Relocation to San Francisco

[Lizbiz89]

My oh has been approached for a job in San Francisco. It's kind of come out of the blue which has shocked me slightly. We have 2 young children (2.7 and 6 month).

I'm obviously trying to be very open minded about it but I'm very hesitant. Mainly because we have a lot of family/friends close by which we will lose being so far away.

However on the other hand San Francisco is a lovely part of the world and I feel like my children may have a better lifestyle growing up in a warmer climate and beaches close by.

Does anyone have any experience of moving to the US? Would love to hear other people's opinions and experiences.

Not massively helpful but I know SF can be a hideously expensive place to live.

Will the salary be sufficient to give you a similar/better lifestyle to what you currently have?

Go. It's a fantastic opportunity

I’d live across the bay, not in SF. The homelessness in Downtown SF is genuinely shocking but the locals are used to it/ immune - there are people in clear need of help, medical help etc who are left to lie o the streets.
The fires are a real thing - my friends in SF currently wearing filter masks to work.
It’s a great cover in many ways but expensive - make sure the job pay covers that plus medical.

SF is a gorgeous part of the world and there is a real community vibe in the main commuter towns. In your position I would definitely go.

We made a similar stateside move at the same stage in our family (except I was also pregnant at the time - not smart timing!) and I can honestly say we had a ball. Loss of adventures and shared experiences. Sure we had no support ( but we didn’t anyway back in London) but we Made up our own family rules and to this day have fantastic shared memories. Family came to visit and got loads out of our move too. We did come back but we always expected to - it was more of a long posting than a Permanent move.
I say do it!

I agree SAN Francisco is a lovely area . However I’d have several concerns

Will you have a visa that allows your to work there ?

What happens if you split up? He can stop you bringing the kids back to the Uk and if you can’t work, what will you do there ?

Fabulous opportunity.

Its expensive. Is the package offered going to e able you to live comfortably?

I have family in that area. I love the climate. Not too hot in the summer, and pleasant in winter.

SF is cripplingly expensive (rent/housing). I have been to the Bay Area a lot with work and have friends who live there. In the 20 years I have been going it's got massively busier and more crowded everywhere. The weather is not as cold and grey as here, but SF itself is prone to coastal fog and rain. There are areas of extreme wealth and extreme deprivation.

US employers really do expect a lot of commitment in terms of hours and paid holiday is a lot less than here - even at tech companies where they claim to have unlimited time off no-one takes more than about two weeks a year.

There are a lot of homeless people in the City but partly that's because they are not hounded out by the authorities as they are in some other US cities.

There may be beaches close by but the water is far too cold to swim. It's not the Mediterranean.

I relocated to SF once. Great city. Really expensive. Bloody freezing. And I found the level of homeless unsettling. I love the city. I'm not sure I could live there again with kids though. Definitely check the salary and relocation package is generous, that health care isn't 95% copay, and what kind of visa/work entitlement you might have.

There are places in the world that I would actually like to relocate to but SF is absolutely one of them, amazing city! I would go!

It would need to be an absolute f**k ton of money for me to do it. Our corporate HQ is in silicon valley and I love visiting, but my colleagues are very vocal about how much everything costs. The traffic would drive me insane too, and of course you can't live close enough to work to not have to deal with that.

I moved to SF and lived there for 3 years - no kids. Great experience and adventure which I don’t regret, but not a place I’d like to settle in/raise kids long term. Lots of things for you to consider: your visa/status, education for the kids if you stay, salary, Job (most likely will be an “at will contract” so can be let go with little notice, earthquakes are a real thing etc.

Renting is very expensive. You may likely not live in SF proper. The Bay Area (wider area) has some great cities. Check out Walnut Creek and Lafayette in the East Bay, if that works for your commute.

YY to Walnut Creek - Also Pleasanton, at one time safest city in the US by some statistic - also Livermore, but all expensive these days

I spend a lot of time in SF - it's beautiful and the weather is great (earthquakes and fires notwithstanding) but hideously expensive in terms of housing so you'd want to ensure you get a significant lift in salary.

As other have said the homelessness in downtown is distressing. Healthcare and schools also pricey.

Not only is it insanely expensive, it's really become trashy in some areas as they are open to loiters. It's become very unsafe in areas. We recently had to cancel half our trip to come home because it's not what it used to be and we were accosted twice by homeless individuals in the 'nicer' areas.

I love San Francisco, we lived inland for nealry 30 years and Dh worked in the East Bay for most of it.
So many lovely areas to choose from, not sure I'd want to actually live right in the city though.

Thanks for all of the replies. My oh is a specialist in the car industry so I would imagine the package would be quite generous. Obviously we want to be able to have a good lifestyle out there. He already works long hours here and has been reassured the hours will not be longer than he already does. The company is in the outskirts (Newark)? Apparently that's a bit more on the outskirts. Santa Cruz is a 45 minute drive which is lovely beach (I went when I was younger). Just very nerve wracking moving a young family 😟.

I stayed in Walnut Creek for a few days last summer. Straight train into SF and nice area. Seemed like an affluent area though, so I agree with others - a good relocation package would be needed.

No. Sadly I would not take the risk of relocating internationally with very young children as if you split, he could stop you coming back with them.

When your children are so young, it can be quite unequal a division of roles and a stressful time anyway. I wouldn't put an international move on top of that. He'll be working, meeting people, expanding... you'll be holding the babies, far from the support of people you know and trust when you need it the most, unable to work.

I would say no while they are so young.

I lived and worked in Downtown for several years back in the day and loved it. That was a long time ago and things have undoubtedly changed for the worse socially and economically, and I understand some of the concerns that others are raising. That said, things have changed for the worse in most places. At the time (1990s), I had never seen street life so lurid (and I was not green) whereas much of what shocked me then is commonplace in cities everywhere now.

I don't think I personally would live in the US now: it's way more toxic sociopolitically (although again, here is too). But Frisco I might make an exception for. It's different from other US cities - cosmopolitan in a way that feels European in all the ways you'll miss if you live Stateside, but simultaneously free of the baggage that European history and culture necessarily brings with it. It's a magical place in lots of ways, and if you're up for an adventure you'd be mad to pass up this opportunity imo.

But yes, everyone's right, check the health plan etc. And talk through your decision-making algorithm before you go, what if he's happy and you're miserable etc., how best can you leave things here so that you could come back if necessary. I would not expect the worst though. Yanks get a lot of flak on MN, but west coasters in particular are warmly welcoming, communitarian people and you will find it hard not to make friends.

I live on the east coast of the US. We recently had an offer to relocate to the west coast and we turned it down because to live in a good school area we'd be looking at well over $1m for a 3-4 bed house.

SF is even more expensive than the area we were looking at.

Also California has by far the highest rate of homelessness in the US, and a lot of it is in SF.

Moving to the US with small kids has been a great experience for us, but I don't think we'd have been able to enjoy it anywhere near as much somewhere as expensive as SF unless DH had been on a really amazing package.

State schools are very poor except in the most expensive neighborhoods. Private schools are more expensive and competitive than London. Many private schools do not offer sibling privileges. The streets are filthy with human feces and used needles. Laws are not enforced. Progressive politics are leading to anarchy. It's no longer a nice place to live.

I lived there for 6 years as a child when my father’s job was relocated - we lived in a lovely commuter town near San Francisco called Burlingame.

It was 30+ years ago now, but I remember how happy we were there. It was a great place to be a child.

I went back to Burlingame a couple of years ago while on holiday in California - it’s still lovely and I would definitely recommend it as a place to live.

We have family just outside SF near the airport. The husband was raised in the city but they couldn't afford to buy there even on two professional salaries - they bought a modest house that needed doing up on the outskirts and it cost a fortune.

It's a lovely area and I enjoy visiting, but I have to agree with PP's that it's difficult to have a good quality of life unless you have ALOT of money. Newark is well outside SF, but I doubt you'll get much change out of $1 million if you buy a house.

I'm also shocked by the homelessness when I visit. It's extreme, people with obvious MH issues wandering or lying in the streets. I haven't seen anything so bad in other parts of the U.S. Again, this is in SF proper, though, I expect Newark is better.

Surfing there is great, but it's not exactly warm!