I have a house guest who has been in bed since Saturday and her husband doesn’t seem bothered. WWYD?

[hangingabout]

DH’s cousin and his new wife arrived on Saturday from the US. They’re only here until tomorrow. On Saturday afternoon, I had made lunch for about 20 people because other relatives came over to see them, but the wife went to bed after about one hour. All she ate was a tiny piece of roti and she was very quiet. Fair enough, I thought, she’s probably jet-lagged. Anyway, she has not been seen since! I’m not sure what to do now.
Yesterday morning, I made brunch but she didn’t surface. DH said to just leave a tray outside her door and knock. She didn’t answer, but the tray had disappeared later on. Then DH and his cousin were cycling all afternoon, but no sign of her. I asked the cousin if his wife was ok when they got back and he said she was “just lying down” and didn’t need any dinner. Then DH took him to the pub.
Today I was meant to be taking her out but still no sign. DH has gone to work and the cousin has gone to meet some business contacts. I have 3 teen / tweens here. AIBU to just go out and leave her a note?

So rude!

Her that is. Why don't they just stay in a hotel??

Sounds very rude. Either that or on some sort of medication which zonks her out, or recovering from a break down/depression/anxiety...who knows. It would be interesting to know how she was in India, but doesn't sound like you will get much out of the cousin.

I wouldn’t have them back again, I think your dh May now be on that page.

This is rude.

Maybe your DH might say something to the cousin after a few glasses of whiskey? I'd just really want to know what the problem is. There clearly is one even if it just boils down to her thinking she is staying somewhere that's beneath her. I also find it strange that her DH thinks this her behaviour is normal. Whatever the problem is - she doesn't sound like much fun to be around.

How odd shes very rude

Well, my thoughts that she's like this because she's rude, haven't changed. I agree with you OP, manners dictate that you would at least be polite to your hosts, and ask how they are. You don't disappear to your room like a sulky teenager.

Still, at least you know you don't need to waste any money on food for her.

OP don’t you dare be taking her up trays of food or drinks. If she wants anything, she asks you for it.

So, so rude.

@hangingabout I think you're being very polite and by asking questions where a yes/no answer is an option you're giving him a easy ride. I'd be straight in asking what the heck is going on!

Maybe she has CFS/M.E? Would explain the "lying down" all the time.

It would be very easy to explain that to the hosts though.

My wife has ME...

At least don't take food to her room.

Ask DH to say something to the cousin.

Ask DH to say something to the cousin.

Sorry for double post, it said it failed!

I’m dying to get to the bottom of this OP!

Wow I've just rtft. You've handled it better than I would, OP!

We were in the living room area and I think she was texting him from upstairs. He went up and then came back a few minutes later to ask if she could have “plain cookies” and chamomile tea. DH asked if she was ill. “Oh no.., it’s the jetlag”, replied the cousin. Then DH said, “Because we thought she was maybe pregnant or something like that?” The cousin just laughed and said it had been a long flight and no, she wasn’t pregnant and if she was his mother wouldn’t have let her come. Then we started talking about his brothers wife who had a very premature baby, so that was that.
I don’t know why they just didn’t stay in a hotel nearer the airport. I bet she’s been like this the whole time in India.

My opinion hasn't changed since her first visit - she's completely and utterly rude. There is absolutely no excuse for her behaviour.

Jetlag isn't an excuse for basically ignoring your hosts when you arrive in their home. I 'suffer' from it too when travelling, but it doesn't rob me of me ability to show basic manners.

I would be telling cousin straight out that his wife was no longer welcome back in my home due to her utter rudeness. In fact, I'd never have had her back after the first visit, and would have called them out on after the first few days of their original visit.

I think you need to just come out with it and ask 'Is she like this everywhere she goes?'. Can't see that you are going to get any answers on this visit though and I def wouldn't let them stay with you next time. Maybe the cousin still has his rose coloured specs on as she must be so boring to live with.

Have you told the cousin that you're not a hotel and he may need to pop down to the local shop, sorry, garage forecourt since it's Sunday night, for the items his wife requires?

I agree. I think she simply has a total disregard for you and your family, staying with you is a means to an end and her interest beyond that is zero. So rude.

I was also going to say that she sounds very dull indeed. How boring she must be.

Its just not normal behaviour and its very rude shes just treating your home as a glorified hotel, tell her piss odd and get her own plain cookies

Actually, I'd just say 'Sorry, we don't have any' and offer no alternatives.

She's so rude. And weird that the husband doesn't seem bothered. I'd have to tell them it's not a hotel. Clearly she doesn't want to be visiting, they should book into an actual hotel.