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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Work drama, please help!!

183 replies

Nameqhanger · 04/11/2019 19:41

So I work in a relatively large office, some would say quite cliquey, I've worked there for 3 years. Anyway, the 'queen bee', let's call her A. She's very popular even among the managers. She complains a lot and makes everything into a bigger issue than it is. Quite often she falls out with people in the office over minor things, she sometimes ends up crying and everyone goes to console her.

Anyway, A is part of our 'group' that usually meets up every few months or so outside work. I was in charge of organising it this time, and I arranged to meet at a local bar for drinks and a catch up out of work.

She wasn't at work the day when I told people my suggestion as she was off sick. I said I'd text her to let her know, which I did, but I never got a reply.

Well the drinks were supposed to be today, someone casually mentions it over lunch, she immediately starts creating a massive drama, saying nobody told her, we excluded her, and so on. Another colleague (B) was like well nameqhanger was organising it, she said she was going to text you. A is practically crying at this point, saying I obviously hate her and that's why I didn't text her, I've excluded her, none of us like her or we would have checked she knew.

The reason she didn't get the text was because she changed phone numbers, I found that out later. I actually had to get my phone out to prove to everyone that I did actually text her because everyone was trying to console A as she was crying. I did point out that she could still come with us as it hadn't happened yet. Apparently no, she had something already booked.

B texted me tonight (after we all went out without her because she couldn't make it) to say A had posted a cryptic facebook status about it all. B thinks I need to text A an apology. I actually already apologised to A multiple times at work. I feel bad that I didn't get the message to her, but I feel like I've been made to look like the bad guy here.

AIBU to not send another apology to A?

OP posts:
MrsBadcrumble123 · 05/11/2019 17:36

She sounds awful! Massive dramA Queen! Ps I hate that these type of people are pandered to! The panderers are obviously scared of her or have no self-respect! Stupid woman

Lilyflower1 · 05/11/2019 17:36

Blimey! I didn't know it was legal to employ seven year olds.

Mmpip · 05/11/2019 17:39

It's her fault for not letting anybody know her new number. You're not a mind reader. She's being dramatic and it seems to work for her. Don't be a part of the silly drama. It's a work place not a kindergarten.....!!!

Angelil · 05/11/2019 17:40

Why are you even still inviting her for drinks?! She sounds like a nightmare on legs.

Geekynzmum · 05/11/2019 17:41

I would just go back to B and say that you already apologised to A in person several times and leave it at that.
Don't engage in the drama anymore as that is what A wants.

frufru27 · 05/11/2019 17:43

It’s always a Michelle 😂😂

Jannco · 05/11/2019 17:47

I feel the same as monkeyseesmonkey does!why do people give her the time?I really dont get it,Drama Queen,does she behave like this in front of her bosses???totally ignore her,is it a hair salon?only workplace I can think of having this kind of drama Queens lol

ToyahR · 05/11/2019 17:51

Play the same game by saying you’re really upset that she didn’t feel it important for you to have her new number.

Obviously nobody else felt the need to get in touch with her whilst she was off, asking if she was coming and how she was doing.

manicmij · 05/11/2019 17:52

Perhaps you should be upset at A as you were not kept in the clique about the change of phone number. Works both ways! Don't apologise; A being a bit precious.

BeyondMyWits · 05/11/2019 17:55

I'd go with....

"so sorry you didn't get my message"... (statement, no acceptance of blame... false apology, my mum is great at these)

"any reason you didn't want me to have your new number?"...

walk away...

Ginburee · 05/11/2019 17:55

Do not apologize and inform B that you did apologize even though you were not in the wrong. Inform your manager as thos is bullying behaviour and Michelle shouldn't be repeatedly getting away with it.

SignOnTheWindow · 05/11/2019 17:57

Good god! Is she 8?

Poor you OP - A sounds like a complete pain in the arse. YADNBU.

NarmBird · 05/11/2019 17:57

OP, please tell us you have texted B back with one of those responses

Gazelda · 05/11/2019 17:58

Oi! I think that all Michelle's are owed an apology from this thread.

Even those who don't use their birth name at work and have always led people to believe their real name is Joyce.

FelicisNox · 05/11/2019 17:59

I like @BeyondMyWits answer. 😁

Jack80 · 05/11/2019 18:01

You have apologised and did again invite her, just get her new number for the next outing

happilybemused · 05/11/2019 18:02

I have had a similar situation on the other side when I was on maternity leave.

I knew the person who didn't invite me to numerous events didn't like me (she was the social rep for our department.)

It has been many years since and I've recognised that many people who were 'friends' at the time could have invited me.

I'd gently point it out that although you didn't have her number as not a friend outside of work perhaps she needs to question why nobody else told her about it rather than blame you

Anonmummyoftwo · 05/11/2019 18:02

Shes clearly a spoilt little brat and a drama queen attention seeker. You showed that you sent her a text its not your fault she didnt give you her new number. Ignore her and the next person say to say sorry say she should say sorry you feel very left out that she never gave you her new number.

toomanybirds · 05/11/2019 18:03

Tone to take is breezy and mildly amused:

"Apologise again?! goodness no! what a lot of nonsense, what is this, primary school?!"

toomanybirds · 05/11/2019 18:03

Then immediate and complete change of subject.

M3lon · 05/11/2019 18:06

I feel like 7 and 8 year olds have been hard done to on this thread as well as Michelles (who probably deserve it).

I live with an 8 yo and there's no way she'd behave like this!

Lifeover · 05/11/2019 18:09

Are you sure she isn’t confusing work with a primary school playground. Tbh I’d just say sorry she felt excluded it was in no way intended. Suggest she gets first pick on where to go next time

mummmy2017 · 05/11/2019 18:10

Spike her guns...
Open message to everyone in group.

Kidlacky · 05/11/2019 18:11

just remember, its a means to earn money , not a cult or religion , however the boss sees herself or himself. Earn your wonga n go home.

bluebell34567 · 05/11/2019 18:11

agree even an 8 year wouldnt do that. she is a drama queen and an attention seeker. but i dont understand why so many people feed their urges, to console, etc.