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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Work drama, please help!!

183 replies

Nameqhanger · 04/11/2019 19:41

So I work in a relatively large office, some would say quite cliquey, I've worked there for 3 years. Anyway, the 'queen bee', let's call her A. She's very popular even among the managers. She complains a lot and makes everything into a bigger issue than it is. Quite often she falls out with people in the office over minor things, she sometimes ends up crying and everyone goes to console her.

Anyway, A is part of our 'group' that usually meets up every few months or so outside work. I was in charge of organising it this time, and I arranged to meet at a local bar for drinks and a catch up out of work.

She wasn't at work the day when I told people my suggestion as she was off sick. I said I'd text her to let her know, which I did, but I never got a reply.

Well the drinks were supposed to be today, someone casually mentions it over lunch, she immediately starts creating a massive drama, saying nobody told her, we excluded her, and so on. Another colleague (B) was like well nameqhanger was organising it, she said she was going to text you. A is practically crying at this point, saying I obviously hate her and that's why I didn't text her, I've excluded her, none of us like her or we would have checked she knew.

The reason she didn't get the text was because she changed phone numbers, I found that out later. I actually had to get my phone out to prove to everyone that I did actually text her because everyone was trying to console A as she was crying. I did point out that she could still come with us as it hadn't happened yet. Apparently no, she had something already booked.

B texted me tonight (after we all went out without her because she couldn't make it) to say A had posted a cryptic facebook status about it all. B thinks I need to text A an apology. I actually already apologised to A multiple times at work. I feel bad that I didn't get the message to her, but I feel like I've been made to look like the bad guy here.

AIBU to not send another apology to A?

OP posts:
shas19 · 04/11/2019 19:44

Shes being an idiot. Sounds like she loves the drama!

HisBetterHalf · 04/11/2019 19:44

Have you got the sent copy of the text you sent her? If so, show that to everyone

DingDongDenny · 04/11/2019 19:46

God - what a drama lama. I really wouldn't entertain her at all - Ignore

Ponoka7 · 04/11/2019 19:48

Was this her first day back after sick leave?

If not it's strange that no one mentioned the meet up, including yourself.

Leeds2 · 04/11/2019 19:48

I certainly wouldn't be texting an apology.

HappyHammy · 04/11/2019 19:49

Ignore her. I would speak to my line manager. Posting anything to do with work on social media is very unprofessional and frowned upon by managers

Nameqhanger · 04/11/2019 19:51

Yes, today was her first day back. I thought it was a bit weird I didn't get a reply, but I thought well if she wants to she'll reply, maybe she isn't feeling up to it or something.

OP posts:
ActualHornist · 04/11/2019 19:55

@HisBetterHalf OP already did that.

No don’t apologise OP. You already have, she’s a drama queen loving the attention.

I would however make a note of everything you’ve said here in case she decides to document it with your managers.

ActualHornist · 04/11/2019 19:56

And she needs to get a fucking grip of herself. Crying because she already had plans? What a dick.

CareBear50 · 04/11/2019 19:57

Is her name Michelle?!

redastherose · 04/11/2019 20:00

If you want to you could screenshot the original message and send it to everyone on your WhatsApp/Messenger work group including her with a 'sorry you didn't get the message but it did send it' text so that everyone can see she's being a drama lama! Otherwise just ignore her.

BlouseAndSkirt · 04/11/2019 20:01

Do not engage in social media, at all.

Talk to your manager.

You are the one being targeted for emotional guilt tripping.

No need to make a complaint, just say there is a bit of a weird dynamic going on and explain.

You do not need to apologise again, or at all. Are you psychic for people’s phone numbers?

Wavingwhiledrowning · 04/11/2019 20:04

Good grief. Has A got work and primary school mixed up? If someone behaved like that at work I'd be hard pushed not to laugh at them. Totally ridiculous. OP - you've done absolutely nothing wrong. Do not apologise - if you do, she'll think that sort of crackers behaviour is acceptable.

Saddler · 04/11/2019 20:07

She sounds nuts, don't give her the time of day

RedHelenB · 04/11/2019 20:09

If you're sorry she didnt receive the text theres no harm in apologising again surely?

Ffsnosexallowed · 04/11/2019 20:10

Somebody needs to tell her to grow up.

zaffa · 04/11/2019 20:17

She sounds like a complete drain. I can't stand people like this - in fact I'm almost convinced we know the same person ... it's incredibly hard though, because now everyone has turned on you. To be honest, (and I'm not often one for playing games but I really hate ppl who behave like she has) I'd play her at her own game and start crying in the office and talking about how you feel so excluded now because everyone thinks you're this horrible person and it's not fair - you have the evidence right here - and you think she's doing this deliberately as she's always had a problem with you ....

Don't let her win and don't apologise.

flashingbeacon · 04/11/2019 20:18

Only option is to message B and say that you are heartbroken A didn’t give you her new number, she obviously hates you and doesn’t want to include you and you feel everyone else has betrayed you by not telling you she had changed her number.

Obviously don’t do that but I’m always tempted when a drama llama is involved.

GeneHuntLover · 04/11/2019 20:20

OP said she apologised a lot at work, why should she apologise again....she's done fuck all wrong. I'd be telling A to grow the fuck up

Irisloulou · 04/11/2019 20:23

Is she ten years old?
Ignore, feeding a drama lama is the worst thing that you can do.

Tell your colleague you already apologised.

Brefugee · 04/11/2019 20:27

Don't engage with the drama. Tell everyone to make sure you all have updated phone numbers, and a back up email address or something in case - if you want to carry on with this.

If not tell them you can't be doing with the Drama and bow out.

puddleduckmummy · 04/11/2019 20:28

I think I also used to be friends with A. (Although I doubt it is the same person, there seems to be a lot of these arseoles around) I'm no longer friends with her because I just couldn't be bothered to deal with her babyish theatrics anymore. It's slightly different at work though as you have to inhabit the same space. I'm sure there will be a new drama for her to drama llama about soon enough

Drum2018 · 04/11/2019 20:28

Don't apologise again. She's a fucking baby and needs to grow up. What a nightmare having to work with someone like that! Carry on tomorrow as normal. If she's cool with you, ignore her childishness. Chat to her as you normally would. With any luck it'll blow over if you don't feed into the drama.

Likethebattle · 04/11/2019 20:31

@HisBetterHalf did you read the op?she did exactly that!

EmmiJay · 04/11/2019 20:32

'Spit' in her coffee mug. Silly moo. Hate colleagues like this🙄