To ask how many hours your DP spends playing videos games

[Cchick]

Just what the title says really.

My partner spends maybe 15-20 hours a week on average (sometimes he can spend 12 full hours!) and I was wondering how many your partners spend. I mean he's playing the games with other people, so is this normal in other households too?

FYI, we don't have any children yet and we aren't married yet. I'm just very worried that if we do marry and have kids, the family would come second to gaming. Everyone says to look out for red flags and I'm wondering if this is one?

Long story short, how many hours do your partners spend gaming and has it reduced since marrying and having children?

TIA!

Loads but a lot of the time we are playing together We are both massive gamers and that's how we met, so it's how we spend our spare downtime in the house! I'd much rather play a game together than watch TV together. It's more sociable too as we tend to chat a lot more whereas with TV it's much more passive.

Mine will have a couple of hours most days, normally when the kids are in bed and I'm busy doing something else. He'd rather switch it off and spend the evening watching something with me once we've got alone time together. Now and again I ask him to turn it off if I'm getting fed up with it and he always does. I don't mind it though, he works hard and provides for our family so it's his thing he does to relax and I don't begrudge him that.

I'm an obsessive runner, but it doesn't take 2-3 hours every day. Ditto cycling

I was going to make this point earlier but the divvys are out making themselves look foolish.

I know obsessive runners and cyclists and if they aren't doing it, or planning their next competitive thing. They're talking about it. It probably takes more headspace than gaming ever could. They don't realise how boring it is to listen too because they believe it's far more superior because it's healthy.

Obsessive about anything isn't good for their partners, unless they are into what ever thing also. It's not healthy for a relationship.

All the PP who are saying that gaming is not an adult thing please tell me you never build snowmen,never get excited about christmas/birthdays, don't eat sweets, never had a burger from a fast food place, don't ride a bike for fun because that's what children do and adults must be "adulty" at all times.

P.S TaliZorahVasNormandy keelah sal'ai

I'm an obsessive runner, but it doesn't take 2-3 hours every day. Ditto cycling

But it really depends on your priorities. I know runners who spend hours plotting running trails, run as part of clubs so 'must' go come hell or high water. Do marathons every 6-8 weeks and expect their family at the finish line at everyone. There was a thread here a while ago about a dh was upset that his wife and small children werent there to see him finish. She had spent all day trying to keep them entertained while he ran.

Cyclists (you see this here all the time) spend hours and fortunes maintaining and upgrading their bike. Join cycling clubs and teams. Again, they have to go. Spend all day, at least one day a weekend cycling with their team. Spend ages planning routes etc.

If you can run and it doesnt cause issues or take away from your family time. That's absolutely fine. No different to people who have moderately.

People who are obsessive gamers or obsessive runner or cyclists, are all the same. The problem is their interest has taken priority. Not the interest itself.

One of my closest friends is married to an incredibly selfish man. He is obsessive about his hobby, spends hours every weekend pursuing it, and travels the world to attend events, leaving my friend at home with the children.

The problem is that the obsession is running, specifically marathons and ultra marathons. Because running is considered a wholesome pastime, and because he raises lots of money for charity, his wife feels totally unable to challenge or criticise him. The last time I saw her she admitted that she is hoping he will sustain an injury severe enough to make him quit, because he won’t stop for any other reason and the only alternative is divorce. Substitute running for gaming, cycling or taxidermy and you have the substance of most AIBU threads about selfish husbands.

Don’t share your life with a selfish man, OP. Gaming is irrelevant here.

None. It would be a deal breaker.

None. Because he is a grown up.

None. Because he is a grown up

The most original comment on thread that. Bravo man, it hasn't been said yet

he raises a lot of money for charity
When I read that my mind went straight to smashie and nicey and then it went to Jimmy savile 😳

DH plays on occasion, probably between 0 and 5 hours a week, depending on what else we are doing. He'd never chose gaming over doing something else.

My ds is 18 and he's the same, although probably more hours in an average week. He used to be on much more but as he got older he became less interested.

I'd be unhappy if either one was on that much in a week.

None. Because he is a grown up.

Hahahhahahhaaaa RTFT

Good to see you thought of something original to say there, Bertrand

The men that I know of that play video games have big bellies and collect walking dead figurines and are obsessed with game of thrones

Well the men I know who watch football are all beer bellied, drunkards who go around getting into fights.
The men I know who play golf are arrogant twats who are hugely elitist about it and don’t like women.
The men I know who cycle do so every weekend dressed in Lycra and spend hours avoiding their families.

Now not all the stereotypes above are true. So why is everyone so snobby and reducing people who play games to stereotypes?

I prefer gaming to cycling or golf at leat he is in the room and I am not worried about accidents.

I couldn’t be with someone who was a gamer or did the hours of cycling every weekend !

Oh and as for the age thing, my dad who is over 70 loves Tetris, Angry Birds and a snooker game on his iPad. (He cycles 15 miles a day and walks another 5 btw)

Good to know that roughly half the adult population are pot-bellied man children.

Your dp is choosing gaming over you now op and it won’t change.

If he can’t even eat his dinner with you then he is an addict! Have you ever watched Teen Moms UK? There’s a couple on there called Chloe and Jordan and he doesn’t even take his eyes off his gaming to speak to her. They have an adorable toddler and he does the same to him. Don’t become Chloe.

My DH games a few nights a week but only after I’m in bed. It’s just not OK that you feel second best to a game. What are his good points? When DO you spend time together?

He has spent a hour or so gaming in the past, when work is done and kids in bed. Hasn't gamed for years now. I quite like computer games so play my own things occasionally. Dcs never game!

He does triathlons too. I think its bloody brilliant that he has hobbies that he enjoys.

The men that I know of that play video games have big bellies and collect walking dead figurines and are obsessed with game of thrones

Dh used to work for a very well known games company. He and his gaming friends are all fit, attractive and look good for 50+.

I play world of warcraft and read game of thrones. Im 50 +, energetic and stylish. Do have a bit of a belly though

None when were together, maybe and hour or two to wind down when he's home alone. We v.occasionally play a drunk game of Halo together after the pub

Yaaaaaay I'm not a grown-up? Goodbye, responsibilities!

I've just got OH off a level he's been stuck on for the last hour and a half by sniping all the bad guys before they hit the alarm bell...whilst I was doing that OH was doing the washing up and making a brew. He's now back on his game and I'm enjoying my brew.

The way I see it is that it’s like alcohol.

There are teenagers getting drunk in the park on white lightning.
There are students drinking WKD and Mad Dog. (It was a long time ago I was a student)
There are 20 somethings drinking nice bottled European lager.
There are people who sit at home drinking cheap corner shop vodka until they fall down the stairs.
There are men who spend half the household budget in Wetherspoons and are abusive to their wives.
There are people who enjoy a glass of wine with dinner.
There are people who take beer very seriously and travel miles to drink a certain real ale.
There are people who savour a good whisky of an evening.
There are people who drink to excess causing the end of their relationship and potentially their death.

All of these people are drinking alcohol. But you wouldn’t class them all as the same person.
You might say that you would never marry a man who drank to excess but you would marry someone who liked a glass of wine with dinner.

Just like there are many different types of alcohol and different types of people who consume it there are different types of games and different people who play them.

You cannot tar all people who play games with the brush of teenagers playing GTA or COD just like you wouldn’t liken someone who is drinking a glass of wine to a teenager pissed on white lighting.