to be less than thrilled that dh has just given ds his first solid food while i wasnt there

[gringottsgoblin]

came home from picking something up for mil, ds3 is pointing at bowl on floor. dh has shovelled a jar of apple puree into ds because he was hungry and i wasnt here to breastfeed. i have been gone an hour and fed him 5 minutes before i left so i doubt he was hungry, dh just couldnt be arsed to hold him and walk about. i know there are more important things in life but this is a bit of a milestone and i would never do something like that when he wasnt there. i am upset

he is 6 months next week so thats not the issue, apple puree was a bounty freebie, thats why it was in cupboard.

dh has just come in and asked if im annoyed, i said yes and he did a big huffy sigh and said he gives in. am now angry aswell. thoughtless git.

If he's anything like my DH it wouldn't even have occurred to him that I might be upset - baby hungry, purée there (so obv planning to feed soon) - fix hungry baby.

I'm another one who would be quite pleased if he did something without asking permission first!

Blimey, I think feeding the blighters is pretty mundane. I can't believe you feel like this about number FOUR! I have no recollection of dd's first meal whatsoever. None. Zip.

why are 3rd and 4th children less special than the 1st? genuinely confused by this

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(I would still have been narked though, but can see it from his pov)

notice not initiative to do something boring like walk round the room tho

Id be really upset because I love all that stuff, and I remember it all, all first steps, first words ect...I savour every minute of them,

If DP did that he would be doing it just to keep the baby quiet, not enjoying the wonder of his baby growing up and doing something new.

He probably wouldnt even remember how his face looked after the first spoonful the next morning, never mind 18 years later like i would!!

i think this is more to do with the fact you feel he couldn't be arsed to pick him up, than the fact he gave him food

i can undestand where your coming from... dp barely picks ds2 up to cuddle him, makes me feel sad for dp really, he's missing out on some amazing cuddles, his loss!

Oh for heavens sake, just because you don't have an orgasm at the sight of the first spoonful of spewed puree doesn't mean you don't value your children . Just means you are a bit less mad than you were with your PFB - imho.

it doesn't mean he was rooting thru the cupboards last night.
he was prob looking for formula to try and pacify your DS and cam eacross it.

Give the man a break, he has prob secretly been longing to feed his child and you have been doing it for all this time!

(BTW I SUPPORT BF FULLY-sorry caps)

I'm actually quite peed off by the mad idea that no bothering about watching them eat puree for the first of a zillion times is somehow a sign that you don't care about your child. That really is crap.

You have an intelligent thinking hb who can make a decision & clearly look after the children - be grateful and praise him, poor man, he probably thought he was doing good! He's had a lovely time with dc4 & good bonding time. Don't be possessive of these 'milestones', there are so many more to come.

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he was rooting through the cupboard, that will be why he thought of it. he does not want to give ds milk, i have suggested it plenty of times and after an argument i usually give up.

i am just annoyed that i do all the crap bits and he gets the nice bit.

Every single day is a 'milestone' for heavens sake. Today I took the kids to Covent Garden for Theatre Week. It was the first time they had seen a West End musical on stage. The first time they had the chance to sing with West End performers, and learn a dance routine. Dh didn't boo hoo that he wasn't there.

It makes me laugh how we, as mums, do so much each day and yet if a man does something like change a nappy, or feed a child then hes 'using his initutive' and we should be 'proud' and 'happy'

They are five and two btw. I am sure tomorrow will bring another 'milestone'!

I agree that it more to do with the fact that DH doesn't interact with DS4 the way you want and you feel he's take the easy route out of pacifying him however you obviously feel very strongly about the way things are done. I don't wish to offend but are you controlling in the way you have let handle DS4 in the past, doesn't he get left with him so that he has to look after him more often. Perhaps he doesn't feel confident to pacifying him without feeding him (if that makes sense).

Kitbits, maybe people think we should be pleased because obviously it is a real struggle for some men to get a chance to do anything as their partners resent it so much!

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Id never resent him change a nappy I do that a dozen times a day,

so why - when she is elbow deep in mundane things like shit and vomit everyday should he get to do the fun things - like first feed - and get praised for it!

You are probably right cod. Mind, if I got slated for anything I did do, can't say I'd be rushing to the front of the queue in future.

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Pent up resentment a-go-go. Possibly perfectly justified.