To be told it wouldn't be good to go for an afternoon meal with my 6 week old

[Coconutbug]

Its my friends birthday next week and she wants to go out for a Sunday roast. The place she has chosen has a children menu.
She has just text me to ask if I'm coming because they need to put down a deposit.
I haven't seen any of this group of friends since before baby was born through one reason or another. None of them have children.
I have a 6 week old exclusively breast fed baby and I said yes I can come but will need to bring baby and pram.
Her response I'd love to see you and meet baby but I don't think that will be good because it's an upmarket place.

Granted it is quite fancy but if it has a children's menu it doesn't make me think twice about taking a baby.

AIBU???

@JasBBGG lol I do feel like doing that a bit. I also feel like it would be different if it was an evening meal but not in the middle of the afternoon. To be honest it has made me feel a bit awkward now like they are judging where I should take my baby and it's appropriateness! Argh anxious head !!

@Coconutbug screw them. Worst experience I had like this was being on a hen do and being asked if:

• having children had ruined my body
• as I now worked part time what would

I do if I wanted to but a £100 pair of shoes.

WTF

I don't see those people any more.

Take your baby where you want. It isn't 1932.

At the end of the day it’s your friend’s birthday and taking a baby does change the dynamic of friends getting together. A few people have told you this on the thread earlier.

It’s not a big deal and I can’t see the need for the OP to continue commenting on this thread as she has her answer to her question in AIBU. I’m beginning to wonder if the OP is bored as it’s continued a week later 🙄

it has made me feel a bit awkward now like they are judging where I should take my baby

Not to a friends birthday if they ask you not to. Babies do not need to be a part of everything. Not everyone likes babies children at every occasion. Your baby may be your world but they don’t need to be a part of everyone else’s life.

@MollyMorals
Lol not bored just have a lot of time under my hands stuck under a feeding baby.
I havent really been on mumsnet long so im not entirely sure of the etiquette. However the reason this seems to be going on is people keep commenting so I am getting notified and it feels rude not to reply to people's questions if asked. 🤷‍♀️

@JasBBGG that is a strange thing to ask someone!

Don't rise to it OP.

That was a very rude post about being bored, and you don't need to reply.

Theres no reason in the world you shouldn't go everywhere you want to with your baby, and wouldnt rate anyone exlcluding a friend on the basis of them having a lovely new baby to show off and celebrate ebf, because thats not easy. It takes hard work and devotion and even so doesn't work for everyone not matter how hard they try.

Noone should be knocking women for that. i just don't understand it.

Some just hate babies i guess, even when these babies are their friend's! beyond

Treating anyone this way is the same, regardless of colour, race, physical ability and any other protected characteristics, minority groups. If you treat someone differently just because of any given 'condition' (pregnancy, baby) thats exclusionary and discriminatory.

A baby is not a condition. It is a choice. EBF is also a choice. And other people are free to make choices off the back of that choice. The choice may be that they hate babies or just that they don't want grizzling or bad smells at events special to them that they are organising.

OP's friend has not excluded her. She has invited her. OP then has the option to make another choice about whether to stay with the baby or go to the party and find another option to feed.

Neither party has been unreasonable and OP has dealt with it sensibly and I hope the catch up goes well.

Some just hate babies i guess, even when these babies are their friend's! beyond

Yes, it might be beyond your comprehension but some people really do not like babies/children regardless of who they belong to. There’s no rule in life that says you have to like them!

There are a few top restaurants in London that dont allow prams in. They say health and safety, but my friend who is a chef says they believe it lowers the tone, 'we are not a market cafe' said one apparently.
So she could be telling the truth.

Six week baby is vvvvv easy to take anywhere. Toddler not. However in this case your friend wants a birthday meal without a baby. Decline and see her another time. Her birthday her choice

I totally agree with smother. It's a wonder some people on here have any friends at all when they seem to understand the word to mean 'person to whom you shouldn't give so much as the steam off your piss'. Obviously telling your friend her six week old EBF baby can't come to an event at lunchtime (even though they could if you wanted them to) is a clear statement of your intention to exclude her. Which obviously you can do if you want but it doesn't mean you're not an arse for it.

Also, it's a bit weird (but totally standard MN) to make protracted arguments against OP and her actual, real baby in defence of her friend and a miscarriage she hasn't had. Shame the friend's husband wasn't in the story so he could have been given an autism diagnosis while we were at it. Or OP could have dropped in that the friend was over 40 and she could have had early onset dementia.

There's definitely no chance of them not allowing prams or babys because they hold a weekly mum's club 😂😂 just looked on the website. How ridiculous. Nevermind.
Its fine. I'm over it now, going to enjoy a nice day off with my family and my husband's only day off this week until next weekend. X