Should I escalate a staff member grabbing my son and calling him a liar?

[RHSDrama]

I was in a RHS garden today, in the restaurant at lunch with DS (7) and DD (3). It was packed. We were by the sandwiches and DS had chosen. I was bending down helping DD when I noticed a bit of a kerfuffle next to me and heard a MOS staff say DS “come with me”. I stood up and he had grabbed my sons arm and was leading him away, DS had gone a bit frozen and looked upset.

I followed obvs and they stopped a few feet away the guy pointed at a piece of Blu Tac and said “what’s that?” DS said “I don’t know, I’m sorry” and the guy said “don’t LIE you LIAR, throw your rubbish in the bin!” At which point I said something like “DO NOT speak to my son like that” and the guy sort of half ran away without meeting my eye.

DS, who is lovely and well behaved little boy was quite upset and a bit tearful, so I reassured him and got in the queue to pay. The MOS passed again and I stopped him and said “grabbing my son is completely unacceptable etc etc” and he said “don’t worry, it’s OK” then hustled off again.

Queuing up I was getting more and more aggy about it, especially the bit where he grabbed my sons arm to take him away from me... this very obviously a small child standing next to his mother??

So I spoke to the manager, she was apologetic and I saw her speaking to him. Five minutes later he was back out by the tables.

ANYWAY so sorry this is so long but I’m now wondering whether to email the garden to follow up? Or accept the that I’ve informed the manager and leave it there?

P.S the blu tac wasn’t my sons, the manager confirmed it was there to hold up a sign which had fallen off.

It is absolutely not ok for anyone to take hold of your child and lead them away from you. This is the part I would push hardest when you email. Calling your son a liar is also very much not on, and I'm sure it was very upsetting for him (poor lad), but is possibly not in the same realm of seriousness in terms of safeguarding.

I'd take it further and, as pointed out above, I'd make a point of saying that he most likely wouldn't have grabbed another adult, so why the hell did this MOS think it was ok to man handle a child?

The outcome OP is after is probably to be reassured that no child will be frogmarched away from a parent for ANY reason.

That is ludicrous behaviour and ALL staff need to be reminded that forcibly manoeuvring anyone, child or adult, is tantamont to assault and they need to keep their hands, and temper, to themselves!

I would escalate if I were in a similar situation. Totally inappropriate to touch your son in such a way as to cause him ( and yourself) distress especially given that he had done nothing wrong. Even, if he had been slightly misbehaving ( which he hadn’t been), I still wouldn’t expect a member of staff to physically grab him.

This needs to be escalated.

I wouldn’t take it further. You informed the manager, and they spoke to the person.

If you're going to escalate it, your description of the incident needs to be clearer and less emotional than your OP because your OP doesn't really make sense.
Why was he telling your DS to put rubbish in the bin? Why would you assume he was asking if your DS put the blue tack on the wall rather than asking your DS if he knocked the poster off the wall?
I'm confused how so much could have happened right beside you but you were unaware of it.

.... I also think it is a safeguarding issue- escalating this might highlight the lack of safeguarding training or that this particular individual is not following company training/ conduct policies.

Escalate it. He should a) not be touching any person, child or adult b) not be leading children away from their parents and c) not accusing any customer of being a liar.

You can ask to be reassured that the staff will be given appropriate training on safeguarding, customer service and that this will not happen again. If it’s not dealt with appropriately by the manager of the site you were at, escalate it to someone within the RHS hierarchy/ customer service team.

The outcome I would want is to hear directly from that staff member that they will never drag children away from their parents. I would also want to know that this message is spread through the wider staff to ensure it doesn't happen again.
It is never OK to grab a child and drag them from their parent and then shout at them, if they have a problem they can speak to the parent instead.

Was your kid vandalising?

I’d want to know they’d been retrained.

Definitely email. It’s awful.

@FlibbertyGiblets does that matter? There are other ways to deal with that than taking a child physically away from a parent,

I would be putting in a formal complaint.

I don't manhandle my children in that way and neither does anyone else. And, taking a young child away from his parents in that way, he'd have been lucky not to felt the wrath of full shout tetchy me in public. I worked for years in catering, one of the reasons I don't anymore is partly because I had lost my ability to deal with the constant bad behaviour of adults. It looks like this man has passed that point and found a new level of annoyed. He needs to either learn to cope or move on.

Thats terrible behaviour from the staff member but they aren't going to disclose any action taken/training for that staff member/disciplinary action with you. It'll be dealt with internally. And they wont have the staff member contact you directly either. I think emailing might make you feel better but as others have said be clear what outcome you want. It kind of sounds like you want the person to be sacked? Fair enough if that is what you want (again, totally unacceptable) but you may be disappointed if they wont tell you much.

Definitely complain in writing.

It does seem like you could have intervened sooner, however, you're right it is worth escalating as it should have happened.

Should not have happened

I’d escalate it. I’d be absolutely furious

Absolutely without question would take it further. That is shocking and I would have been furious.

Your poor son. He must have got such a fright. If it were me I would definitely take this further. Hope he's not too shaken.

CherryPavlova literally what I was going to say!

I think you should make a formal complaint by email just so that it is logged because that is complerely unacceptable behaviour by the staff member.

I'm a placid person but I would go CRAZY if a stranger thought it was ok to drag my child away from me without a word to tell him off. I would escalate!

I’m livid for you OP! That is totally unacceptable!!!!! Yes escalate and don’t go back there.. your poor wee boy!