Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what to say/do?

162 replies

MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 21:19

Been round to a friends for a quick catch up and a cuppa, she has a 4 year old and a newish newborn. Her DH is on nights tonight but otherwise is usually around playing with the 4yo.

I was holding the newborn (she asked me to) whilst she was in the kitchen making tea, they have a small extension just off the living room which is used as a play area and the kitchen leads on to it. My friend can see her daughter from the kitchen and I could see her from the living room.

She walked off to get some toys and came back and then went back for a few mins to get more toys. I stood up to rock the baby and took my eye off my friends other child for a few seconds. Then she came back and sat playing in front of us on the floor.

My friend came through with the cups of tea and her daughter was playing and drawing/colouring whilst we chatted. I've just come back and received a text saying why did I let her 4 year old draw on the brand new painted walls in the play area?

I didn't see her daughter do that and I obviously would have told her to stop and tell her Mum.

My friend has asked me to stump up for the tin of paint it's Farrow and Ball which I have no problem doing as I feel awful but DH has said no chance.

She's stressed out enough but I feel a little bit annoyed now...I did offer to make the teas but she said no she wanted to do it. She's said I can transfer the money or just give her the cash on Sun...we're all meant to be meeting for Sunday Brunch with another friends family but DH has said she's being a CF and all children write/draw on walls so why on earth would you get F&B paint in a kids playroom? I haven't replied yet as otherwise she is a lovely friend and DH gets on really well with her DH so don't want to rock the boat.
Am AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 21:52

@Paperdolly definitely no money problems.

@hauntedvagina my DH has just said the same thing! Grin

To the rest of you thank you I honestly didn't know what to say.

I've just text back saying ha ha ha will see you guys on Sun... no response as yet Confused

OP posts:
holidays987 · 31/10/2019 21:53

Are you intending to remain friends with her?

Has she ever suggested anything cheeky like this before?

I don't see why you should be expected to pay for anything. How does she even know that's when it happened, it's not your fault anyway.

Knittedfairies · 31/10/2019 21:54

More fool her for using Farrow & Ball paint in a play area. Do not pay for any more paint.

FlamingoQueen · 31/10/2019 21:57

What a fab idea! I wish when my children were little I’d thought of that. I could have made my dc draw on the wall whilst someone else was watching them and then made that friend pay for expensive paint!
If her dd drew on the walls in her own house there is no way on this earth that you should pay for paint. Perhaps she should teach her dd not to draw on walls just in case she does it in someone else’s house.

Drum2018 · 31/10/2019 22:00

Not a chance I'd pay a penny towards it. If it was your child fair enough but definitely not when it was hers.

MereDintofPandiculation · 31/10/2019 22:02

Who's to say that her daughter drew on the wall while the mother was making tea? She could have done it at another time.

MereDintofPandiculation · 31/10/2019 22:03

... If neither of you saw her do it, her mother is jumping to conclusions. If her mother saw her do it, then why didn't she stop her?

StoneofDestiny · 31/10/2019 22:05

What?
No chance would I even consider paying, no chance I'd keep up this friendship either.
(How do you even know when drawing was done? Tell her it's her problem, get a Magic Eraser on it, and she'll have plenty of extra time to clean up now your friendship has ended)

poppinpink · 31/10/2019 22:06

What????!!!!! ShockConfusedHmm

pictish · 31/10/2019 22:08

ha ha ha - I like that. It’s a fitting response.

VanyaHargreeves · 31/10/2019 22:10

Even if she did paint over it, it would look different to the rest of the walls and properly shit, wouldn't it? 🤔

Meirou90 · 31/10/2019 22:10

This is outrageous, do not give her a penny. And that’s an order! Wink

Fatted · 31/10/2019 22:11

Thw child has probably drawn on that wall months ago and your friend has invited you round as a ruse to get some money out of you!!

My 6YO spilt milk on my new floor today, can you please send me 20 quid for that as well OP?!

1Morewineplease · 31/10/2019 22:13

I’m with everyone here... do not pay. Not your fault at all.

MyNewBearTotoro · 31/10/2019 22:16

She’s a complete chancer! If it was your child Or if you were a paid childminder then maybe her request would be fair enough, but you were just a guest in her house. Of course she can’t expect you to pay!

chuck7 · 31/10/2019 22:16

Don't be such a doormat OP, I can't believe you'd agree to that! Wow.

Iloveacurry · 31/10/2019 22:20

Cheeky cow! Let us know her reply.

Cherrysherbet · 31/10/2019 22:22

I love your response! What a cf she is! Well done op.

MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 22:25

@Ohyesiam I have absolutely no problem paying for it if people thought I was being unreasonable...sorry that's what I meant.

I honestly don't know why my friend has asked for this we've been fine. A while ago she forgot her purse and I ended up paying she didn't pay it back for ages but did pay it back when I said ooh just gets our starters for what you owe me when we were at a meal while back she wasn't funny about it.

Was just abit surprised...she's sent one back saying if I'm short this month just sort in next months wage.

I've sent one back saying do you not have any spare paint then sent her a link to the washable dulux paint...hopefully subtle enough to say that's not happening without it becoming a drama...all abit bizarre I swear Halloween brings out the madness in people.

OP posts:
Zebraaa · 31/10/2019 22:28

Agree with others... no evidence to suggest she did draw on the walls whilst you were there. Could have been any time.

Can’t believe she has the audacity to expect you to buy more paint.

HollowTalk · 31/10/2019 22:31

It's far, far more likely that her daughter did it (when you weren't there) when her mum was busy with the baby. The fact she only noticed it just after you left doesn't mean that's when it was done.

MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 22:33

The walls were painted on Monday so definitely knew she sent a pic and said lovely colour looks great...so definitely recently painted walls.

DH wants to say something to her DH but I've said no as don't want any awkwardness on Sun as I really enjoy the group brunches and all the DHs get on.

Thanks to you all I have come to my senses and will not be paying! I don't even know why I considered it I suppose as she's got a newborn and been stressed lately I didn't want to add to her stress.

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 31/10/2019 22:34

She'll be expecting you to pay for the washable paint so be careful sending any links. Tell her she can probably pick up a couple of tester pots of the F&B paint but that you will not be paying for her dd's misbehaviour.

MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 22:36

@Drum2018 good idea with the tester pots didn't think of that will say that next if she texts back or mentions it on Sun.

OP posts:
Pretenditsaplan · 31/10/2019 22:36

Send her back an invoice for your time as a nanny (at least 3 times the price of the paint). If she thinks you had resposibility for her children for that time why arent you getting paid? Rounded up to the nearest hour of how long you were there of course as you dont know it happened in the 5 minutes she was getting tea.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread