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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know what to say/do?

162 replies

MoonlightDancer · 31/10/2019 21:19

Been round to a friends for a quick catch up and a cuppa, she has a 4 year old and a newish newborn. Her DH is on nights tonight but otherwise is usually around playing with the 4yo.

I was holding the newborn (she asked me to) whilst she was in the kitchen making tea, they have a small extension just off the living room which is used as a play area and the kitchen leads on to it. My friend can see her daughter from the kitchen and I could see her from the living room.

She walked off to get some toys and came back and then went back for a few mins to get more toys. I stood up to rock the baby and took my eye off my friends other child for a few seconds. Then she came back and sat playing in front of us on the floor.

My friend came through with the cups of tea and her daughter was playing and drawing/colouring whilst we chatted. I've just come back and received a text saying why did I let her 4 year old draw on the brand new painted walls in the play area?

I didn't see her daughter do that and I obviously would have told her to stop and tell her Mum.

My friend has asked me to stump up for the tin of paint it's Farrow and Ball which I have no problem doing as I feel awful but DH has said no chance.

She's stressed out enough but I feel a little bit annoyed now...I did offer to make the teas but she said no she wanted to do it. She's said I can transfer the money or just give her the cash on Sun...we're all meant to be meeting for Sunday Brunch with another friends family but DH has said she's being a CF and all children write/draw on walls so why on earth would you get F&B paint in a kids playroom? I haven't replied yet as otherwise she is a lovely friend and DH gets on really well with her DH so don't want to rock the boat.
Am AIBU or is she?

OP posts:
MoonlightDancer · 03/11/2019 20:24

Hi quick update arrived with DH at brunch today with the others some of the DHs had been playing football with other friends including friends DH but not her.

We waited 20 mins for her...her DH was getting annoyed and everyone was hungry including other friends so he kept ringing her...20 mins later she finally replied saying she wasn't coming.

I took friends DH to one side when ordering more drinks and told what had happened...he didn't have a clue and was really annoyed with her! He went off to phone her and reappeared furious nobody knew apart from me DH and friends DH. When everyone else asked where she was her DH said she's not feeling well, phone on silent and sleeping etc.

We ate then everyone went their separate ways, her DH said come back to theirs to get it sorted. I was abit hesitant but went...she was surprised to see us...invited us in...I just said look this is madness we are friends...me and DH left saying there is no reason for anyone to fall out!

I've just received a text saying I'm being an idiot and sorry...everything is just so full on are you around next sat? My reply...It's forgotten yep around can go for tea and cake somewhere...so I think I can safely say that things are back to normal thanks for all your replies...sometimes things are such a minefield you never quite know if you're being unreasonable. Mumsnet common sense Jury 1 crazy 0

OP posts:
Motoko · 03/11/2019 21:03

Wow, so she didn't want to face you at the brunch. Bet when you turned up at hers, she shat herself.

I had a feeling she hadn't said anything to her DH, because he would've mentioned it to yours. I wonder what would've happened, if you had paid up.

Still, I'm glad she's apologised, and hasn't damaged your friendship by insisting she's in the right. Enjoy your cake and coffee next week.

And thanks for updating!

Chunkers · 03/11/2019 21:06

Yes, thanks for updating. Glad to hear it’s all been sorted.

Drum2018 · 03/11/2019 21:08

Glad it's sorted now.

WonderTweek · 03/11/2019 21:12

OP sounds like a lovely person. Smile Glad it's all sorted now.

NameChangedForTheDay · 03/11/2019 22:52

A happy outcome OP. Thanks for updating us. Well done for staying so level headed.

Organicmamahope · 03/11/2019 22:54

She's no friend.

Pumpkintopf · 03/11/2019 22:55

Good outcome op.

VanyaHargreeves · 03/11/2019 23:02

Result

S0upertrooper · 03/11/2019 23:42

Well done OP, you're a bigger woman than I am. My response would have been to cut her out, which is not necessarily always the best thing to do. I hope she appreciates your generosity of spirit.

CalmdownJanet · 03/11/2019 23:45

An outcome that ends in cake is always a good one Grin. Glad it worked out

RockinHippy · 03/11/2019 23:57

Thanks fir the update. I'm so glad that it's such a good one. It does sound like she is struggling though, but at least now you all know.

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