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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Travelling at 36 weeks preg for Christmas

192 replies

jodes7001 · 05/11/2019 16:26

Hi all - just wanted some advice. I am going to be 36 weeks preg the week of Christmas (first time pregnancy), and my partner wants me to go to very rural Scotland (rural Highlands, west coast) where his family lives for the holiday. I am very nervous about travelling that far at 36 weeks and being physically uncomfortable for a 10-12hr drive in possibly bad weather conditions and not near my hospital. He and his family are saying I am worrying too much and it's very unlikely I will go into labour and I will be fine, and that they are about 30 miles from a hospital.

My family are in Los Angeles, so I am staying in the UK this year.

Am I overreacting by wanting to stay in London 4 weeks before my due date? Thanks for any advice! xx

OP posts:
simplekindoflife · 05/11/2019 18:58

Good god, no frickin way.

I couldn't even sit through a film at the cinema at 36 weeks! I was so so so uncomfortable.

So the long uncomfortable journey, different surroundings (I was such a homebody towards the end, I was nocturnal, I just wanted to be at home), the unfamiliar hospital and midwife team, the long journey to hospital... and the worst - what if you had the baby there??!?! Newborns can't spend 12 hours in a car seat?!

I had a complicated emergency csection, I could barely manage the 15 min drive home in agony and bleeding heavily 4 days later... so from Scotland?! No frickin way! I would've had to spend at least another week there before I even attempted it.

A thousand nos from me! Confused

leomama81 · 05/11/2019 19:17

Thing is you do have to think about the worst case scenario. Yes you probably won't go into labour, but the consequences if you do have the potential to be really bad, particularly in the case of bad weather/road closures/medical complications. If that happened, would anyone for a moment think it had been worth it to go up there for one Christmas?

siriusblackthemischieviouscat · 05/11/2019 19:29

It would be a no from me. 30 miles from a hospital sounds too far, how many people are really that far from their local hospital?

That drive also seems too long for comfort. What happens if you get stuck in traffic/bad weather then go into labour?

I didn't go far from home at the end of my pregnancy but i realise other women do much more.

StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 05/11/2019 19:31

It'd be a no from me too.

I went into suspected early labour at 35 weeks and spent a few days in hospital. This was after a v.uncomplicated pregnancy.

What sort of hospital is it too? A big one with a neo natal department, facilities for a c sec etc or one that's more midwife led for straight forward deliveries?

Sexnotgender · 05/11/2019 19:36

Absolutely not. The journey is the issue.

I was due in January this year and went on holiday in November in rural Scotland. So I’d have been about 33 weeks I think? Our journey was only 3 hours and I struggled. One of the biggest issues on the way home was the lack of toilet, genuinely thought I was going to wet myself.

Neolara · 05/11/2019 19:43

Two of my DC's were born at 36 and 37 weeks. My labours were short, even with dc1. There is no way I would have done a 12 hour trip. What happens if you go into labour on the way up / down to Scotland?

I hadn't started my maternity leave when I went into labour with dc1. Fortunately, it started in the night. If it had started when I was at work, I literally would have given birth on the A10. And my commute was only an hour.

MsTSwift · 05/11/2019 19:47

Slightly surprised your dh and his family suggested this. Not very thoughtful is it? Hmm

MsTSwift · 05/11/2019 19:51

At best it will worry you as it already is and you will definitely feel uncomfortable. At worst unlikely but possible something really bad could happen for which you would never forgive yourself.

Thehop · 05/11/2019 19:53

I wouldn’t, I’d hate the drive.

Jollitwiglet · 05/11/2019 19:54

I did an 8 hour drive at about 35 weeks and that was bad enough. I was practically in tears by the end of the journey

NearlyGranny · 05/11/2019 20:25

I guess your Mil is one of those who was out harvesting haggis or something while in labour, put down the sickle, stepped behind a hedge, birthed your DP, strapped him to her back and finished the day's work without anyone noticing, right? In the snow, naturally. Barefoot, of course.

Do the harvest haggis in the winter or is that thistles?

clareykb · 05/11/2019 20:31

I probably wouldn't tbh but my twins were born at 35w I would check out the journey time to hospital though and also maybe look at domestic flights as an option rather than the long drive. Am assuming that one of his realtives would have a car u could use if needed.

MsTSwift · 05/11/2019 20:35

Nearly that generation got 2 weeks hospital bed rest Grin well my mother and mil did. Which was why I was slightly surprised when in laws turned up on day 5 after my emergency c section and were baffled that it wasn’t business as usual hosting wise Hmm

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 05/11/2019 20:37

You are at a small but increased risk of DVT when pregnant so a very long car journey is not a good idea.

As PP said, it would a tough journey back with a newborn as they can’t stay long in car seat.

BathTangle · 05/11/2019 20:46

I regularly do a 12 hour car trip to northern Scotland and have done so in all weathers and states of health, but I definitely wouldn't have wanted to do it at 36 weeks! And definitely not with a new born to come home again.

Also: are your DH and family prepared to deliver and care for a premature baby on the roadside if you do go into labour and can't get to the hospital in time?

TimeIhadaNameChange · 05/11/2019 21:05

I'll be doing the opposite journey at 30 weeks and there's no way I'd do it by car. I did four hours at the weekend and spent most of the journey feeling very squashed up, and that was at 21 weeks. I'd usually take the Sleeper but it's now too expensive to get a berth so I'll have to fly.

I'm 15 miles from my nearest hospital and we could get there in less than 15 at a push. The midwives there are great and I'd rather give birth there than at the nearest big hospital. So no worries on that score.

Drum2018 · 05/11/2019 21:17

30 miles from a hospital sounds too far, how many people are really that far from their local hospital

Plenty here in Ireland Grin

@jodes7001 there's not a chance I'd have gone that far from home at 36 weeks. The journey is far too much to expect of you. Your Dh is being completely unreasonable. As for his family - they don't get a say! Don't be afraid to put you and baby first. You don't need the stress of travelling at that stage of your pregnancy.

FrenchBoule · 05/11/2019 21:28

I wouldn’t do it OP. Not sure if there’s any other hospital in the Highlands except Raigmore in Inverness? There are midwife led units in smaller places, but if anything goes wrong then it’s a long way in sometimes rotten weather and icy roads.

WaterAndTrees · 05/11/2019 21:43

This depends on your own personal acceptance of risk. I did something similar at 36 weeks in my first pregnancy and travelled to see family at Christmas it’s my DH. It was fine and I didn’t have to lift a finger once there (for once!) but each person will be different

Jog22 · 05/11/2019 21:55

No way. They can come visit you in January. It's not like they're going to say they can't do the journey as it's well easy apparently. (Disclaimer. If they are v.aged/disabled)

User12879923378 · 05/11/2019 22:02

Too long in the car. Too far away from the hospital (30 miles on West Highlands roads is not the same as 30 miles down the M1!). Hospital not one you have picked for birth. And no sensible way of getting your newborn home. I couldn't have tolerated a strange bed at that stage either.
Are you taking your hospital bag and pram with you? What about a travel cot? This would be a gigantic NO from me and I love the West Coast in all weathers (TMI: my DC was conceived up there Grin)

Entschuldigung · 05/11/2019 22:16

I wouldn't.

My first was born at 36 weeks. Perfectly normal pregnancy, no suggestion he'd be early. Very quick labour (20 mins after getting to hospital and they were only sure I was in labour for the last 5 mins).

Second baby born at 38 weeks. 45 min labour from first twinge to baby. Had no time to get anywhere so she was born at home.

Ruth96 · 05/11/2019 22:18

I'd go for it!!

Yes.the journey will be long but you can stop on the way

Peeing in a Bush is not the end of the world.

The nhs offer a standard of care so yoid receive near enough the same treatment.

Your labour will probably be longer than the 30 mile car journey to the hospital and there will he loads of hospitals on the way home if need be. Just call ahead if anything happens

bluebeck · 05/11/2019 22:21

No fucking way.

you could be cut off in a location like that in winter.

tillytrotter1 · 05/11/2019 22:26

I was an hour from the hospital in Germany when Number 2 was born and even then OH insisted that we sat for 20 minutes outside the BP petrol station waiting for it to open to get our cheap petrol!!!

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