To not know what to say/do?

[MoonlightDancer]

Been round to a friends for a quick catch up and a cuppa, she has a 4 year old and a newish newborn. Her DH is on nights tonight but otherwise is usually around playing with the 4yo.

I was holding the newborn (she asked me to) whilst she was in the kitchen making tea, they have a small extension just off the living room which is used as a play area and the kitchen leads on to it. My friend can see her daughter from the kitchen and I could see her from the living room.

She walked off to get some toys and came back and then went back for a few mins to get more toys. I stood up to rock the baby and took my eye off my friends other child for a few seconds. Then she came back and sat playing in front of us on the floor.

My friend came through with the cups of tea and her daughter was playing and drawing/colouring whilst we chatted. I've just come back and received a text saying why did I let her 4 year old draw on the brand new painted walls in the play area?

I didn't see her daughter do that and I obviously would have told her to stop and tell her Mum.

My friend has asked me to stump up for the tin of paint it's Farrow and Ball which I have no problem doing as I feel awful but DH has said no chance.

She's stressed out enough but I feel a little bit annoyed now...I did offer to make the teas but she said no she wanted to do it. She's said I can transfer the money or just give her the cash on Sun...we're all meant to be meeting for Sunday Brunch with another friends family but DH has said she's being a CF and all children write/draw on walls so why on earth would you get F&B paint in a kids playroom? I haven't replied yet as otherwise she is a lovely friend and DH gets on really well with her DH so don't want to rock the boat.
Am AIBU or is she?

Firstly who puts F&B paint on a kids playroom?

Secondly did she actually ask you to watch the eldest child? Or just assume? If she asked you to watch them I can see why she is a bit pissed off, if not then she is just going ott

Hope tomorrow is ok.
You've definitely done the right thing.
She will not be seeing sense as still in the new born haze of hormones and lack of sleep

She's absolutely nuts!! Charging you for paint wtaf?! I wouldn't do that even if it was your child and you'd watched them do it!

You’ve handled this well, OP.

I’m like you and dislike confrontation, I would make light of it too, especially if as you say she’s usually lovely.

None of my kids ever drew on walls, but that’s because I’d supervise them drawing/painting at the dining table while I cooked for example... but even if I needed the loo they’d know damn well not to draw on walls!

If she isn’t lighthearted or apologetic tomorrow (could still be sleep deprived and acting a bit crazy, or maybe she has PND?) then I’d continue to make a joke out of it. Say your hourly rate for childminding is X so “I guess we’ll just call it even!”

If it’s ink, tell her to spray hairspray on it, then wipe off with a damp cloth (would patch test somewhere first).

This whole scenario sounds quite mad.

I think you responses have calm collected and very considerate to her.

Hopefully it’s just the sleep deprivation and hormones ruling your friend.

Good luck for tomorrow, I hope all goes well.

Your text was good. She was bonkers to even suggest you buying paint.

Her child her walls her home. Absolutely not would I even consider the thought of buying paint!
Suggest to her a magic eraser and be done. I dont even think I would want to be friends with someone who has such audacity!

Hope all goes well tomorrow but agree you shouldn't pay for the paint!

* I didn't see her child draw on the wall*

I know- sorry I should've worded my reply better. What I was trying to say is, even if I'd had a friend who was watching my LO draw on the wall, I'd never do what your friend did and expect them to fork out for replacement paint. What is she like with you generally? You seem so nice and I get the feeling she/others take advantage of that? Total assumption here. Hope I'm wrong.

Seriously - that is the biggest CFery I have encountered for a long, long while.
Quite staggering.

DO NOT PAY THAT CF A PENNY.

cheeky mare.

I'm very curious to see what happens today. Hopefully she has given her head a wobble. I'm quite surprised OP's DH didn't mention it to the CFer's DH though. It would certainly be something I'd want to talk about (and find out WTF she is thinking)

You handled it well

OP, you said you heard the daughter rummaging through the toys, if you could hear her rummaging, she wasn't drawing on the walls.

I'd also wonder if the drawing had been done at that point. I guess it depends on when the child's mother was last in the playroom, could have been done before OP arrived.

Also intrigued at what's going to happen today. Fingers crossed everything is normal and she doesn't mention it.
You have handled it well.

Waiting to see what will happen. Hope she backs down.

Ha ha ha she’s a bit deluded.

It's odd her DH hadn't mentioned it to your DH. Does he even know? I'd have let your DH speak to hers, just to find out what's going on.

How did brunch go OP?

How do some people even have friends.

why did I let her 4 year old draw on the brand new painted walls in the play area?

Because I didn't want to stifle her creativity?

How completely ridiculous. She knows a sentient human wouldn't just sit and watch a child draw on newly painted walls.

She is on the make.

You are definitely doing the right thing by not paying her. Cannot believe her behavior actually! Hope brunch went OK.

SIBU! My DD drew on my sister’s sofa with wax crayons 🤦‍♀️ We obviously agreed to pay half towards the cleaning bill! (And my sister was supervising the children). Kids draw on things. I’d text her saying maybe it was be a better idea to repaint the wall with blackboard paint then she can be as creative as she likes?!

What happened today ? I'm so nosey

How was brunch OP?