To think that women going on holiday to places like Tunisia should be warned

[Moomin8]

By holidays reps About these men who are waiters / bar staff / animation workers looking to get money from older (or younger) western women by this 'Bezness' culture?

My friend is 40 and met a Tunisian guy who is 24 - he was working in the Tui hotel resort she was holidaying in. He's just asked her to marry him and she's considering moving her two little dds to Tunisia. Cue photos of diamond encrusted gold engagement ring. She has only spent about 3 separate weeks with him!

She will want to believe he's different I guess. But really, what I hear is that these men are sometimes players of a very long game, will keep up the act for 3 years or more to get what they want (a visa, or money / access to wife's possessions so that he can then afford to go back to Tunisia and pay the dowry for his 'real' wife).

I don't think people are aware of just how these people operate. My friend is a vulnerable person. My heart sank when she announced the engagement 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm imagining the welcome meeting at the Tunisian hotels.

Good Morning and welcome to Hotel Sunandsea.

Breakfast is served until 10am, please don't use the pool after 8pm. There's a lovely covered market for all your souvenirs in the old town. Don't marry the waiters. Please check out by 11am.

Why didn’t you warn her before she went? What are you doing right now to open her eyes to the naivety and danger of her situation?
Or are you saying ‘Someone ought to do Something’ as long as it’s not you?

This isn’t really warning about Tunisia and its men, it’s more of a warning about stupid women.

I’m sorry your friend is a dumbcluck OP.

I'm not going to say anything to her because I think people have already been giving her a hard time. She won't want to hear it. The dad (by all accounts) is no good.

I think women who go abroad should maybe think the handsome young waiter doesn't really think she is a beautiful lady. I don't think it is up to holiday reps to tell women that they might be scammed it happened to a woman I know in her 60s she bought an apartment for them she was planning to move in with him the bugger sold the flat and vanished !

Your friend has several failed relationships in the UK - and is now jumping into one in Tunisia rathr than doing some "work" to find out what has been going wrong with her relationships.

For the DD - I just hope their father can be bothered to step in and stop them being taken overseas.

There are men in prison also scamming desperate women into visiting and buying presents. They will be dumped when the bloke gets out. How desperate would you have to be?

How do you warn against stupidity?
Even if the reps did mention it they would think that their boyfriends was different

Your friend is a fool, honestly.
Any woman who falls for this shit is a fool.
Poor kids. Hopefully their father steps in.

Poor kids. Why on earth are people so desperate for a relationship?

it's a car crash waiting to happen and there isn't anything I (or anyone else) can do about it.

So what would a word from the rep, do that would change her mind?

A no good dad and mum blinded by her fanjo. Those poor girls.

You just can't reach some women. They must have a man and any man will do. Pathetic really.

You say moron is too harsh a word? I don’t think it’s harsh enough!

Complete fucking idiot to even consider doing this to her children, on the back of a three week fake relationship with a toy boy. I find the DDs being taken over there massively concerning.

Any woman who is considering moving countries with children after spending 3 weeks with a man wont listen

This

We don't generally feel sorry or feel the need to 'warn' old geezers who marry women half their age in Thailand or Ukraine. So why should we feel sorry for women in their 40s who are silly enough to think some Turkish or Jamaican hunk is madly in love/lust with them? If men in GB or other relatively rich countries aren't asking them out, why do they think a hot Turkish guy is doing so?

Well, ultimately it is her responsibility to know this is a nightmare so I guess you are all right.

But unfortunately I think some women mistakenly think that marrying a man from a third world country is no more risky than marrying an Italian guy or a German guy etc.

I'm not going to say anything to her because I think people have already been giving her a hard time. She won't want to hear it

In that case, if she isn't listening to folk who know and (presumably) care about her, what possible reason is there to think that a warning from some rep with a clipboard would have made any difference?

How do you think a holiday rep is going to make a difference?

Frankly a middle-aged woman who thinks a fit young Tunisian man is genuinely interested in her probably needs help to develop her self-esteem on the whole. A warning from a holiday rep will do fuck all. And why do you think holiday rep companies want to be implicated in all manner of accusations that would befall them should they take up this practice.

I think one of the problems may be that whereas a wealthy woman in this country would probably be on her guard against a handsome young scammer, many of the British women targeted on holiday may not perceive that by Tunisian standards they are loaded. They just don't see themselves as wealthy so they don't "get" the motivation.

Why should women be warned, why do you think we are as stupid as your friend.
If it seems to good to be true...... etc.
Holiday reps would be a bit at the suggestion tbh. I know I would have been, you'd have to give warnings for all sorts of things that people should be able to work out for themselves.

This is not a warning about Tunisia, it is no worse for this than any other country and I have lived there.

Men and women in any tourist destination that are poorer are known to do this. Beware of this but romance can be genuine but beware.

I was married 13 years to a Tunisia so know more than most, I have seen genuine marriages and none genuine marriages.

I would still be married, if he was not an abusive twat but the ops warning smacks of a little racism.

But unfortunately I think some women mistakenly think that marrying a man from a third world country is no more risky than marrying an Italian guy or a German guy etc.

Do they never think to ask why fit young Italian or German men don't generally make a point of seducing female tourists twice their age? But men in much poorer countries sometimes do?

Anyone who watches daytime tv or reads magazines or newspapers knows this is a thing. Not just in Tunisia but across the globe. My sister was sucked in by a chancer in Jamaica over 30 years ago. Luckily for her she was too hard up for him to persist with her. As someone upthread said you can’t legislate or protect against stupid.

I am middle aged and have just come back from a safari trip. The holiday reps didn’t have to warn me that young lads offering to buy me a drink, take me to dinner or introduce me to their families were more interested in my money than a committed relationship. Common sense told me that.

OP I've never heard of this (but I don't go abroad).

In what way is your friend a vulnerable adult?