Travelling at 36 weeks preg for Christmas

[jodes7001]

Hi all - just wanted some advice. I am going to be 36 weeks preg the week of Christmas (first time pregnancy), and my partner wants me to go to very rural Scotland (rural Highlands, west coast) where his family lives for the holiday. I am very nervous about travelling that far at 36 weeks and being physically uncomfortable for a 10-12hr drive in possibly bad weather conditions and not near my hospital. He and his family are saying I am worrying too much and it's very unlikely I will go into labour and I will be fine, and that they are about 30 miles from a hospital.

My family are in Los Angeles, so I am staying in the UK this year.

Am I overreacting by wanting to stay in London 4 weeks before my due date? Thanks for any advice! xx

You assume you’ll still be pregnant or go full term - as we all do I had my DD early at 32 weeks after a very text book pregnancy. Thank god I was near my hospital.

I'm 36 weeks just now and horribly uncomfortable. I can't sleep well as it is but being away from my own bed would make it even worse. Not a chance I'd spend 12 hours in a car if you paid me.

Also if you have already had your baby, it is definitely not okay for a baby to be in a car seat for that amount of time.

Speak to your midwife and get them to tell your partner.

Last Christmas I was about 35 weeks. We didn't go to the in-laws a few hours away. I could have done it but the drive wouldn't have been that comfortable and I wanted my own bed (piled with spare duvets, cushions etc). They came to us so worked out ok (they won't normally travel). You definitely CAN go but you are not being unreasonable to say its too much. The baby probably will stay put but you could end up in hospital there and feeling a long way from home.

@Kbrooke08932 hadn't even thought of that but you're right, it's 30 mins for a newborn in the car, that journey would be completely ridiculous for a newborn.

I’m currently 34 weeks and could not imagine doing a car journey of that length now let alone in another couple of weeks. my back and hips could not cope with sitting in a car for hours on end, I cancelled a planned trip for next weekend that was only 3 hours long as the back pain is just too much!

Also just the thought of driving to the hospital - 30 miles on unknown, country roads in the middle of winter just feels me with dread.

Hell no. Do not do anything to please other people and put yourself and baby at risk. As for your partner, he sounds like a selfish idiot for even asking this of you.

No way!

30 miles in rural Scotland can be longer then southern England. Plus you're assuming no snow...

And in terms of going away anywhere then, when your bump is big sleeping on in beds that aren't your own just isn't comfortable. Even in your own you won't be super comfortable.

And a 12 hr return journey (again assuming no snow..) isn't going to be fun and would be impossible if you'd actually given birth.

Ask your midwife's advice and tell her your concerns.

Could you fly or take the train ?

30 miles in rural scotland could take quite a while and as PPs pointed out, does that hospital have all the facilities you need? I'm 37 weeks now and have chosen not to leave London where my hospital is from 36, partly because I am having a c-section which they wouldn't necessarily be able to do elsewhere but also because it's not just about labour, it's about going in to get checked if a problem comes up, which they do quite a bit in this late stage of pregnancy. This hospital won't know your history and it could be more complicated getting seen over Xmas in a rural hospital. I personally would not go.

Also as a PP points out if you do have the baby up there it will be complicated getting home as newborns aren't supposed to spend more than 30-40 minutes at a time in a car seat, which could make for a very very long journey back!

Pretty sure your midwife will advise against this, which is something to hide behind when they gang up on you (how mean of them!). And check out the hospital online and see whether they have 24 hour provision for anaesthesia (epidural or GA if you needed an emergency section) and if they even have onstetric cover.

If you were to go into labour and suffer a cord prolapse your baby wouldn't have 30 minutes to play with.

It seems a really bad idea given likely weather conditions. How bad would everyone feel if this ended in tragedy?

Put your baby's safety and your own first and don't be a people pleaser. Tell them you'll come in Spring or even next Christmas but don't risk this. They don't understand what they're asking.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/travel-pregnant/. Show your partner this. Best to avoid long car journeys. Plus they say you won't go into labour but how do they know. I was sure on the day I took my ds to a hospital appointment and got a call saying sil was in labour that it was too early and would be braxton hicks(35 weeks) 3 hours later I received a picture of a tiny bundle.

I wouldn't commit. At 36 weeks, I couldn't sit for more than 20 mins at a time. I was still working, but struggling as DS1's head was engaged and very low.

DS2 arrived at 36 weeks.

No way. Absolutely no way. I was hugely uncomfortable at 36 weeks and I would not want to take the risk of a blood clot (12 hours sitting in a car!)

I would because there's a hospital nearby.

But the travel would cause me concern and I'd arrange either train and be picked up or doing it with an overnight stay in between.

Personally nope, one of mine was premature and both have arrived very quickly with complications. We live half that distance from a hospital and we nearly didn't make it.

BUT my super fast labours are less common than slow ones but until you've had one you just don't know.

Also, do you have a vehicle able to cope with potentially crappy road conditions?

I went to see my family 90 miles away when I was 36 weeks pregnant two weeks before Christmas as I didn’t want to travel any later. There was an accident on the motorway and my 1.5 hour journey turned into a 3 hour journey. I was very uncomfortable and the baby was digging into my ribs and bladder simultaneously. The next week my family moaned that I wasn’t coming up to see them after Christmas despite how much pain I was in the week previously. It’s lucky I didn’t listen to them. My waters broke on Boxing Day at 38+0!

I wouldn't. My first two were both 40 week pregnancies so with my 3rd I planned to go over to France for Xmas at 35 weeks to see family. Casually mentioned it to consultant who advised against it. Thought she was being a bit of a killjoy but DH insisted I listen to her. Good thing as she was right and my third was born at 36 weeks

Nope I definitely wouldn’t - I found travelling in the car for longer than 20 or so minutes tricky at that point, DS was awkwardly postitioned up in my ribs so sitting in car seat as driver or passenger was painful and uncomfortable at best, I had to sort of lean to the left to make it better and wouldn’t want to be doing that for 12 hours. Besides, with frequent toilet stops (which you will most likely need) that journey will be a lot longer. I also had PGP so sitting for too long made that worse too. That and being in the middle of nowhere, in in winter with probable Scottish bad weather and not near a hospital - nope, I think it’s a crazy idea.

I'd consider flying to Inverness or train. It's the drive that sounds horrendous both for driver and passenger.

But the actual distance isnt what would stop me from going it the time in the car.

This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity to visit every single service station between home and the west coast of Scotland!

That said, I was at a huge work event that I had organized on my due date - a reasonably short flight (company jet) away from my husband and the hospital in continental Europe!

If you want to go, you can do it. If you don't want to go, you have a list of very valid reasons!

it's very unlikely I will go into labour

Unlikely maybe, ‘very’ unlikely, definitely not. Most babies are born 38 - 42 weeks - but plenty are still born just before then so 36/37 weeks it’s not that much of a stretch. There’s really no way of knowing beforehand.

That is a no from me.
No way I would do a 10-12 hours drive, that would be painful for me and bad for baby’s posture (trying to avoid another back to back labour)
I wouldn’t worry about labour but I would not want to travel so far

And what if your waters break on their mattress / sofa?
And what if you don't feel any movements - who do you call?
The hospital is 30 miles away so it could take an hour to get there, longer if snowy and your DP gets lost.
What if you get pre eclampsia and have to stay in for a week or two?
I really do not get why they are not thinking of you! You choose, you are the one who will be feeling uncomfortable in all kinds of ways. Does his DMum not remember being pregnant?
If they want to see you, they need to travel and stay in a hotel or suchlike.

I don't know why people are saying the hospital's not far. It might not be on normal urban roads, but we're not talking about them.
30 miles, in the Highlands, in the winter, isn't to be dismissed. The roads are often closed due to snow, it could be much further than 30 miles if they have to take the long way there. Not to mention having to travel slowly due to the snow and ice on the roads.