To ask how many hours your DP spends playing videos games

[Cchick]

Just what the title says really.

My partner spends maybe 15-20 hours a week on average (sometimes he can spend 12 full hours!) and I was wondering how many your partners spend. I mean he's playing the games with other people, so is this normal in other households too?

FYI, we don't have any children yet and we aren't married yet. I'm just very worried that if we do marry and have kids, the family would come second to gaming. Everyone says to look out for red flags and I'm wondering if this is one?

Long story short, how many hours do your partners spend gaming and has it reduced since marrying and having children?

TIA!

@Jaynetheplane lovely.

Oh also, because he is sat a lot of the time, the company he works for has a gym which is free for all staff to use (which he takes full advantage of) neither himself or any of his work friends I have met, have a big belly or look unhealthy. Quite the opposite in fact. So don't judge by stereotypes.

He is also a great dad and not lazy.

@SlightlyStaleCocoPops you mean a cartoon that must’ve been on at least 20 years that I watched as a child and my children now watch.

I love the 'I didnt marry a child'comments.

I am 37. I have been married and divorced have 2 children, have a mortgage, I am a director of a uk company. I also game, moderately. Would love someone to tell me how that means I am not a grown up.

I would rather be with someone who games in moderation, than someone who cycles obsessively, uses 5 aside football eith his mates as an excuse to drink a couple of times a week or simply didnt do their fair share of housework.

All which seem to be common themes where women are posting moaning about the men they married. Theres far more of these threads, than this type where their dp over games.

@Jaynetheplane The same can be said about video games. So what now?

The issue here isn't gaming, it's lazy sod men who don't want to spend time with their families.

I'd rather have my DP who I can play video games with than someone who spends the day in front of mind numbing sport and who fucks off to the golf course at every spare moment.

Anyway I'm off to play The Last of Us in preparation for the new one releasing next year ✌🏻

"SlightlyStaleCocoPops you mean a cartoon that must’ve been on at least 20 years that I watched as a child wink and my children now watch."

Are you for real? (And btw i love The Simpsons but animation is another medium seemed for children and losers by many)

@motherheroic what can be said about video games?

I don’t watch the simpsons anymore.... I watched it as a child.... I remember a character that I made reference to... you are talking about men that play video games as an adult aren’t you? How is that the same?

Yeah well I find the fat beardy nerds who collect figurines and play video games a lot more attractive then the super ripped sporty types but hey

@Jaynetheplane that's not funny. That's nasty.

"@hensolo says a lot about you really then I can only imagine what you look like "

For someone so terribly grown up and mature that's something I'd expect to hear in the primary school playground 🙄

Zero.

We are probably older than you though OP. I. Quite pleased that gaming passed us by

Ex family member spent hours each evening gaming, and the weekends Pokemon hunting. This is despite having a young child in the home.

None. He’s an adult.
That is a ridiculous statement. Nothing wrong with gaming as a down time activity.
After all, how many adults played Candy Crush when that was hugely popular a couple if years back. Many games are aimed at 18+, ie, adults.
Dp is not a gamer, neither am I, so zero hours.

Jayne, there was no need for that.

2 nights a week maybe 1-2 hours

But gamers are the immature ones amirite, @Jaynetheplane?

@Jaynetheplane demonstrating the exemplary maturity that comes only from avoiding all games and gamers.

On a totally unrelated note, many RPG type games are quite good at helping players develop empathy.

@Jaynetheplane are you proud of that comment? Genuinely asking

Wonder what @Jaynetheplane and her DP's oh so mature and adult hobbies are?

Mumsnet is so snobbish when it comes to games. It’s pathetic.
People do realise that many games are for adults?

My husband is a game developer. He spends about 4-5 hours a week on a game, sometimes as little as 2 hours per week. I spend about 6-8 hours a week (give or take) a week. It’s a hobby, it doesn’t affect our family time. I hate the attitude of “Ooh you aren’t a grown up if you game”

We are probably older than you though OP. I. Quite pleased that gaming passed us by

How old are you?

Because my dad is 63 and we had a commodore 64 that he would have a go on.

Ex family member spent hours each evening gaming, and the weekends Pokemon hunting. This is despite having a young child in the home.

Dont you see the gaming isnt the problem.

I had pokemon go when it came out. Me AND the kids used to take the dog out and walk for ages. Kept the kids entertained an got them moving. Hot the dog walked and was family time. You spend far more time walking and chatting that actually playing the game.

If your ex family wasnt on games, he would have been avoiding spending times with his child in other way. That person could have easily incorporated that into spending time with his child. But didnt. That's the issue.

For me I'd not have dated DH if he was a gamer nor if he was an ardent sports watcher. We don't have a TV. We do have Netflix but DH is asleep before the opening credits start.

This can be your deal breaker if you want. You can outgrow a DP. It's very common.

DH might spend a couple of hours a month on a video game, he prefers the games he grew up with like Donkey Kong, Sonic The Hesgehog etc and only gets a fleeting interest in playing them - he times it for when our DC are asleep (twins are 2yo).

I on the other hand might spend a couple of hours a night on a game, it’s how I wind down and I like the long RPG games, when I was a teenager I’d probably spend a lot longer on them but nowadays I fit it around family life.

Anybody who expresses that games aren’t for adults blah blah blah, it’s fine if you don’t like them, but I wonder why you feel the need to sneer at those who do?

Also @Jaynetheplane do grow up dear.

@Cchick if he’s already showing that you come second to the games then I’d probably call it a day as it’s unlikely he’ll change - if you’ve already had a serious conversation with him about how it’s affecting your relationship and he STILL hasn’t taken action to improve, he’s unlikely to ever do so IME.