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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what to say/do?

162 replies

MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 21:19

Been round to a friends for a quick catch up and a cuppa, she has a 4 year old and a newish newborn. Her DH is on nights tonight but otherwise is usually around playing with the 4yo.

I was holding the newborn (she asked me to) whilst she was in the kitchen making tea, they have a small extension just off the living room which is used as a play area and the kitchen leads on to it. My friend can see her daughter from the kitchen and I could see her from the living room.

She walked off to get some toys and came back and then went back for a few mins to get more toys. I stood up to rock the baby and took my eye off my friends other child for a few seconds. Then she came back and sat playing in front of us on the floor.

My friend came through with the cups of tea and her daughter was playing and drawing/colouring whilst we chatted. I've just come back and received a text saying why did I let her 4 year old draw on the brand new painted walls in the play area?

I didn't see her daughter do that and I obviously would have told her to stop and tell her Mum.

My friend has asked me to stump up for the tin of paint it's Farrow and Ball which I have no problem doing as I feel awful but DH has said no chance.

She's stressed out enough but I feel a little bit annoyed now...I did offer to make the teas but she said no she wanted to do it. She's said I can transfer the money or just give her the cash on Sun...we're all meant to be meeting for Sunday Brunch with another friends family but DH has said she's being a CF and all children write/draw on walls so why on earth would you get F&B paint in a kids playroom? I haven't replied yet as otherwise she is a lovely friend and DH gets on really well with her DH so don't want to rock the boat.
Am AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
justthecat · 31/10/2019 21:29

Not a chance I would pay!!

WobblyLondoner · 31/10/2019 21:31

Hang on, her daughter drew on her wall and she wants you to pay?

That is mind bogglingly stupid, absolutely no way should you be expected to pay!

Paperdolly · 31/10/2019 21:32

I would go over and ask if she’s got money troubles! What a strange thing to text.

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/10/2019 21:34

Madness.

Hanab · 31/10/2019 21:34

Her daughter her problem! You are NOT paid to be a childminder you were visiting .. CF of note!

user1493413286 · 31/10/2019 21:35

Don’t pay; I don’t leave DD with pens or crayons unless I’m supervising her or the person watching her knows that she has these. It wasn’t your job to watch her daughter and she’s the foolish one for leaving her DD with pens

Singlenotsingle · 31/10/2019 21:35

She needs to train her DC better. She's a CF.

MamaWeasel · 31/10/2019 21:35

I would not be paying!

MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 21:36

@WobblyLondoner yes it was her daughter on her wall. She's annoyed at me because she feels I should have been watching the children.

In fairness I could have been stood with the baby in the playroom but I was sat down on the sofa holding her...I stood up when she started to cry and rocked her a little and didn't see the need to go in to the playroom as her other daughter was making a lot of noise rummaging through her toys.

OP posts:
kaldefotter · 31/10/2019 21:36

What planet is she on? Don’t give her a penny, for heaven’s sake.

Angrywife · 31/10/2019 21:38

I'd reply that you weren't away she had been expecting you to monitor her daughter while she was making the tea, especially as you knew she could see her own daughter from where she was. Had you been aware you wouldn't have tended to the baby and turned away resulting in you missing the drawing on the wall moment no doubt like she missed it when she turned away to make the tea.
I'd then send a link for the scrubable paints you can get and suggest it might be a better choice.
I can't believe there are people so hard faced to behave like that!

AppleKatie · 31/10/2019 21:38

😮nope no chance.

If she’s usually lovely put it down to sleep deprivation and give her a hug.

If this is the last straw in your relationship laugh in her face.

hauntedvagina · 31/10/2019 21:38

She's a CF, tell her no way! This reminds me of Joey from Friends, "Oh my god! You broke my fridge!"

pictish · 31/10/2019 21:39

“I’m confused. Why do you think I should pay for paint?”

PeopleWhoRun · 31/10/2019 21:39

Good lord. She is being unreasonable.
I second you, who does use Farrow and Ball there.
Does she have any of the left over paint in that shade? I might be doing things wrong, but I tend to keep any leftovers for a few months in case I need to patch it up.

Winterdaysarehere · 31/10/2019 21:40

Offer her 25p for a dish cloth at most..
Suggest she keeps pens away from she dc unless she is watching her.

VanyaHargreeves · 31/10/2019 21:42

Massive CF

Her child

Pens/Crayons she bought

I would literally text back

"I didn't see her do it, and as for your cheeky request : Your child, your crayons, your wall, your problem"

The fact that you would do it but your DH has sensibly put his foot down suggests that she has taken the piss out of you financially before and got away with it, thus thinking she'll do so again.

So many stories of massive chancers tonight

annie987 · 31/10/2019 21:44

No way! Perhaps she’d have a point if she’d expressly asked you to watch her daughter while she made tea. Super super cheeky! Not sure how you’ll get through this one to be honest!

pictish · 31/10/2019 21:45

Seriously, ask her what she’s on about. Make her explain herself. Hopefully in the process of doing so she will realise what a tit she is being and give up with her madness.

danadas · 31/10/2019 21:48

What a weird thing to say to you. Has she done anything like that before? Not a chance I would be paying for her kids fuck up.

Winterdaysarehere · 31/10/2019 21:49

Ask her to wait til the week end and you will send Lawrence Lewelyn Bowen round to sort it out...
As fucking if...

TrainspottingWelsh · 31/10/2019 21:49

Tell her to fuck off. Perhaps phrase it more diplomatically.

When dd was about 3 my friend, a mother of two older girls was minding her one afternoon in my house, while I did something with her preteen. In the time it took friend to nip to the loo, dd managed to uniquely decorate a large patch of the hall way with poster paint. The hall I'd finished decorating only days before. We laughed, shit happens. It wouldn't have occurred to me to expect her to pay for my child's damages.

What kind of knob has the money for farrow and ball but doesn't buy a washable paint for a playroom?

Ohyesiam · 31/10/2019 21:49

She is aCF for sure, but you state you wouldn’t have a problem with it?

ExcitedForFuture · 31/10/2019 21:50

WTAF! No way should you pay for that! What a fucking piss take!

Krazynights34 · 31/10/2019 21:50

Honestly no way would I pay. Were you hired to care for either child? Of course not. It could have been done any time. I’d not be in touch with her again tbh

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