Gender scan ruined??

[MrsHalli]

Me and my husband went for our 20 week scan not wanting to know the gender so it would be a nice surprise at birth. We made it clear at the start that we didn't want to know the gender. However our sonographer came out and said 'I only know the sex because' it' got in the way'.... I feel like they have now ruined our surprise as I believe that makes it obvious it's a boy and they were referring to a willy.
Has anyone else been told this and been proven wrong?

We came out of our anomaly scan terrified having found out our baby had IUGR and was scarily undersized. The last thing we have 2 shits about was the sex,,which we had not found out

I honestly think they should stop informing parents to be of the sex of a baby. Finding out won't change anything & it makes people focus on the wrong thing. There are a lot of important pieces of information in the anomaly scan and the sex is not one of them.

A scan is ruined when they tell your baby is dead, or has some terrible disability. Spoiling your surprise really isn't a big deal.

Surely its the same surprise either way anyway. It’s not ‘peeking at your presents before xmas day’ ffs. It’s a human.

I honestly think they should stop informing parents to be of the sex of a baby. Finding out won't change anything & it makes people focus on the wrong thing.

I absolutely disagree. Of course the OP is ridiculous, but when everything is well, it's a lovely information to have - and as it's part of the procedure anyway, why not telling the parents (when there's no cultural issue around it).

For mums like me, focusing on the idea of the gender before the scan was also a way to try to avoid thinking of all that could possibly go very wrong. It doesn't change the outcome, but it's such a terrifying time that thinking about it was a small but welcome distraction.

@Mamabear1986 thing is, she DIDN’T get told the gender. she got told the baby has visible genitals, which at 20 weeks they really should have. Nothing was told.

Are some posters on this thread honestly saying that somehow parents that find out the sex early aren’t as thrilled and excited at the birth of their child because the surprise has been “ruined”?!? Fair enough if that’s what you want to do, but don’t act as if you’re somehow superior to those who decided to find out.

What a massively bizarre attitude - and I’m saying that as someone who probably would Keep the sex as a surprise if I’m ever lucky enough to get a pregnancy to stick that long!!!

Argh it makes me so frustrated when the OP sods off from the thread just because they don’t like the response.

MNHQ should ban all OP from starting any threads if they do that. It should be mums net law. It’s so rude!

I know this OP is a goady, selfish what not but she should still have the grace to reply.

And breathe......

Orchidflower1
I always give bonus point to a poster faced to a pretty much unanimous disagreement but doesn't suddenly "get recognised in real life" and needs the thread to disappear

At least most of these are still readable on reddit, but still!

I honestly think they should stop informing parents to be of the sex of a baby. Finding out won't change anything & it makes people focus on the wrong thing

Or at least make sure the parents understand the difference between sex and gender as a very basic first step in parenting a well rounded human being.
If a parent to be needs to 'focus' on a ridiculous social construct and buy horribly stereotyped items then they need to re-examine their priorities.

There is nothing superior about finding out vs not, but it's makes no difference either way and in this case the OP wasn't told the sex. she has inferred something that was never said and run with it for the sake of being offended.

I'm not sure why the sonographer felt the need to comment on the genitals (that's genitals in general, I do not believe they were referring to a penis), I've never experienced that before- every scan they've told me and DH when they were approaching the genitals so we could look away and then told us when they'd moved on.

Ruined ?
You're either very young or you've had an exceptionally charmed life .
I hope you will never experience a ruined scan.

If a parent to be needs to 'focus' on a ridiculous social construct and buy horribly stereotyped items then they need to re-examine their priorities.

what, not trying to dress a little boy in pink and glittery girly outfits to show how "modern" you are?

For some of us, the priority is having healthy kids comfortable in their own skin and identity, not push some ridiculous agenda, but hey, each to their own.