To think that women going on holiday to places like Tunisia should be warned

[Moomin8]

By holidays reps About these men who are waiters / bar staff / animation workers looking to get money from older (or younger) western women by this 'Bezness' culture?

My friend is 40 and met a Tunisian guy who is 24 - he was working in the Tui hotel resort she was holidaying in. He's just asked her to marry him and she's considering moving her two little dds to Tunisia. Cue photos of diamond encrusted gold engagement ring. She has only spent about 3 separate weeks with him!

She will want to believe he's different I guess. But really, what I hear is that these men are sometimes players of a very long game, will keep up the act for 3 years or more to get what they want (a visa, or money / access to wife's possessions so that he can then afford to go back to Tunisia and pay the dowry for his 'real' wife).

I don't think people are aware of just how these people operate. My friend is a vulnerable person. My heart sank when she announced the engagement 🤦🏻‍♀️

A used to work with a woman whose sister fell for the same claptrap. only in her case he was vaguely about the same age.

She ended up dying on one of her trips to see him, but there was no proper inquest or police investigation and the man got away with claiming that she had fallen in the bathroom while alone and broken her skull on the bath. That was the end of the police involvement and nothing could be done about it, despite the family going through official channels etc.

Nobody who were involved with the case from the UK believed a single word of his claims and as far as I know, he was able to access a lot or possibly all of her money. This may have been because they had married but I can't remember all of the details.

That poor, poor woman and her family.

Where will her DC go to school?

Apparently a Tunisian school. The 'game' involves the prospective groom asking the prospective bride to come to live in his home town so that she doesn't suspect that he's trying to get a visa. He pays for everything. Then when she sees that life is generally more difficult than at home she suggests they move back to the UK. apparently

At the moment though, Tunisia is her favourite place on Earth. She obviously likes it there. But living somewhere is not the same as a holiday.

OP if your friend is officially a vulnerable adult, can you report it to any authority who might be able to help?

Why are the older women seen as victims that need protecting?
The same rules should apply when an older man chases after a younger woman.

It’s not unlike MLM.

She is in an MLM company as it happens. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Cheeseandwin5 that's ridiculous. Men are almost never the ones who are vulnerable in these scenarios.

Your friend is an irresponsible fool her children deserve better !

@BlackberryGin that is absolutely awful!!

She is in an MLM company as it happens. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Why am I not surprised

The same rules should apply when an older man chases after a younger woman

If you mean "the silly old fool should have known better", most folk I know do feel the same way

Granted it's a shame when they get fleeced, just as it is when women do, but they too could have paid attention to the many others it's happened to, and if they don't bother then it's on them

Is Take a Break, That's Life and Yours magazines still a thing? Buy your friend a copy of each and it's like the what not to do guide. Each issue had at least one tale of woe from a middle aged divorcee losing her home, family and friends thanks to a Tunisian, Greek, Turkish or whatever nationality man half her age promising her the world... as long as she sells her UK home and invests in a house in his home country that simply must be put in his name alone for legal purposes....

Vulnerable men are targeted this way too. My DB has a friend living in Ireland, who has significant mental and physical health problems, but is very well off from insurance and pension payouts. A couple of years ago he was convinced that a Russian woman he'd met online wanted to marry him. Of course she was asking him for money to cover visas, flights etc. Fortunately it never came to anything.

It's pretty daft to move in with anyone after 3 weeks tbh but especially to move countries; how much does she actually know about Tunisia? A holiday in a resort doesn't really tell you anything. She sounds pretty gullible, I would be pointing out all the practicalities to her as someone pointed out above.

Moomin8
I'm not going to say anything to her because I think people have already been giving her a hard time. She won't want to hear it. The dad (by all accounts) is no good.

It sounds like she has a history of these 'car crashes'.

It was in the Daily Fascisti a few months ago: woman divorcing Tunisian holiday romance, has to pay him half her assets.

And she married him over her children's objections.

Wish I could find the article!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1294752/Why-does-middle-aged-woman-think-HER-holiday-seducer-real-deal.html

There is no point in holiday reps warning people because they wont listen. They know others have been fleeced but itll never happen to them because the very much younger man theyve met will be different and never do that 🙄

There was a TV documentary about much older women 60s/70s who were being swept off their feet by 20 year old men. They actually believed it was real. One woman in her 60s gor married brought him back here lost her life savings to him and he disappeared. Her money in one hand and his Visa in the other. Unbelievably she subsequently met another 20 year old waiter and is marrying him. She KNOWS it's the real thing this time. Yeah sure it is.

Nothing you or anyone can say is going to persuade your friend shes about to be conned.

The women are exploiting much younger, economically poorer men if you ask me. Deluded and usually much, much more life experience. Looking to bag a toy boy based on their looks and being good in bed.

I still don't get why according to the OP, women who allow themselves to fall for men half their age in much poorer countries are somehow deserving of pity, but not men who do the same?

In both cases, we're talking about people who are too dumb to realise that attractive young men/women don't generally go for middle aged men/women unless there's something in it for them. That, or they're too vain to think the general rule applies to them. Either way, they're deserving of scorn, not pity, regardless of whether they are male or female.

The women are exploiting much younger, economically poorer men if you ask me. Deluded and usually much, much more life experience. Looking to bag a toy boy based on their looks and being good in bed.

What are the women doing? Force feeding them viagra & tying them to a bed?

I don't know how people can be that stupid.

What are the women doing? Force feeding them viagra & tying them to a bed?

You could ask the same question of the men. Nobody is forcing these women to be scammed by men half their age. It's their choice, based on their own stupidity and/or vanity.

Why is 'third world' offensive? What is correct - developing countries?

Could "do a Trump" though, he calls them shit-hole countries!

Well, you could just mention the country itself. They all have names!

In that scenario, USSR was the "second world", which broke up long ago and they seem to have many multi-billionaires now.

India and China were third-world countries then too. Hardly applicable. now in economic terms.

The main problem here is that women are brainwashed/socialised/manipulated into believing that being single is a very bad thing, especially being a single parent. We are taught that any man is better than no man. So of course she's going to be desperate if she's never questioned that message.

She won't listen, that message is ingrained. She will have to learn the hard way and hopefully she will just lose money and not her children, sanity or both.

People have to take responsibility for themselves, at the end of the day. You're a bit daft not to do due diligence on any holiday destination full stop, and it's not just Tunisia where this is common.