find longer journeys pretty painful from about 30 weeks tbh (i’m talking 2 hour journeys here, not 12). Seriously not fun. I also wanted to be closer to my own hospital at that point too. You genuinely could go into labour at that point. I would want my own bed and my own comforts at that point too. Your DP really does need to defer to you at this point.

YouTheCat · 05/11/2019 17:52

Ask your partner to sit with a large watermelon on his bladder for a few hours and see if he still thinks it's a good idea.

BabyCountDown · 05/11/2019 17:55

30 miles isn't far to a hospital for most people. However there is no way I would travel 10-12 hours when heavily pregnant! Even trying to beak the journey in half and staying over on the way somewhere it's too far to be comfortable.

I'm currently 35 weeks, I have had severe SPD for about 2 months and can barely handle 30 mins of sitting anywhere plus I'm constantly at the loo!

KitMarlowesCodpieceOfThigh · 05/11/2019 17:56

Not overreacting at all. I started my mat leave at 36 weeks and all I wanted to do - and, indeed, could do - was lie around and lumber to and from the fridge every so often. It's an uncomfortable, cumbersome time and it's your right to be where you're most happy and comfortable. I know that for me, that would not have been a holiday cottage a day's drive from home and further from a hospital than I needed to me!