What do I do about MIL this Xmas after last year's drama??

[Itsme93]

Hey all,
I've currently got the boyf of 2 years asking me what I'm going to get his parents for Xmas.
I wouldn't usually mind as I love Xmas & buying presents however last year I had a few problems....

1. I bought his parents a fancy coffee machine as they love coffee but strangely enough they never bought themselves one so I thought, great gift. A few days after Xmas, the boyf said his mother was not happy because I 'showed her up'. I asked him how? Apparently my present was too grand as she had only bought me a size 8 crop top (which I think was a recycled present as its definitely not my style and I'm a size 12 - before anyone jumps on this about accidental wrong sizing, his mum is fully aware I'm not a size 8 nor would I ever wear a crop top!) I said it was fab etc thanks so much on the day though.
2. instead of buying his sister, I bought gifts for her little girl instead. Apparently MIL was not impressed by that and that I should have got his sister something.
3. one of the gifts I got his neice was a rocking horse which the little girl loved and Xmas day wouldn't get off it. MIL was not happy that my gift overshadowed hers and said 'I wish this gift had been from me'.
4. last Xmas I bought boyf an updated ipad as his had broken, within 6 weeks he gave it to his sister because the mother said the neice would like it to play games on. I wasn't impressed and said I'd rather have it back. Boyf still gave it to the niece

I rarely see any of his family, find them quite socially inept however I am happy to get them something. I told boyf for him to sort it out this year but he wants to do it seperately and with already asking me what I'm getting them all, he's obviously got expectations which has actually p*ssed me right off.

Do I finish with him lol I really feel like he's part of the problem and I'm fed up of these expectations of me having to impress his family like I'm not good enough, as that's how I feel.... Or do I act like nothing and just do vouchers?

He sounds like a massive arse, as do his family.

You got a top that was too small from his mother and some cheap smellies from his sister. If you are going to stay with this twat (and I'd recommend not), then get them similar shite. Cheap smellies for the sister and a top (sales still on) for his mother.

Boots aren’t doing the 3 for 2 this year are they

The one I was just in was!

Op I've only got to page one but I strongly dislike this expectation over Xmas.

I dislike their reaction to your gifts, the way he is asking you want you want etc.

I couldn't think of less Christmas spirit than this. Dump him. This will get worse and escalate as you become more and more embedded in their family. It will never get better.

This is rediculous! You've only been together for 2 Christmases. Why the hell would you be solely buying their gifts. Explain to your partner it is up to him to buy the gifts as they are not your family. Would he buy your family gifts seperate from you?

Also you could well be marrying into this family in the future. It is very common in divorces that it is the cause of extended family, especially when children become involved

"Why the hell would you be solely buying their gifts."
She isn't. Her grabby boyfriend expects OP to buy presents for his family IN ADDITION to the presents he buys for them.

Have people forgotten what Christmas is really about?

I'd be saying that to your boyfriend and his family if there was any shitty comments about your gifts. What ungrateful sods.

Frankly, I'd ditch him and his family op!

I didn't realise you and your BF were expected to EACH buy all his family presents - that's CF*ckery on your BF's part!

But why the drama about it - just say no and offer an alternative (and tell him no one does this!).

I would set a budget and just choose stuff together for all of them that you share the cost of. I would avoid large items too, unless specifically asked for, as it can look show-offy.

I think I'd seriously consider saving myself from a lifetime of recurring in-law-related misery and give myself the gift of either breaking it off with him or laying down the law (you are no longer interested in exchanging gifts with his family).

Normally I might feel awkward about that, but under these circumstances, when they've proven repeatedly how bizarre they are, I don't think it would bother me as much what they thought of me!

(And to be honest, I'm leaning more toward finding a new boyfriend. He doesn't sound that great...)

Oh dear. My husband and I buy gifts for our own sides of the family but gift it from both of us. Sorted. Any problems - which there are not because we don’t have moron relatives (the ones we have, we don’t bother with anymore). If you’re not married, no kids etc to be honest I’d bin him. I’ve seen far to many of my friends relationships ruined because of ridiculous relatives. Seriously think about it - especially when you’re saying it’s bothering you, you’re relationship and the way you see him

I thought you bought lovely, thoughtful gifts and they are CF
Tell your boyfriend to put your name in what he buys and you'll do the same for your family. And tell him not to give your gifts to him away
They are seeing you as a cash cow. Don't let them take advantage

Just get your BF's family simple gifts rather than spending so much, set yourself a limit £5-£10 per gift. Perhaps his mother would like a size 8 crop top?

Its your BF you're with, I know he comes with baggage (family) but let him deal with them and you leave them to it.

Dump him ffs. He sounds as bad as them.

Nope. Wouldn’t be buying individual gifts again for his family, after last year. Either joint presents, he chooses and you contribute, or a box of chocolates for everyone to share.

They sound like arseholes

I think anything you had have gotten them would have been met with a shitty response tbh.

And this is what it will be like for the rest of your life with you other half. Even when you start getting joint presents they will make comments that you’re tight for not buying your own.

I think it’s really sad that people think buying a gift for the niece is overstepping they mark and deliberately overshadowing the mum. I feel sorry for the relatives of those posters to probably tiptoe around eggshells during holidays as to appear generous (but not over generous as somehow that’s rude) but then not also buy sometime cheap as THAT will be rude too. Smh.

Honestly? Bin the fucking lot of them. You sound too good for any of them. Ungracious twats.

Find people who appreciate your thoughtfulness and a BF who understands where his loyalties and priorities lie.

I think there is only one thing you can do.

Run like fuck.

If ending things is in your head as an option, I’d consider that @Itsme93. I wouldn’t be putting up with this amount of drama for someone I was lukewarm about. It’s not likely to improve either.

Tell him to get presents for them from both of you.

And if he says he doesn't want to do that - tell him that after last year's farce, you're not going to get into that situation again.

BTW - does he buy presents for all of your family?

I would spend a fiver on each of them.

He and then sound very entitled. Is he worth it?

He sounds like a prick and not worth the hassle. Family likewise. Do yourself a favour. Merry Christmas.

Socks and chica for all, job done

You need to off load him op kick him into touch etc etc
He has no respect for you, clearly doesn't class you as family as why aren't you buying presents from you both???
He gave his expensive gift from you to his niece, conveyed that his mum wasn't happy (ungrateful so an so)
Save yourself now from this joke of a loser and tell him to go find someone who will put up with his and his families s#*t.

Oops, chocs! Or cheap smellies for sil and pants for mum in size 10!