To ask how many hours your DP spends playing videos games

[Cchick]

Just what the title says really.

My partner spends maybe 15-20 hours a week on average (sometimes he can spend 12 full hours!) and I was wondering how many your partners spend. I mean he's playing the games with other people, so is this normal in other households too?

FYI, we don't have any children yet and we aren't married yet. I'm just very worried that if we do marry and have kids, the family would come second to gaming. Everyone says to look out for red flags and I'm wondering if this is one?

Long story short, how many hours do your partners spend gaming and has it reduced since marrying and having children?

TIA!

None, although he likes to watch sport but not at the expense of family time. In the evenings we mostly watch films or tv together.

I used to game much more heavily than the OP's husband. After having kids it's down to about an hour a day on average.

Still can't understand how playing video games makes you fat. I play pretty much every day and I'm a size 10 and weigh 9st. Hardly a whale. Fuck off, again.

We’re both into gaming but since baby came along neither of us play. We just don’t have the time.

And yeah I’m fit, size 10 etc. Gaming doesn’t make you fat.

Still can't understand how playing video games makes you fat. I play pretty much every day and I'm a size 10 and weigh 9st. Hardly a whale.

I don't play video games and I'm a size 6... so it must be true.

Anyone worried about getting fat playing games should get an old Wii and Samba di Amigo. Playing maracas is exhausting if you do it right.

Food makes you fat. If you spend three hours sitting down playing a game eating nothing you'll be thinner than someone who spends three hours pottering around the house picking at biscuits.

Nonerdtoberude when I say in advance "let's go out on X day". Most of the time it has to be plans that are out do the house, otherwise gaming will happen until the 11th hour a d we are too tired to do whatever we planned indoor or I've given up and made alternative plans.

Utterlyperfect Thankyou! The thread has been derailed by a debate on the target audience for gaming. But I've taken the time to really think about what I want and how to go about it. I am definitely at the stag eof leaving, I just wanted to check that I wasn't ending a relationship because I had unrealistic expectations.

Jsnb Thankyou, I will definitely go with my gut.

@Cchick it is not the gaming that is the problem but not making you a priority. This can happen with any hobby. Ex was a gamer and was locked in the computer room all day. Did not help around the house, quit his job without looking for a new one etc. I felt lonely and of course it did not work. DF now also games up to 3 hours some evenings if we have nothing planned and I will join him but we do it together and don't choose it over doing planned activities together. Yes at times it is easy for both of us to get sucked into our games that we don't realise until the next week but we do then apologies and arrange a date night that week etc. I would leave if I was you not because of the gaming but because clearly you are not his priority

Zero.. He plans to start when our son is born tho!

Cchick Your expectations are definitely not unrealistic! You deserve much much better, and he doesn’t deserve any of your time when he’s wasting it this much.
I wish you a much less boring next boyfriend

To answer a PP, he will spend time with me if I say "let's go for dinner on Saturday". But he won't come and watch TV with me because he's playing, so I often eat alone and watch telly alone. When he comes home he goes straight to the gym then to the game until bed time.

So in reality you are flatmates who date occasionally. When you organise it. I wouldn’t consider this kind of relationship fit for the long term, let alone having children in it.

None. We don't have any 'gaming' equipment. I had an ex who'd spend hours on computer games (as they were back then) and it was annoying. I wouldn't mind a bit of time spent on that kind of thing - say, a couple of hours once or twice a week, but when it starts to become more important than real life, that's when it can damage a relationship.

Used to be anything from an hour to 3 hours a day, longer at weekends.
However, since ds came in July he spends less time. He will also come off if I ask him to, or if I need help.
Gaming is how he unwinds, I can't deny that when he works long stressful hours.

I was warned about starting a family with him because he games, but we talk about everything and he respects my requests to come off if I ask. Also his pc is in the livingroom.

Myself and hubby are both gamers. I've always played on them since a child from the mega drive, PlayStation, dreamcast xbox, next gen consoles. Its one of our hobbies. None of my female friends play so I've always felt odd.

I used to play on the PlayStation a lot more when I was a student 17-19. We have the Ps4 in the living room. I usually play every few days around 1/2 hours a time usually after work. DH plays every day for around 3/4 hours. He has a PlayStation vita which means he can play on a handheld while I watch TV on the big screen.

When it's the weekend we often play Fifa together. Since we got married I prefer watching TV. We are having a baby next year so understand our gaming time will be limited.

I'd rather him play computer games then play golf or cycle!

3 to 5 hours a day depending on what his work shifts are. Does no house or garden work. I do it all. After 18 yrs marriage ive given up, ive been a SAHM the whole time so its a big part of why I wont work, I take care of the house and the kids and he brings in money and plays on his ipad and watches tv. Hes also undiagnosed ( I think) aspergers so ive stopped trying to change him. Im under less stress when i accept it and get on with life.

Just read back my reply..thats conservative... sometimes more like up to 10 to 12 hours a day if hes got not much work on.. up all night sort of thing.

@Littlemissdaredevil

If my husband has his headset on I can mute the TV and it makes no difference to him. Are you sure you can't do the same? If not, it might actually be worth him buying a noise-cancelling headset where he can hear both the chat and audio, so at least you've only got his voice to annoy you and not the game? Usually the microphone is quite sensitive too so if he's yelling too much his mates will tell him to shut up. 🤣

(Sorry to derail, OP, just trying to help :D)

@BeanTownNancy I don’t know what type of headset he’s got.

It’s not the gaming it the being lazy and prioritising gaming above anything else which gets my goat! Doing fuck all childcare and housework when I was clearly in agony as begging for help after a physically and mentally traumatic birth is a cunty thing to do.

He has improved somewhat now but I wouldn’t say the childcare or housework was anywhere near 50/50. I don’t trust or respect him now due to his previous behaviour and feel I constantly have to be vigilant every time his selfishness starts to creep back in