Relocation to San Francisco

[Lizbiz89]

My oh has been approached for a job in San Francisco. It's kind of come out of the blue which has shocked me slightly. We have 2 young children (2.7 and 6 month).

I'm obviously trying to be very open minded about it but I'm very hesitant. Mainly because we have a lot of family/friends close by which we will lose being so far away.

However on the other hand San Francisco is a lovely part of the world and I feel like my children may have a better lifestyle growing up in a warmer climate and beaches close by.

Does anyone have any experience of moving to the US? Would love to hear other people's opinions and experiences.

My friend moved out there with her young baby from London for her DH's job. She was able to get a work visa and has a good job there herself now. They are really happy and have no regrets moving out there. They are in South Bay around Redwood City.

Not sure why people are talking about buying a home, presumably as a short term relocation you'd rent and I'd expect the employer to have a package that can cover that. If not then don't go. Housing is a huge issue in northern California and will eat up your income if you don't have the budget for it.

Newark is a fair way from San Francisco. 39 miles, a good hour and half in traffic at best of times.

We have great public schools and not so great. You can see the scores for all, which is a good way to check which city to live in. Rents are horrendous. 3500 for a two bed one bath apartment. There are lovely places to live and raise kids, commutable to Newark. Walnut Creek is beautiful and cheaper than the city. I'd give it a go.

I'd be boring and at those ages stay where there is family support.

Cheapest house is going up for auction this week starting at 650k for a one bed! Rent for a one bed is starting around $3k p/m.
Be aware of the progressive anarchy, and I would avoid anything Nancy Peloski has governed. They are extremely P.C, to a fault. Inclusive to the point of exclusive. She is running SF into the ground. There is so much homelessness, where there are huge camps and people cannot enter these areas for healthy and safety.

USA is beautiful, but if you're paying for it, avoid SF.

You only regret what you didn't do!

I moved to the US when my children were young and we had four fabulous years there. We now live in Australia and love our life and the opportunities we have had. It made our family unit stronger too. Having said that, I know some families who've made big moves and haven't coped being away from extended family. So I couldn't tell you what to do, but for us, it was the best thing we ever did.

We live in the east bay. We moved here around 10 years ago and absolutely love it.

I would check what relocation package you are being offered. The whole Bay Area is expensive. But on a good wage is do-able. Make sure you have great health insurance with low co pays.

We were meant to come for a few years but ended up staying. It's always worth the experience.

@Regretfulandstupid 'progressive anarchy' 😂

Yes, there is a homeless problem. It's not due to the progressives. It's more representative of how unequal the system in the US is. Gentrification, highly paid tech jobs, a bad tax system all lend to the problem.

But the progressives have made it somewhere people feel welcome irrespective of background.

and I would avoid anything Nancy Peloski has governed

What had Nancy Pelosi governed??? Why do you think Nancy Pelosi is running SF into the ground when she is the leader of the House - nothing to do with the governance of SF.

I'm in the US. I wouldn't move there myself because of the homeless problem which is horrendous. But shit all to do with Nancy Pelosi.

That part of the East Bay is lovely. Go for it.

US schools are not as good as UK schools in the early years. A larger % of students don’t learn to read because they teach reading very badly.

And vaccinations are mandatory in California to the point where a Dr has to vaccinate your child even if they believe it will be harmful to them. (New laws came in a few months ago)

Really check California out before you take this job. But no way I would consider it a great place for children

US schools are not as good as UK schools in the early years.

Hard to make sweeping statements like that. Very dependent on the individual school district. Many are better than UK, many are worse.

No experience of moving abroad but I know someone who lives in SF.
Her view is that it is incredibly expensive and the crime rate is through the roof.
You can't leave your car anywhere as they are constantly broken into and burglaries are very very common.

There's so much to do there though that kids would likely get more out of being there than here. I'd be worried about the crime rate personally.

There is a lot of fear mongering from some people here. People who have no experience of living in the Bay Area and rely on hearsay.

Yes, it's shit expensive. And yes, there is a homeless problem

The schools, just like England, are dependent on the area. There are some fabulous schools here. Kids start a year later than in the Uk, but eventually everything evens out.

The crime rate is not through the roof. Some areas have a higher crime rate. Just like most countries 🤦🏽‍♀️ Do I feel safe walking through the city? Yes. Do my kids walk home from school? Yes. Do my kids play on the street? Yes.

My friend moved from Chiswick to Burlingame and chose it because it has a kind of high street. She loved it there. They are now in San Mateo and love it there too. Her partner works in SF. Previously they had rented in the west of SF getting the tram in to work. I've visited a number of times and really enjoyed it. It's a fabulous climate and way of life. Go for it.

In the 10 years I've been here, my car hasn't been broken into and I haven't been burgled yet. Whereas in the Uk it had. Should I infer the Uk is less safe?

You need to do what's right for you. The biggest thing to ensure is the compensation and benefits make sense. Research the cost of renting, people do underestimate the prices.

But we are an hour away from the beach, two hours from the snow. The food, people and outdoor lifestyle is just amazing.

We have family who live and work near SF. I’d go in a heart beat. The US is a much better country to raise children imvho.

My husband’s HQ is in the Valley and so we have on and off considered moving to SF. It always boils down to we have a very nice life in London and SF would not offer that due to cost of housing, even with a much higher salary. Salaries are much higher in the US so what looks like a good salary from a U.K. perspective needs to be thoroughly checked out.

Increasingly staff at his company want to move away from the Bay Area to Seattle, Austin, Denver etc. People are actively looking for 100% remote jobs due to the cost of housing.

I'd be finding out the exact details of the package and asking those on the know on here. There are pros and cons but you need to work with the facts.

Also - would you be leaving a career behind? Would you be allowed to work?

Also, are you married?

I haven't lived in SF but have visited. the one thing that stood out is the complete indifference to homelessness. It's truly shocking

Plus it's freezing and expensive

I'd think very, very carefully about it due to the reasons a couple of people upthread mentioned.

You have small kids, you'll be alone far away from your support networks. It will be hard.

If (perish the thought!) your relationship suffers as a result, the kids will be considered resident in the US and you won't be allowed to bring them back to the UK unless your OH also agrees. Imagine your OH now has a fantastic permanent job in the US (and maybe a fantastic new girlfriend too...) Then he might say no. If you do it anyway, it will be considered child-kidnapping and the kids will be taken off you. (Google 'Hague convention').

So you have the choice of staying in the US, trying to find work, etc; or going home without your kids.

This does happen to people.

I'd at least have an agreement with your OH that you will try it for x years, but then you come back to the UK unless you BOTH agree otherwise. It's no guarantee but it's better than nothing.

We moved to the Bay Area when the kids were 3 and 5. I agree that housing is cheaper outside of the city but still very expensive. Check out schools in the areas you are looking at - the school districts vary in quality significantly and that impacts rents - and factor in you will be paying for any pre-school/nursery privately until kindergarten (which may only be a half day). I left family support and half days in a school nursery to no support / babysitting/ childcare. When trying to find a house and get settled that was a shock!
We had a great time in many ways, but it was very hard in lots of others. I’m not sure I would do it again.

What sort of package would the OP be looking at to be comfortable? I’m getting the impression £100k just ain’t gonna cut it! Half a million?

Thanks for the replies everyone. The childcare part is a big issue of mine as we have quite a lot of support here. Eg my dd is in nursery 3 mornings a week and I see my mum the other 2 mornings.

Also I had no idea about the potential nightmare with getting your children back if you chose to split. Obviously my oh and I are very happy but I do know you have to cautious about those things.

I think it'll boil down to what package my oh gets offered. We're not married at the moment but we plan on getting married soon so that's not an issue.

Has anyone got any knowledge of Newark on the outskirts?

Hideously expensive and I'd be worried about health insurance. Wouldn't move my kids to a country where we can only get healthcare if we pay. Plus Trump. Yeah... No.