Do you ever wonder why people don't have children

[Moominfan]

I'll just get my hard hat ready. I never ever say or indicate this out-loud hence why I'm posting on a online Internet forum. But if I come across someone of a certain age, I wonder what the reasons are. I was adamant at one in my life I'd never have kids and I know someone people never change their minds. Not everyone wants children, never happened for them ect. List goes on. It just crosses my mind and wonder if anyone else ever shared this thought.

I don’t ever wonder or ever Care. Do you ever wonder anything more interesting?
I wonder if people who chose not to have kids wonder why you had them?
Ffs

Yes I do wonder but don't ask. I struggled to get pregnant the first time, and endured lots of comments and questions about when I would have a baby, so I know how upsetting that can be.

I was thinking about this today though, quite a high proportion of my school friends don't have children, including my friend and her 2 sister's. I don't know why.

'there really isn't any meaning in their lives.'

Pur-lease! :) I can go out and do anything I want whenever, when people with kids are stuck in half the time. And I have much less to worry about,-a fun, peaceful and relaxing life. It wasn't my plan at the time, but now I couldn't be happier it turned out this way.

I pity those stuck at home or stressing about their kids' exams etc. And there's been less toll on my body :) And I'm not stuck in a crap marriage or anything. The list of bonuses is endless. If kids are someone's meaning in life, what're they going to do when the kids move out- just feel empty inside and wait for the grandkids?

I hate noise, filth, drudgery, germs, and don’t feel entitled or selfish enough to force someone into 8+decades of consuming, on a dying planet, just to indulge myself. Plus my genes are trash and it would be u ethical of me to inflict them on an other human. There’s almost 8 billion of us fuckers, no need.

"That’s almost exactly the same as asking “why didn’t you have children?”. It’s just as personal a question to ask and it’s none of your business."

It's just a bit less direct. Yes, it's a personal question, but some people like to talk about personal things. It's not illegal.

I don't have them because I couldn’t think of anything worse. I have a niece and nephew who I gladly hand back to my sister after a day or two of madness, I have the love and amazing times with them without the hassle of school runs and Peppa pig on loop constantly. I’m too much of a free spirit and slightly selfish to be able to commit to having such a responsibility. I’m still living my twenties in my mid thirties if that makes sense.

I can spend any spare money I have (probably more than the average person with kids) on whatever I want- fun activities, trips, etc :)

What an infuriatingly ignorant attitude. There are millions of women who don't have children living rich, fulfilled, happy and meaningful lives.

Peach, that statement is so silly lol - so you know and have heard about MILLIONS of purposely childless women living rich, fulfilled, happy and meaningful lives have you? 🤣🤣

"I wonder if people who chose not to have kids wonder why you had them?"

Yes, maybe they do and then they can ask can't they.

Plus, do you ever listen to a parent or read any anonymous internet things for parents? They fucking hate it 😄 ‘sticky kisses make it all worth it-do they, aye. But you also say it only gets worse as the offspring get older? 😂

Yes, it's a personal question, but some people like to talk about personal things. It's not illegal.

It’s insensitive. If someone wants to talk about it, they will.

I think it too! BUT I always hope it's beca they didn't want them rather than not being able to.

@OctoberLovers my sister and I were in about this the other day, why did we have kids? Not because we don't want our kids now but we came to the conclusion that it's because it gets drummed into girls. You meet a man fall in love have kids happily ever after allegedly anyway

My sister hasn’t had children. She has never expressed any desire to have them and her few relationships have never been long enough to think about the next step. I think she is happy and she is now with a partner who is wealthy enough for her to have holidays that we can only dream of 😳💕

"It’s insensitive. If someone wants to talk about it, they will."

Not necessarily. They may prefer for someone else to bring the subject up.
Of course, there are some people who are very sad about it and can't talk about it, but that's not the case for all childless people.

Award for least fitting username goes to @Sugarandspiceandallthat! Blimey maybe you should try a bit of sweetness.

I do sometimes wonder if they are infertile like me. But unless I got to know them very well, I d never ask (and even then I'd probably hesitate - would depend on the person)
Personally I hate being asked, and have had some awful comments over the years

Because perhaps they want to enjoy their lives, on their own terms, without having to worry about being responsible for other people for at least two decades.

ChildLESS women are those who want to reproduce but have not YET, or who cannot.
ChildFREE are women who are the opposite, who will NOT have a kid, ever, by choice.

With 400,000 more born each day , I wonder why anyone is choosing to keep making more and more. They will have food and water shortages in their lifetimes, there will be millions of climate refugees, in the next few decades. Does no one give a shit, as long as they get their own ‘mini me’? The mind boggles.

No, never. If anything I'm inclined to believe they have the right end of the stick, tbh.

No I don't. I assume that it's their personal choice or that health issues have made the choice for them. None of my business.

The only question I would ask someone is “do you have any children”? I think that’s as factual as “are you married?” Or even “and what do you do?” if eg I met someone at a party and was making small talk. I would never ask them why they do or they don’t, that’s so nosey and bad-mannered. You don’t know what they’ve been through, or are currently going through.

I know quite a few people who have replied with “no but we hope to, some day” and assume they are trying or will try at some point, and then I wouldn’t ask any further. And older couples who have said “no, we are happy as we are” or “it just didn’t happen for us”. Both of which give an answer and if anyone pushes for further details without them being volunteered then they’re lacking in some basic manners and social skills.

I think In this day and age with opportunities for careers and an interesting and exciting social life/travelling, becoming a parent just isn’t the be all and end all for some people anymore. And also having a conscience about environmental issues and overpopulation is becoming more of a thing. It’s not hard to understand for us in the U.K.. I think some people of the older generation can’t understand that, though. Or in certain cultures where children are seen as a blessing.

The people who ask someone “when are you going to have kids?” when you don’t even know if they want or can have them need a slap, really! Just so rude.

*Interested woman
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Pur-lease! :) I can go out and do anything I want whenever, when people with kids are stuck in half the time. And I have much less to worry about,-a fun, peaceful and relaxing life. It wasn't my plan at the time, but now I couldn't be happier it turned out this way.

I pity those stuck at home or stressing about their kids' exams etc. And there's been less toll on my body :) And I'm not stuck in a crap marriage or anything. The list of bonuses is endless. If kids are someone's meaning in life, what're they going to do when the kids move out- just feel empty inside and wait for the grandkids?*

Haha, so you're always jetting off to the otherside of the planet are you? Or just to another night out drinking/eating chatting aimlessly about nothing.

I think you'll find most parents aren't stuck at home, or in a crap marriage.
I think you'll find most of us are thrilled and happy to help our child learn and grow and see their mind develop.

We are thrilled to jet off to the otherside of the world and make memories together.

Some of us have tight and sexy bodies, looking like we've never had a baby grow inside us - we just work hard on ourselves and the DCs actually give us motivation to be better.

Buuuuut - thanks for making my point.

"ChildLESS women are those who want to reproduce but have not YET, or who cannot.
ChildFREE are women who are the opposite, who will NOT have a kid, ever, by choice."

You don't own the dictionary Gormless. I consider myself childless, but I'm not infertile and neither will I have a child in the future.

@Sugarandspiceandallthat

Oh dear. You don’t come across well.